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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2
New Member
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OP
New Member
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2 |
Hey, to introduce myself I am a 19 year old college student who, up until a couple of months ago, had been girlfriendless his whole life.
I met my girlfirned around February and we've been going out since then.
Our relationship is decent i suppose on the physical side. We kiss and cuddle and do all that whenever we're alone.
However, my problem is that personality-wise, she's terribly boring. At first I figured she was just shy perhaps, and that she'd open up to me... But I've seen her around her closest friends and she acts the same way.
She really indecisive, she works on school work ALL the time. I copliment her plenty and even surprised her with a couple of gifts randomly, but she has never even given me a single compliment throughout our time together. (I've given her plenty though :P)
I don't believe she's really going to change so I was just wondering if I should break up with her. I am quite extroverted and I do require some passion and excitement in my relationships. (Beyond physical I mean.) And I can't even talk to her really becaus all she ever says is "Yea," and "Uh-huh."
Whats holding me back is that I think all this, but when i'm with her I slip into a sort of comfortable and content physical feeling. Nothing major, no heart poundingness, just a decent feeling when I hold her close. I contribute this slightly to having been relationshipless for so long and me still experiecning the wonder of physcial touch with a female still. :P
So what should I do?
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,970
Best Friend
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Best Friend
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,970 |
Talk about how you feel about the relationship with her. Let her understand that she needs to open up. Just give it time.
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 22,697
True Blue Soulmate
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True Blue Soulmate
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 22,697 |
Hi fribjits
Welcome to the forum.
May I ask a question ~ Do you really like this girl, or do you just like having a girlfriend?
Do you ask her about her intereasts and about what excites her?
What, do you think, made her go out with you in the first place? What made you ask her out? What does she like about you?
Yes ~ get communicating.
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2
New Member
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OP
New Member
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2 |
To answer you're questions...
First of, sadly no, I pretty much am only glad to have a girlfriend. I can't say I enjoy HER company personally, just as the fact that it's my first GF. >.<
I did have a chat with her but she told me that she was basically just naturally shy and maybe she would talk more to me and maybe not. I find it hard to believe though that she'll break out of her shell. XD
I've asked her about her interests, what kind of things bring out the most passion in her life, but talking about things like passion and life and feelings in general to a bookworm like her is grating and awkward XD.
Thats about it for the Q'S ^^
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 96
Regular
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Regular
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 96 |
I feel that you are useing her to keep from being alone and in a way i think she may be picking this up you need to talk to her more get to know her and let her get to know you if she is that boreing then you need to tell her you need more action more spice perhaps you need to iniate it or something but a physical attration is shallow and boreing it gets old after a while be spontaneous do something new and get her to join in if she refuses then tell her the truth that you and her were just not meant to be together cause you need someone that is as outgoing as you and do not like to be held back I am sure there are plenty girls around that are like that.
my birds one Lutino Cockatiel (snowflake) and one Normal Grey Cockatiel (PrettyBird)
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 468
Great Friend
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Great Friend
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 468 |
You need to decide whether or not you are really happy with such a boring person.
~Sunshine and Pretty Boy (budgies) ~Ollie and Lennie (cockatiels)
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 22,697
True Blue Soulmate
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True Blue Soulmate
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 22,697 |
'Do you really like this girl, or do you just like having a girlfriend?' [PDM]
'sadly no, I pretty much am only glad to have a girlfriend. I can't say I enjoy HER company personally, just as the fact that it's my first GF' [fribjits]
No wonder you find her boring ~ you don't even like her.
'.. a bookworm like her ..'
Well. I'm a bit of a bookworm myself. I find 'bookworms' quite interesting, because they are always learning something new from their reading.
'We kiss and cuddle and do all that whenever we're alone.'
Why are you kissing & cuddling someone you don't like?
Sorry ~ I think that you are being very unfair on this girl.
Or ... Maybe she feels the same way you do???
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,347
Best Friend
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Best Friend
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,347 |
All of this makes me very glad I am no longer in the dating stage of life. Now that you have had a girl friend, why don't you move to the next stage of finding somebody you actually really like. I am depressed just reading about this. Relationships get so much better than the one you are describing - do both you and the girl a favor and put the relationship out of its misery.
One day, I predict, you will find somebody who interests you - whom you can communicate with, and be excited to be with -and you will know the difference.
As PDM alludes - the girl herself may be quite interesting - only not to you, but to somebody else. She also may not want to open up to you, but she may want to open up to somebody else. Or somebody else may love her for her quiet and demure manner. So in other words, you are doing her no favors by keeping her confined to you, when you aren't even interested in her anyways.
Move on.
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 146
Companion
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Companion
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 146 |
I line up on the side that says you are misusing this young woman.
In fact, you sound what some women might call a bit of a creep.
How do you think she would feel if you were to show her the posts you have written about her? How would you feel if someone you considered a friend had written that you were "terribly boring", a person whose company was unenjoyable, that talking to you was awkward and grating?
Hell, after writing down what you have written about this girl I think you're a creep.
Back to spending weekends at the Royal Palm Motel; leave this girl alone.
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 22,697
True Blue Soulmate
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True Blue Soulmate
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 22,697 |
Remember, you cannot insult other members of the forum.
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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