Not sure how I found this site and after I found it I needed to vent, but I'm guessing I need some real advice on what to do here.
My wife and i were friends for about a year-and-a-half before we were married. I won't lie when i say that it was love at first sight for me and those feelings grew the more I knew about her. We got married and she became pregnant with our daughter. Just before our daughter turned 1, my wife, at the time, got a job at a bar in downtown Ft. Myers, Fl. I could understand her need to get back to work and have some kind of life outside of the house and being full-time mom. I was making plenty of money and there was no need for her to work, but I could understand her need.
Just over a month after our daughter's first birthday my wife started going to work at 4pm as usual. She would get off at eleven and usually have a drink with a friend, then come straight home. That all changed. She started going to work at 4pm, but then not coming home until noon the next day. This happened over several weekends. She usually worked Thurs, Fri and Sat. Friday nights were her "stay out until the following day" nights. I couldn't take it. I tried talking to her about it. She would say "You told me you didn't want me driving if I had been drinking." Her place of business was right over the river. A quick 2 mile drive and I could have picked her up.
Anyway, one thing led to another. I never said anything hurtful. I tried convincing her that time would heal our love and even tried to get her to go to a marriage counselor. Too bad I didn't know the difference between a "Marriage Counselor" and a "Marriage Therapist" at the time. I would have made the appointment with the Therapist. They'll actually do all they can to resolve marriage issues where a Counselor will just say "Oh well." If anyone looked at our Wedding Album, you would see in her face, and agree with me, that she was happy.
The guy she left me for turned out to be addicted to all sorts of pills and cocaine and physically abused her several times. They are no longer together thanks to an intervention by her brothers. They didn't want to see me arrested for handling it myself.
Here it is, six years later. Sure, I've been mad at her, but overall, without any doubt in my mind, I am still in love with her. My daughter lives with me full-time during the school year. Her mother lives 3 hours away, still in Ft. Myers. Her family loves me and wants nothing more than for her to get back with me. My daughter's great-grandmother tells me that she the prays in church every Sunday for us to be together again. She's not presently with anyone, and has not been since the jerk who abused her got tossed from her life.
For the past year, we have been intimate on a regular basis. I rub her feet which she loves, and I do too. I usually hate feet, but I really love something about hers. Anyway, we've made love on many occasions, and almost regularly (every time we saw each other) up until a month ago when she got back on birth control which seems to have caused a hormone change which negatively affected her overall attitude. She lives 3 hours away from us. She works double-shifts at the restaurant she serves at. She's been drinking a lot. I think she's really depressed as well. She told us in March she was going to move in with us and find a job on the East Coast of Florida, but it has not happened yet.
I assure you that I am not deluding myself. I truly do love her. I lose sleep some nights. My daughter, now 6, wants nothing more than to see us back together again. She knows how deeply I love her mother, and her.
Where do I go from here?