I'm not sure if this belongs here or in the friends, relatives and relationships area but it might fit here...
Well they haven't plain come out and told me they don't like me or shown any disrespect but I get the feeling that they really don't think I'm the person they'd pick to date their son. I always figured I was a great person, I don't do anything illegal and I am very nice, friendly and respectful but that doesn't seem to matter...
Does anyone have any advice or have any similar stories and how they dealt with their partner (girlfriend, boyfriend's) parents' if they disapproved of you?
Thanks

I am a guy and i have been there before trust me. My told me before we broke up that she felt my family didnt like her. It might just be the change that they no there son or daughter is growing up or something along those lines. I also felt her parents didnt like me but discovered WHO CARES!!! What does it matter if everyone s yall as long as you love one another. Dont let this ruin yall it did me and my ex and now i have to be very patient to even start talking to her again. I love her and what im telling you is work through it I no its possible and i hope to try one day good luck

thanks, I'm sorry to hear that your relationship was damaged because of that.
I've talked to this to my mom and she thinks that if I continue with him and if we ever were to get married, that his parents would always be in our lives and controlling him (and me).
at the moment, its like they control or rule him from what I've seen sometimes (and my mom thinks this too)
my parents are involved in my life too, but they do not rule or control me. like his parents want him to have the best/perfect girlfriend and apparently I am not perfect...
he has his flaws too but my parents told me if I love him they only want me to be happy and don't want to prevent me from seeing him or even marrying him if it comes to that

Run away, fast! Unless you like being told what to do, you're going to be miserable. When you get married, you not only get married to your spouse but you also get married to the family, too.

From your post, you say you "think" they don't like you. There could be other concerns. Perhaps they want their son to go to college and don't want him to be distracted by anyone. If you are old enough to be in a relationship, you are old enough to sit down with the parents and tell them that you have sensed that they do not approve of you. Ask them to talk to you about it. Share your long term goals. Perhaps if they know you have goals for education and future plans they will be able to make a better informed judgement of whether the approve of you as future marraige material. No parent should run an adults life, but the job of parenting includes seeing that a young person stays on track to a good education so that he can support himself and a future family.

Jo-I get the sense that they didn't like me and from what my bf says they have problems with me.
We are old enough (adults) and are in college. I am very...college focused and strive for good grades. He on the other hand had been not doing too well in his classes until this semester. He totally stood up for me though saying that since we've been dating his grades have improved unexpectedly.
Ichi-thats what my mom said, but she wants me to make my own decisions and be happy. I don't know, I think any advice they'd give us throughout life would be great and welcomed...but in the end I don't want to make my life mirror what they expect it to look like...I like to make my own decisions

You're right: you need to make your own decisions on your own. That's the only way people become adults. And, you really don't become an adult until you've been knocked on the ground, hard, and have to pick yourself up, which doesn't typically happen until your late 20s early 30s. That's when you get to know yourself.

Getting back to my advice, I say it from personal experience and observation. Other people may have other experiences and you should hear those as well. However, behaviors rarely change because people are either comfortable or successful with them. Only a major crisis or loss of confidence will cause someone to change. That doesn't happen too often.

Here's more general advice about life: Think with your head first, your heart is for finetuning your decisions.

ive had similar problems. i dont do anything bad besides drink rarely, and my bfs parents have problems with me. some times i feel like its cause im not the prettiest girl, or that because i had financial problems last year that supposedly makes me 'bad'. im 25 (26 in 6 mos), and hes 21 (22 in less than a month), but his mother has outright said to me that age doesnt matter since they have a couple year difference too. also too they try to control him. hes an extremely intelligent man and is doing well for himself, doesnt get in to trouble or does anything wrong, but they treat him like hes 16. he currently lives in his parents house because hes paying off college, but hes a grown man.. hes not a baby. he wont stand for himself because they threaten to kick him out and currently we dont have enough money to move in to a place together and wont til the end of this yr, so him taking the way out isnt an option. i dont like it one bit and i try to get him to come to my house as often as i can, but they still give him hell for it if he doesnt call at certain times or doesnt come home for the night. i understand being a parent and worrying, but they take worrying too far. i love him though to death and ive held my place by his side for nearly 2 years now, and im not going anywhere.

You mentioned a concern that they might run his life but he has demonstrated loyalty and independent thinking when he defended you. He defended you by saying his grades had improved while seeing you which tells me that their concern was if a relationship would be a destraction. I still say, that you should talk with them in a friendly manner so that they can hear from your own mouth what kind of a person you are. It doesn't sound like they have a problem with you at all. Perhaps you boyfriend has demonstrated a need for...motivation in the past and they are concerned that his grades will suffer. If they realize how motivated you are, it will aleviate any fears they may have. It is a difficult transition for parents to go through. Knowing when their encouragement and motivation is no longer needed by their offspring. Let go too soon and and they may not take off and fly properly. Hold on too long and your controlling.

It is reasonable to expect a family member no matter who it is to notify you if they are later than expected or not coming home at all. It isn't reasonable to expect him to explain why he is not coming home. He is a grown man and priorities change. If the need for an independent living arrangement eventually outweighs the convenience of paying off his debts sooner he may decide he can afford to move. It is alway better to start life debt free but as I said priorities change. There is an old joke about a couple waiting until they could afford to wed. He came down the isle with a cane and she with a walker.

I actually think that for many parents it is difficult to see their child settle down with a partner. It is what they want, of course ~ their child to be happy and to have their own children in turn ~ but it is difficult to actually see it happen.

There is an old adage that no girl is good enough for any mother's son and no boy is good enough for any father's daughter ~ or words to that effect. Sometimes they get to know and love each other; sometimes they learn to tolerate each other; sometimes there is a major falling out.

Also some partners remain close to, and reliant on, their families and some don't. Depending on the other partner this may, or may not, cause problems.

This is often what life is all about, when it comes to love and marriage ~ unless, of course, partners come from a culture where marriages are arranged and then it can be very different I imagine.

Dagny, going back to your other thread and all the concerns, I think that you need to give this relationship a very objective inspection.

well I believe they like me more ever since he did tell them I helped improve his grades (which personally I don't take any credit)
but we are taking things slower PDM and thats what I had wanted:)

Great!

Good luck!