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#170932 - 04/17/07 11:22 PM Re: Can't get her out of my head [Re: abcdx]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Try to give this a bit more time.

Maybe an explanation would be good ~ expressing a hope that things don't have to be awkward and uncomfortable between you, but that you felt it necessary to tell her the truth and find out how she felt.

Be patient. You have been waiting a long time ~ a little longer might be good.
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"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#171093 - 04/18/07 02:34 AM Re: Can't get her out of my head [Re: PDM]
victor Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 01/19/06
Posts: 1347
OK - I can tell that I'm going to be the harshest one in the crowd, - but I would just CLOSE THE BOOK on your chapter with her.
I could be wrong, but I think she was trying to let you down easy - and thus her "no" was sort of a confusing no. She maybe thought it would hurt more if she just said, NO I think of you as a friend... so instead she came up with a different more convoluted answer about timing and never thought YOU would be interested in her, all those other girls, etc, etc. But to me that is a gentle let down.
Think of it the other way - if she had suddenly said to you that she had feelings for you - would you ever use some weird excuse like, well you always had a boyfriend so I never thought of you like that? It doesn't really work like that if you ask me. You are interested or you are not. I may be the cynic, but I'm going to venture that she is not interested - at least right now - or she would have said so. Just the fact that she said "sorry" to you about a million times means that she is saying "Sorry, but the answer is no.". I would just let it go. Stop going on line where she is - find some other place to go on line if that is what you are into. I'm a little older so I would tend to advise you to meet people in person the old fashioned way - but it appears lots of young people meet on line, so who am I to advise you otherwise - but please just let her go. If she comes crawling back to you begging to start an intimate relationship, then you can reconsider - but I would take her response as a no. Sorry to be harsh dude. That is just my opinion - but there are alot of fish in the sea who would like you attention.


Edited by victor (04/18/07 02:36 AM)

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#171117 - 04/18/07 04:05 AM Re: Can't get her out of my head [Re: victor]
Carl Offline
Silver Star Soulmate

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 5173
Loc: Gator Country, Florida - USA
I believe Victor may be quite correct.

May be time to get some of your friends together and have an impromptu party. Begin a new chapter.

Try something new. Audition for a part in Community Theatre.
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#171158 - 04/18/07 08:23 AM Re: Can't get her out of my head [Re: Carl]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
It's certainly time to live in the real world, with real people, instead of someone you don't know as well as you think you do, but have put up on a pedestal.

I agree about having a party or joining a club. If ever this girl ever becomes really interested in you, you might even find that the real person, behind the dream girl you have imagined, isn't even right for you after all.

If you do get in touch, to say that you don't want things to be awkward, try to make it sound relatively casual ~ and don't let her think that you are just sitting around pining for her.

Get out and do things ~ with real people.

(That's good coming from me ~ sitting here on my computer, talking to my 'cyber-friends'!)
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#173874 - 04/25/07 08:47 AM Re: Can't get her out of my head [Re: PDM]
abcdx Offline
New Member

Registered: 04/07/07
Posts: 12
Loc: UK
Hello everyone.

Well, it's been nearly a week now and I thought I'd just drop in a post to tell you guys/girls that I'm still alive and I haven't jumped off a cliff or anything like that.

Well, your probably wondering what's happened so far? Well... after I told her, nothing happened really. Didn't see/talk to her the next day. But the following day, she came online and came and said hello to me and asked me "how was I?" I just told her that I was "ok". We didn't talk much though. Then the following day or two (think this was on Friday), I sent her an email to basically tell her sorry that I told her what I told her but I felt I had to because... Umm, said a bit about how I really felt inside and ended up telling her goodluck with her b/f and that I just want her to be happy.
Well, I didn't get a response email or anything like that. But she did come online on Monday and she did come and talk to me again (started by sending me a smily emoticon). We kind of chat for a bit. I did try to talk normally as I would to her. We didn't talk that much though (she didn't stay online long) and we didn't talk about what had happened too.
I guess it's normal to try and talk to each other as we normally would because.. well, we didn't have an arguement or anything like that, right?

