RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Breaking Up Two guys love me, and I love them both. Help? >_<

I will start by saying I met my husband through an online game.

That said, stay friends with both of them. Believe me, I understand just how well you can come to know people through the internet, and I believe that most people are actually quite honest (and if you talk to people for a while, you start to learn just how honest people are--this is no different than meeting strangers in real life.) Stay friends and, if you want, which you seem to, meet them as friends and only friends while bringing your own friends along. More than likely as time passes you will lean more towards one of them, and/or one of them will veer in different directions.

Since it seems you've already entered a "more than friends" relationship with one of them, I'm honestly not sure what would you should do. Were it I, I would probably let the boyfriend/girlfriend title stay (so as to not make him feel shut out) but act no different than if you were just friends. Since he may press for more, just don't go along with it and definitely don't do anything you might regret.

Hmm.. I know that really didn't cover much, but I don't want to start presuming things.



As an amusing side note, my dad actually called my then-friend/now-husband's commanding officer and asked about him. (yes, I was 17.) Kind of embarrassing, but I'm glad he did. It also helped my father be able to trust him more. I will also say that I've grown immensely from the already mature 17 year old I was (I am now 21.)

I'm intrigued Sal

I actually know people who have met via the Internet and are about to get married.

From this forum, I can get an idea of which members I feel that would get on with, and many of us do consider the others to be friends ~ but surely you need to meet and really get to know someone, before you can be sure that you are in love with them??

It's very hard to pick one or the other. You also would have to consider them. They are friends? It is a really tough situation. Trust me I have been there and still am. I know it is not somethind attentional and that it can just happen.
I have been with my boyfriend now for about 5 monthes. I love our relationship. We are there for each other. We are in no hurry to move in together. We want to take our time with our relationship. Let me also include that I'm 26 and he is 31. I met Robert through my ex. Both of them have been friends since they were 8. Trust me I did not want to ruin their friendship. I'm glad that they are still friends. My ex knows that he wasn't there for me and very selfish about many things. He also knows that both Robert and I are very happy together. My ex talks to both of us. He is friends with the both of us and has excepted our relationship. It is hard because at the beginning of Robert and my relationship my ex fought to point out our inperfections. Both Robert and I agreed not to talk to him for a bit. Now I can have a conversation with my ex without him saying anything bad about Robert. The same goes for Robert. It's nice that we can all get along with each other.
Trust me it is hard, but it is your choice on what makes you happy. You are still young so take your time. You don't want to jump into something you will regret.

To PDM, when does "like" turn to "love"?

I once thought I was in love when I was 13-14. I was head over heels for this guy, I couldn't go a day without seeing him, we'd talk for hours on end, I snuck out of bed in the middle of the night to talk to him, when he smiled it made me feel better, I laughed at all his jokes, every love song I heard sounded like it was written just for him and me, and when I started seeing him for who he really was (and that I wasn't his one and only,) my world collapsed and I became severely depressed. I was also wrong.

I thought I was in love, and I'd have argued tooth and nail with anybody who disagreed. Retrospectively, I was merely horribly infatuated with this guy.

I suppose it comes down to how we define "love." I like to think that the love I have for my husband is more "grown up" and I like to compare it to the love that I have for my family or the love that exists between couples who have been together for decades. Since I acknowledge that I'm still young and am reminded of this on a near-daily basis, I realize my notions will likely change with time.

I should mention that the first relationship I was in was 99% online. (Not 100% as I think he and I spoke on the phone once or twice.)

Whether a relationship is online or in the flesh, emotions are invested about the same either way. The only real difference is that online, you miss out on tone of voice, body language, and it's hard to have "dates" (not too much you can really do aside from chat.) On the contrary, people, for whatever reason, tend to be more willing to share things about themselves they might otherwise keep hidden, so in that sense, how to say... I suppose that online you see reflections or a personality, whereas in real life, that same personality might reflect differently. Since I was and I am still quite shy, this was a nice bonus for me.

I do agree, though, that while I may argue that it's possible to love an online persona, you can't REALLY love the person behind the persona until you meet and spend time with him.

I'm sorry if the above seems a bit jumbled, but I'm more expressing my thoughts on the topic than specifically trying to answer your question.

I met my husband on Match.com !!! I was 39 he was 45. He only lived 9 miles from me and our kids all grew up here and they were all in the same schools, ball camps, Scout events etc. I never saw him before. So, if it were not for the online thing I never would have met my baby !!!

I have also met men (if you can call them that) online in IRC and games that were total losers, liars, OMG like you all hear about.

I would be very cautious if I were this 17 year old, I DO KNOW you can NOT fall in love online. It is 99% fantasy what you have created in your mind about these 2 guys, when the real world hits it will be really painful for you, you will feel like such a idiot for falling like you have. My opinion.

I wondered too so I looked at her profile and her art page link, she left a journal entry on Jul 23, so I guess they did not kidnap her

Kids.... glad I am not one any more.

Good ~ I'm glad she's Ok.

Sal, it's just the online bit that I'm referring to.

I've been with my husband for about 32 years and I would say that I both like him and I love him. The best relationships ~ I think ~ are when the two go together.

On another thread, we have been saying how we feel that we are friends ~ sort of like penfriends ~ but I really can't believe that anyone can really know another person fully until they meet and get to know each other in person. And I think that this counts double when talking of falling in love.

However, I have heard of people falling in love online and I can't quite get my head around it.

I'm not sure that it is just my age either, as my kids think the same.

I'm glad things are going well for you1

Flip a coin?

where's coleslaw? is she alright you think?
I hope she is.