i really really miss my ex gf and i dont know what to shes the love of my life and i lost her:(
she told me i was pushin her away but why would i do thaat i love her to much to do thaat
she has found some1 else and she keeps tellin me she really likes himm
i just dont understandd i thought she lovedd me
we are still talkin...?

Hi & welcome!

For most people there will be a series of boyfriends / girlfriends before they find 'the one'. It sounds as if this girl is still seeking. That doesn't mean that she no longer cares about you ~ just that, for now, at least, she feels that you are not that 'one'.

You say that she is the love of your life, and I'm sure that it seems this way now ~ so you must be feeling a lot of pain ~ but you will probably realise, a few years hence, that she actually wasn't 'the one'. Or, alternatively, you may find each other again & stay together.

You are bound to be missing her, and feeling sad. This is normal and very common, but you are really better off apart if she would rather be with the other boy at present.

Don't worry ~ you will find your 'Miss Right ~ and it may or may not turn out to be this girl. Good luck and stay positive!

im just not goin to make it:'( :'(

I know it's hard, but time heals.

If you feel really bad about this, then you must not let it get you down, you must talk to someone about it. Talking through things can really help.

If you feel that she has misunderstood you, or some of your actions, then you could write to her, perhaps, explaining that you never wanted to push her away, so you cannot understand why she interpreted it that way, and that you miss her, etc.
However, she may just have used that as an excuse to end the relationship. It happens a lot; it may not seem fair but it happens. Without hearing her side of the story, it's impossible to say.

Try to find interesting things to do and interesting people to see, to stop you dwelling on the situation too much. And talk to someone you can trust ~ try not to get depressed about it.

You will find someone whom you care about & who wants to be with you. Remember, that is what you need in order to be really happy ~ not someone who would rather be off finding other people.

Remember, you can vent your feelings on here!
If you read some of the other threads, you will see that you are certainly not the only person going through this.

Good luck & take care!!

i mean she told mee she wanted to spend the rest of her life with mee and everything,getting married,having a family i mean EVERYTHING and she just walks out just like thaat
its just killing mee

It's hard to understand, but it happens.

I know someone who was planning to get married and just realised that it didn't feel right. She continued to feel great affection for him, but married someone else. It happens and it hurts. It's a kind of grief, so it is normal to feel as you do. But you will find happiness again. Take comfort in that if you can.

I dated a guy for 2.5 years and he broke it off with me. At that time we had of course talked about marriage and the future. We were very serious and this relationship was long term. It hurt, I cannot deny that, I thought I couldn't deal with it, but time truly does heal. I spent a lot of time talking to my parents and my friends about the situation and I realized that it actually was for the better. He and I weren't a match even though I thought we were.

He left me and hurt me and if he truly loved me there was no way he would have done that to me. It has been several years since then and I have met my current boyfriend who I have been dating for a long time now and I couldn't be happier. According to me, it was very important to have that heart break. It has made me a lot stronger and a lot more knowledgable about love and life.

Yes, I think that a relationship couldn't really work ,where one party doesn't truly want to be in it. It wouldn't be right for that person ~ but it wouldn't be right for the other one, either. No-one would really wish to stay with someone who didn't love them enough to want to be with them.

ok ok ok when i got home from school today i looked at my cell phone and i had a new msg so i looked at it and it said i love you forever and ever -your angel
i believe thats my ex gf because i called her my angel alott..

Wow!

Well, that's a turn up!
I wonder what that means, exactly, in view of what has been going on??!!

Good luck!!

Just a little info from me on this me and my fiance have been together 10 years back in april 2007 she decided that she was not happy anymore and left me we stayed in contact i gave her the space she desired yes i was upset and hurt we had been together then for 9 years i could not figure out where i went wrong i even actually moved on with my life and met someone else and dated for about a month but knew i could not move on because i still loved nikki and i talked to the new girl and she understood completely which was a relief cause i did not want to hurt someone else the same way i had been hurt well in august of 2007 nikki got sick and was hospitalized and i was there by her side each day she was there i even took a personal leave from work to be by her side she realized then just how much i loved her and why she had been with me for so many years and she asked me to go back with her and be her soulmate for the rest of our lives relationships are great but can be hurtful and twisted until you find that right one and when you find him or her you know it... So good luck and do not get discourage and i am sure you have heard the saying 100's of times there are plenty of fish in the sea and when you catch the right one deep down you will know it !

if your truely were a good mate and ths happens be glad,it happen before the I dos.move on,plenty of women are looking for a good man.

is that a good thingg???

yea, i had a boyfriend who left me, and i tried and called, adn did everything i could for a whole month, but when i finally gave up he then wanted me back, but we dated alttle after that,b ut i look now and i know hes not the one,now i happy with my lover and a baby, and im happy! she just looks like she may have found someone else, and idk why shes texting you that when it seems she doesnt want you, she just knows your there waiting, did you reply to the message?

