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Posted By: 428pm PARENTING ADVICE PLEASE!!!!! - 09/12/08 01:16 AM
I just finished cleaning up a whole bunch of puke.

Why?

Because my 3 yr old thinks it's funny to gag himself and accidentally makes himself vomit. This isn't the first time.

It makes me vomit,and there ends up being vomit on everything, because he won't stay in the washroom. My whole house stinks, my throat is burning, my stomach hurts.

I heard hyserical laughing and the gagging and ran into the room too late to stop him.

WHAT IS HE THINKING?

How can I make him understand THIS IS NOT FUNNY!

I could throttle him right now I am so angry and grossed out!!!!!

Posted By: big bad momma Re: PARENTING ADVICE PLEASE!!!!! - 09/12/08 01:37 AM
don't beat or punish him.try to find out what's troubling him.is there a new baby or pet in the house.is there any problems in your private relationship/.sometimes kids will act out if none of these apply then you souled seek medical help.
Posted By: 428pm Re: PARENTING ADVICE PLEASE!!!!! - 09/12/08 01:43 AM
I don't ever lay hands on him, I dont think that is a good discipline.

There isnt anything psychological or physical. He saw someone breifly after, stuff happened before with me.

It's simple, the sound he can make when he puts his fingers down his throat? He thinks it's funny.
So he does it over and over, and then ends up puking, but not on purpose.
He doesn;t puke everytime. It is so gross. You would think he would stop doing it, since it's kinda a self punishing behaviour.

Srsly? Doesn't is burn and feel unpleasant? sheesh.
Posted By: Me & 6 Fids Re: PARENTING ADVICE PLEASE!!!!! - 09/12/08 01:45 AM
i know that there's a lot of things going on with you personally (from previous discussions) and think he may be reacting to the environment. Do you guys spend fun quality time together? I know what you mean about puking...my nephew was sick one day and he would just barf out of nowhere...fortunately my sister was around and she was able to clean it up---she hated it but she did b/c that's what mom's do. Do you get breaks from one another and does he do this with other people?
Posted By: 428pm Re: PARENTING ADVICE PLEASE!!!!! - 09/12/08 01:53 AM
yea, he does it with other people too, like I said, he thinks it's hilarious.

We spent time together, and apart, at home, and out. Lately we have been spending more time together.

I have to admit, i wasn't the greatest mom before, kinda self involved in my own misery. Then I went to the hospital, and I've slowly been taking over more responsibility with him.

He started doing this a while ago, and he does it when he meets new kids to impress them. It's a huge joke to him.
Posted By: Me & 6 Fids Re: PARENTING ADVICE PLEASE!!!!! - 09/12/08 01:55 AM
do you take things away from him when he does it? He may just have to grow out of it unfortunately. The next time it happens especially in front of new kids, remove him from the situation as punishment. if he sees the other kids having fun and he can't b/c of his actions that may make him straighten up.
Posted By: Me & 6 Fids Re: PARENTING ADVICE PLEASE!!!!! - 09/12/08 01:57 AM
something my son was forced to do when he got to be around 4yo was when he was bad, we made him do squats. Oh he hated us with a passion but he soon learned to not do that type of behavior. 3yo may be too young for that but an idea for the future. It also builds up their leg muscles!! smile
Posted By: 428pm Re: PARENTING ADVICE PLEASE!!!!! - 09/12/08 02:00 AM
lol, actually I havent punished him for it, because I figured there was a natural consequence you know?

NORMAL people find vomitting unpleasant! *sigh* I will never understand the minds of male children. NEVER.

I don't want to be mean and punish him fo rpuking, but seriously! c'mon kid!

thanks for letting me vent, lol...I will punish him for it next time...Maybe, um...yea punishment isnt my thing...
Posted By: Me & 6 Fids Re: PARENTING ADVICE PLEASE!!!!! - 09/12/08 02:05 AM
kids need to learn boundaries and removing him from the situation or giving a time out is not going to hurt him. He may seem like he's dying but he's not. You're not hitting him just showing him that behaviour is unacceptable. my son used to beat his head on the ground but we had to show him that was unacceptable by putting him in time out and then explaining to him why his behaviour wasn't working. Give it a try...if not things could become worse and i'm sure you don't want that!!
Posted By: 428pm Re: PARENTING ADVICE PLEASE!!!!! - 09/12/08 02:15 AM
no no no....not worse!! lol!

Actaully, I am on a nanny site, lol researching 'effective time outs' hopefully this will work.

So like after his bath and everything, I would give him a time out? aww.....poor kid....

but still, I am desperate to make this nonsense stop.
Posted By: PDM Re: PARENTING ADVICE PLEASE!!!!! - 09/12/08 07:48 AM
My nephew, if he behaves inappropriately, just sits alone in another room for 5 minutes. It gives him time to think and to realise that he's missing out on fun. He's safe and unhurt but is learning what is and isn't acceptable. He's 8. The time out must be immediately after the behaviour or it won't be linked in his mind. He knows how you feel, so, though there might usually be warnings, this might not, in this case, be appropriate, because it will remind him ~ put the thought in his mind ~ and he might not then be able to stop himself.

Yes, boys do find the strangest things funny ~ I have two boys, aged 18 & 22!

The eldest seemed very difficult when he was tiny, but is a lovely boy. Indeed, he always was; they both are. I think that his 'problems' were really mine. I had post-natal depression and, though I loved him dearly, I didn't like being a Mum at the time. I found it extremely hard.

He used to scream and be so demanding, but the thing is kids will sense if something is wrong and will test you to the limits to get the attention they crave from their Mums and to test their Mums' love to the limit.

Also, I understand that the more you tell a child not to do something, the harder he finds it not to do it. It's better to show pleasure at good behaviour than displeasure at bad behaviour. Diversion techniques are good.

If he looks about to vomit, say something like ~ oh dear, if you do that now, we won't have time to / be able to ... (choose something he likes, like going to the park, making models, etc). Always have a plan ready, that you can carry through to distract him.
Posted By: kksuns Re: PARENTING ADVICE PLEASE!!!!! - 09/12/08 01:30 PM
I totally agree with the distraction thing. Actually I think he continues to do it just to get a rise out of mom! So maybe if you don't make a big deal out of it and try not to overreact he'll stop. 'cause if he thinks it's not bothering you what's the point in doing it anymore? I know easier said then done right? But seriously it seems to me if he continues to do it, it's got to be bad for him...can't making yourself vomit all the time eventually damage your esophagus(sp)? So yeah try distracting him with something else if you think he's gonna do it. Or maybe make a deal if he doesn't do that anymore you will take him someplace special at the end of the week or something. You might even want to sit down and have a heart to heart as to "why" he finds it so amusing and explain to him that it can actually cause serious problems in his throat. I know he's only 8 but 8 year olds are alot smarter than you might give him credit for. smile Good luck.."Kids"..ya gotta love em!! They really do say and do the darndest things!
Posted By: PDM Re: PARENTING ADVICE PLEASE!!!!! - 09/12/08 02:22 PM
He's only 3, actually.

And yes, regular vomiting can damage the teeth as well.

Distraction and reward, rather than reaction and distress, would be best, I think.
Posted By: 428pm Re: PARENTING ADVICE PLEASE!!!!! - 09/12/08 02:24 PM
you misunderstand, he's not 8...He's just shy pf 3 wink I don't think any heart to heart will be happening, lol. But still very good suggestions.
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