At the moment, I'm still trying to tell myself that she isn't the one, it's not meant to be and all that but I'm still in the loop hole where every morning when I wake up, my heart starts thumping (litterally) and she pops into my mind... -__-"
Last Friday, I went to play football with my group of friends (I think a lot of you will probably call it soccer?) and... I thought I nearly had a heart attack because my heart was beating so hard and my chest really started to tighten up. I'm a fairly fit person but since my heart's been "thumping" all the time though out the day. Running around on the football pitch makes it work even harder.... I think I'm getting a blood clot in my heart or something.

And I don't know if it's me or not but whenever I turn on the TV or the radio, there's always a sad song being played!? Anyone heard or remember that Micheal Bolton song "How Am I Supposed To Live..."? Go and play it or read the lyrics for it. That one really kicks me in the spot. >__<"

Anyway, just thought I'd drop you a post to say that I'm ok.

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#173880 - 04/25/07 09:14 AM Re: Can't get her out of my head [Re: abcdx]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Hi abcdx

Maybe you should pop along to the doctor for a check-up ~ just to be sure that it's only love that's making your heart pound ~ especially if you are going to get involved in sports.

You are doing well ~ keep up the good work.


Edited by PDM (04/25/07 09:32 AM)
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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#173895 - 04/25/07 11:54 AM Re: Can't get her out of my head [Re: PDM]
Coco's Mama Offline
Platinum Star Soulmate

Registered: 11/18/06
Posts: 7842
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Def. get your heart check my Mom has that same heart pounding, and tightness because of her age and that my father had a heart attack last year off to the Doctor Isent her, she has anxiety, a panic disorder related thing. It's not pleasant but better than a heart attack. And don't say you don't feel any stress around friends or other times, it doesn't have to be timed to the feeling at all, it can happen after stress or when you don't even feel that you are stressed but something is still lurking in the back of your mind.

I hope it is nothing serious.
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#174084 - 04/26/07 01:21 AM Re: Can't get her out of my head [Re: Coco's Mama]
victor Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 01/19/06
Posts: 1347
OK if we are going to name appropriate songs to think of - the one that really helped me along was the one called "closing time" - it was perfect for me -
the line:
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

I really liked that - and I met my partner when it was on the radio. loved it.

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#174105 - 04/26/07 01:46 AM Re: Can't get her out of my head [Re: victor]
Carl Offline
Silver Star Soulmate

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 5173
Loc: Gator Country, Florida - USA
Glad you dropped by. Here's something else, guy! You've gained some friends, here.

Ever heard one of the few slow songs by Johnny Horton, "All for the Love of a Girl"? I sing it in karaoke. Not that you have to stay in that mood, but the memories in your heart will bring new depth to the love in your future which will be returned.

Gotta good feeling about you, friend.
_________________________
Marge is the love of my life.

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#174508 - 04/27/07 10:04 AM Re: Can't get her out of my head [Re: Carl]
abcdx Offline
New Member

Registered: 04/07/07
Posts: 12
Loc: UK
Thanks everyone.

Don't worry. I've been in/had this condition before... (3 years ago). -_-"

The thumping heart condition is just from one of those deep emotional/dissappointed/heart broken conditions that's hidden in the back of my conscious mind and jumps up and supprises me when I wake up every morning.
(Note: if anyone's wondering what this condition feels like or is thinking of trying it out... don't. I can tell you that it isn't as fun as it sounds. Even if it's the second time round).

But... I'll get over it, if Someone doesn't play anymore games with me again. -__-"

Just like to say thank you again for your friendly comments and support + interest in my umm... problem(?). (From looking at the number of Views for this Subject).

Better stop writing now, otherwise I'll just keep on going. But as for Victor and Carl... umm... I think your songs "Closing time" and "All for the Love of a Girl" may have been a bit too early for my time or my area? But thanks anyway.
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"The Past, was just a Dream. The Future is, what is Hope. But the Present is, what is Reality."

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