I don't know.
What do you think?

Personally, if you still care for her, I think that you should perhaps ask her what is going on. If you are going to keep loving her from a distance anyway, then you really need to know what she is doing and if you can rely on her feelings.

It may be that you can get back together and be happy ~ but I think that you need to be sure of her feelings.

no i didnt reply to her txt msg but she has told me she still have her feelings for me

you have to peretend you dont care anymore, cause if you do she knows she still has you and can play @ with you, or come back when she feels like it, making you feel used, you did a good thing not replying, i know its hard, you probably got excited

but if i pretend to dont care then her feelings will go away..?

I'm not sure that you should 'pretend', exactly, but you need to sort out what she really wants and thinks and not just allow her to assume that you are hanging around waiting for her ~ while she's off with other lads.

And ask yourself what you really want & how you really feel ~ about her and about what has happened.

If you really want her back and she really still loves you, then this might be great; but you need to be sure of her feelings and your own.

thanks for helping me ouut thooo
but it just seems i miss her more and more everydayy

I know that it's difficult for you.

i just miss her
thought she loved mee.....:'(

playing with someones feelings is n small matter.I'd continue being her friend but not planning on going back into a more pwesonnal relationship.I would start doing things and going places on my own.

i know girls and been in this situation, and if the other person knows your hangin around they will just play @ more with you and still flirt with boys cause they know your goin to be there when they want you, but its hard for the first month just hang on, dont let it make you down in school or work

Do you mind me asking how old you are?

your not askin me huh, but basketball dude right?

Yes ~ I wondered if I hadn't made it clear enough.

hahah, it ok, i do that all the time

i am 16

I don't normally post on this part of the board, but I'm posting here because for some reason this one struck a chord with me. The exact same thing happened to me when I was 16. I'd been with this girl several years - we grew up together - and I thought we were going to get married etc. Young though we were, I really loved her, and I never thought it would end. Then, without warning, she dumped me and took up with someone else.

I was devastated. The pain was worse than physical pain (literally). All I could ask was why, why? What did this other guy have that I didn't have?

It was a dark time in my young life.......but it passed.

Now, many years later, I look back and I realise that there was nothing wrong with me. The other guy didn't have something I was lacking. It's just that my old gf and I grew apart, that's all. As we grow up, we develop, mature, change. Sometimes that means we grow apart from people we were once close to. It's sad, it hurts, but it's life.

Nothing I or anybody else can say will make the pain go away. You have to ride out the storm. But it WILL go away...in time.

You might feel now like you will never love anybody else like you love her. But you're wrong.

Yes, Joe, what seems like the love of one's life at 16, may not be at all and, in fact, rarely is.

Basketballdude3, love at 16 is incredibly special, and heartbreak at 16 is incredibly hard. But Joe is right. You will get over it.

Why she is contacting you, when she has met someone else, I don't know. Maybe she trusts you and feels safety with you, so doesn't want to lose that completely.
But she has to make up her mind.

Maybe, when she says that she will love you forever, she means it, but this could be interpreted in a couple of ways. The obvious one is that she wants you back & is waiting for you to agree. The other is that she will always care for you, as her first love ~ even if you are not together, because first real love does stay with you.

As I said, most people have a series of boyfriends / girlfriends before they find 'the one'. Unrequited love is very hard to deal with. Most teenagers have to cope with it at some stage. You will be fine.

thanks everyone i am feeling alot better
but yesterday i was talkin to her on AIM she was sayin i love you alots and i want you badly in spanish

Don't let her play with your feelings, dude. Either she really loves you or she doesn't.....if she does, she'll get rid of this other guy she's with. If she isn't prepared to do that, then she's just stringing you along....don't let her!

idk really if shes playin with my feelings or not but she sounds serious when she says i love you and stuff

Well ask her what she is going to do about it.
Is she still with him or not?

what you mean ask her?
yess shes still with him

I mean ask her what she intends to do ~ she says she loves you, but she has another boyfriend.
She can't have it both ways, really, can she?
Is she 16 too?

should i ask her that when the time comes?? i'll probably upset her if i doo
shes 15

I GIVE UP IM DONE TRYING
*looks down*
i give up

At 15, she may have feelings, but she is far too young to be involved in a serious long-term relationship.

