I was in a serious relationship for three years, when he left me for another woman, i was devastated. About a month later, I met this guy, who was really sweet and very good lookin. we ended up getting involved in a no strings, just having fun relationship. three weeks later, I'm starting to like the guy, and would like more. Not looking to marry him, but more than just physical. A date, the movies, just get to know him better and find out if he's good for me, or should i find someone else. but we went into this with no possibility of anything more. Is it possible to change this?

Hello pntherchk.

I am sorry to hear about the break down of your relationship. That must have been ~ and still be ~ very difficult to cope with.

And now, after only a few weeks, you are involved in a physical relationship, with someone you have only known for a short time.

I get the impression that this happens quite often in situations like these ~ from things I have read, etc.

However, I have also read that purely physical relationships are not suited to most women.

You met a man who was attractive and sweet. I would say that, by finding him 'attractive' and 'sweet' ~ especially 'sweet', you were already going beyond a purely physical fun thing.

After all, when a woman is first attracted to the man of her dreams, she is likely to find him 'attractive' and 'sweet'.

Physical relationships are based on little more than sexual fulfillment. I'm guessing that you 'liked' him before this ~ that you 'liked' him before you agreed to having fun-filled sex.

The thing now is that you are getting to know him better, and to like him more and that, this being a sexual relationship, nature's way is to make you either decide he is not for you, or make you feel an attachment ~ maybe even the beginnings of falling in love.

On the other hand, this might also be a case of 'love on the rebound', which may not always work out if followed through.

Is it possible to change matters?
Of course!
Your feelings have changed; maybe his have too.

So soon after the break up of your long-tern relationship I would say that quickly changing partners may not be a good idea.

I also think that it is probably too soon to get seriously involved with someone new & that some alone-time, to give yourself chance to consider things, might be good for you ~ but I may be wrong there.

I think that you should talk to this man. He knows your history, I imagine.

Tell him that you have enjoyed the times you have spent together; that you know it is too soon to embark on a new long-tern relationship, because you haven't had time to deal with the end of the first one yet, but that you like his company and would love to spend some time with him doing other things ~ going out & getting to know each other, etc.

See how he responds.
If all he sees you as is a sex object, then he is not quite as sweet as you thought ~ in my opinion, of course.

Good luck & welcome to the forum!

A rebound relationship can be very healing - but the chances of it being anything permanent is slim. Enjoy what you have now. Heal yourself through it and take it one day at a time. Don't try to change anything. If it does it does, if you try you won't enjoy what you have right now.

It may or may not work out, it depends on what kind of guy he is. I understand yo were hurting and looking for someone to hold you but maybe you went a step too far. You said he is sweet so maybe he is willing to take this into a serious relationship. You need to bring it up and find out before anymore happens, and if he doesn't want a serious relationship with you then it wasn't meant to be. He was only meant for fun and to help you begin to heal, sort of like a protective band aid that tends to wear out after a while and you're left on your own to deal with the cut. It's your choice whether or not to not change the band aid out and let it get infected or put some neosporin on it and suck it up!

Candy & Crushes

The world moves on Sweet heart, and so should you. Life doesn't move at your pace, it tends to be just a few steps ahead, catch up!