When she gets upset when you ask certain things, explain to her that you trust her and you're not accusing her of anything, you're just curious. When doesn't just 'ask' about certain things but accuses you or gets upset, explain to her that you love her, only her and no one else. Reassure her that you don't want anyone but her and you aren't going anywhere.
Then at a later time when you're both calm, sit down and discuss it with her. Tell her how it makes you feel when certain things are done, she'll more than likely open up and tell you what she's feeling when she does those things. You can both then come to a happy medium in compromise and understanding.