As I said before, 16 is very, very young ~ and, obviously, 15 is even younger. I'm not even sure that I think 15 is even old enough to date seriously, never mind to decide, or know, if you have met 'the one'.

I didn't meet my husband until I was 18 ~ and even that is very young to start going out with the person who will be your life partner.

You have changed a lot in the last few years, I'm sure, and you will go on changing ~ as will she. Teens are transition years ~ the best of times & the worst of times.

To talk of spending the rest of your lives together, getting married & having a family, at such a young age isn't a good idea ~ or even realistic.

Enjoy your youth & get to know different people ~ boys & girls ~ but don't get too serious or make long-term plans just yet.

Emotions run high during your teens. She may come back to you; she may not. You WILL get over it. This happens to lots & lots of people. Maybe if you talk to her you will get some sense from her or maybe you will meet someone else soon.

Don't give up on finding 'the one', but don't, at 16, expect to find the girl you will marry. You might, but you are more likely to meet her ~ or meet up again ~ when you are old enough to be in a settled long-term relationship.

Maybe that was what your girlfriend couldn't cope well with. A lot of people might find it a bit frightening to make future plans, like that, at 15.

Take care.

Some people do meet their life partner that young. My mum met my dad when she was 16, and they've been together ever since (close on half a century!) But as PDM said, it's rare.

Think how much you've changed since you were, say, 12. It's only four years, but you've undoubtedly grown up and altered a hell of a lot in that time. You'll go through a lot more change by the time you're, say, 21. That's why most teenage relationships don't survive, because you're both changing and growing as people, and the things you thought you wanted at 15 or 16 may not be what you want at 20. Does that make sense?

Anyway, I know it's easy for us oldies to sit here pontificating about it. I know you're suffering, dude, but it'll pass, and when it does you'll be wiser for the experience. Trust me!

i understand all of this....
but i mean we're still talking and stuff and telling me i love you alot and i want you badly just dont understand that really

Well, it's easy enough to say "I love you"....but if she doesn't love you enough to ditch the other guy, she doesn't really love you at all.

I know it's hard, but having false hope might cause you more agony in the long run than making a clean break.

If I were you, I'd tell her she needs to make up her mind.....either it's you she wants, or this other guy. She can't have both.

If she can't make up her mind....a clean break might be the best way to go. It'll hurt like hell for a little while, but that will fade, believe me.

Good luck and take care.

thanks for everything man
just tryin to keep my head up lol
i'll ask her if she txts me tonightt

Whichever way it goes, don't let it get you down.....you've all your life ahead of you and there's a world full of pretty ladies just waiting to make your acquaintance :P Keep smiling!

hopefully she'll come back
but im thinking about waiting on dating for a few years i kinda not trusting girls right noww lol

Understandable.....get this one out of your system first....but you'll know when you're ready to try again.

Maybe she will come back, now or in the future...but if she doesn't, put it down to experience. Either way, keep your chin up and don't let it get you down!

Hey you'll get over it really, this will happen many more times! It will only seem like the end of the world for a couple days then you get distracted by something else.. promise! If things don't work out, that is.

This is from another thread ~ just to show that you are not unusual:

http://www.wineintro.com/forum/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=243112&fpart=3

ok ok yesterday my buddy talked to her and she told him that she loves me but she never tells me that<<only him>>>
later on i get a txt msg from her and it said if i was ok and that they were worried about me and stuff
i dont get it??? what is she tryin to do

I don't know.

If you really need to know, you are going to have to ask her ~ whether or not you will get a straight answer is another matter.

It's sounds like she cares about you a lot but not the way you care about her. I think she still is wanting to be friends with you and doesn't want you to be hurt by her. Then again she could be playing with your emotions as well. Whatever the case or how ever it works out don't worry I can tell you from my experiance everything you are going through is normal and you should live your life and it will get better. You sound like a great guy who cares a lot and that will be your strenght one day. Let this pass and keep your chin up, you deserve some one who will care about you as much as you care about them. If you really want answers just tell her how you still feel and ask her about her feelings. Don't give up on enjoying life or finding someone that clicks. You will one day!