Too bad she is no longer around. Otherwise, she was the only one I really loved very much and would have married her if she was still alive. I really don't want to say what happened to her since it's too painful to talk about it. All I can say is that it resulted from someone's own carelessness and disregard for others' welfare.
--i'm sooo sorry to hear that! i don't know what happened to her, but i can sense the pain in what you wrote--you almost made me cry. so whatever happened, i'm sorry for your loss--i know what it feels like to lose someone you love, although in my case, the circumstances were complicated and the person didn't die, i jut found out that he was something totally different than what i thought he was (i was blind throughout the relationship up until the end), and like you, he was my first kiss/first love too. so i just wanted to let you know that my heart goes out to you, and i'm sure you'll find someone special real soon--not to replace tanya, but to fill the gaps, you know? HUGS!