Regaining an Ex Girlfriend

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Me and this girl were best friends all through high school. I always had a thing for her and we had a connection. Our senior year we began dating.

About a year into the relationship we started hitting a rough patch. I had trust and jealousy issues. After the breakup just after a year of dating i broke off all connection because i didn't want to see her with someone else.

I'm constantly reminded of her and all the memories we had. After not seeing her in almost a year we started talking via text message. She invited me to a party at her house and for the first time in over a year me and my buddy went to see her. The nerves built and awkwardness arrived as she met us downstairs. As the night went on we talked laugh and she primarily stuck by my side. Later in the night we kissed held hands talked n laughed like old times. How ever we had also been drinking and i kept thinking its probably just the booze making her emotional.

We talked the next day and planned on hanging out later in the week. Full of emotions and being excited i wanted to talk about "us" before then and she told me she doesn't have those feelings anymore and it was just the alcohol.

To me things don't add up and i feel like she still has something there but is scared to start it again. I would do anything to get her back she was everything to me and I'm looking for any advice to help me try and win her back. Advice
Alcohol looses inhibitions - it doesn't create feelings where no feelings exist. The key though is that she's nervous and if you pressure her she is going to run away. Nobody likes to be in a relationship built on pressure.

Regain her trust as a FRIEND. Talk with her. Go to movies with her. Be there for her. Show her you are someone who is easy to talk with and fun to be with. Don't put any pressure on it, don't make any demands.

Over time, as you spend more and more time together, you will be proving to her in a tangible way that your time together is fun time, and that she would want to spend even more time with you in the future.

Good luck!


-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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