RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Dating I feel my relationship is in danger

Well it's over

We sat down and talked and cried together about it. She says over and over she shouldn't have never rushed into a new relationship without telling me in the beginning about their long turbulent history in the past.

She feels very very very guilty for breaking my heart and even though I can't have her... it makes sense that she can't be in a relationship with me and be the woman I want her to be while still in love with another guy.

She also says she can't be committed to anyone for a while until she gets over her old relationship.... and she says she hopes I'm still around when she's ready ( i doubt that) and says herself that I'll probably be long gone.

She also says she feels she's going to regret this later on down the road and will be kicking herself for it.

She hates herself right now because she broke my heart. I've never see her breaking down in tears like that...

I'm upset but in a sense glad there was some sort of ending to this.... because emotionally I'm so tired... I gave it my all but I guess it's not meant to be.

Thanks to everyone for your take on this matter.

I'm devastated because my birthday is a week away and well it's just not gonna be the same.

Piike

I'm sorry man. I do wish you luck in the future. You might just get lucky and find her again.

Just watch that movie called A Lot Like Love. It's cheezy but it's cute. If anything I will make you laugh. Either that or read some of Lorax's parakeet humor. hehe

I'm glad that you can admit it's a weight off your shoulders though. It takes alot to do that. I salute you and wish you the best in all!

I couldn't have said it better. Hope things turn up the future.


PS
I spent my birthday this year completely alone. I decided to make the best of it anyway--made myself a cake, sang to me, "ooh"d and "aah"d at my own gifts to myself (I got me a parakeet!) While you may not go to quite the extreme, I'd recommend it over wallowing, though it is hard.

What does she want from me??

She broke up with me the other day. I told her not to call me cause it hurts talking to her after what happened. So I try to move on and she calls twice after not hearing from me for 2days but I didn't answer... and this is what she had to say:


"Hey baby it's me. I know you told me not to call you... I'm just saying how much I miss you and love you and sorry I hurt you and hope you don't hate me and maybe one day we'll have another chance. I just need some time right now and I know you probably don't understand all that... you been so good to me and I love you and I'm not going to forget about you. I hope you're doing okay. Will you call me back and leave me a message? I love you."

I didn't call back so she called again 30mins later saying:

"It's me calling you again. I'm sorry cause I know you didn't want me to. I hope you're not mad... I just wanted to tell you again how sorry I am for hurting you the other day. I know you're hurting. I'm hurting too cause I love you so much and... I miss you.... there is gonna be another chance for us again... I promise. I just need this time... just give me the time... my mind is so stressed and... I just never meant to hurt you and I'm sorry okay? I hope you don't hate me... and please leave me a message cause I just want to hear your voice. Anyway... I love you okay? and I won't quit thinking about you... you're always on my mind. I hope you have a good day today."


So later that day I called her and left her a message stating I love and miss her too but breaking up with me and still calling me is "torturing me" and left it at that.

The anger in me wanted to say quit calling me and go be with that piece of [censored] that cheats on you every 5minutes... and that's another thing... when they were together ... She lost all her girlfriends because he was trying to sleep with them behind her back. He would take her cell phone when she wasn't looking and get their numbers and call them later. Or when they're all out he would fondle some of her friends while she wasn't looking.

Her friends stopped associating with her because he made them uncomfortable etc but when I came into the picture... her friends came back... well I guess she better get ready to lose them again if she goes back to him.

So it angers me that she still has feelings and whatever else towards him... but anyway my hurt is changing to anger and I'm seriously thinking about changing my number.

I don't want her to feel like every time she's sad she can call me like I'm some kind of spare tire.

What does she want from me now??

Aye, the sad truth of life. Females are like that.. they spit in your face and then try to clean it up and somehow expect you to forgive them. Yes, I'm female, but I'm a harsh judge nonetheless.

She does not know what she wants. IF you were to get back together, it's very likely that things wouldn't have changed one bit from how she was before, only you'd be even more hurt than before. People always want what they can't have, and it seems particularly when it comes to relationships.

I know I sound anything but comforting, but I think you'd be best off if you don't even respond to her... since you mentioned thinking about changing your number, you may instead want to ask the phone company to block hers instead.. it sounds like it would be less hassle overall.

I'm going to just not answer my phone when she calls... The good thing is I'm not dwelling on her as much...I'm thinking of the future.

I'm still hurting but I'm still standing if that makes any sense hehe.

While I feel that everyone has the right to love and be loved, I also believe that there are some people who bring hurt and despair to the partners who love them.

It seems that there are unfortunate people who, for whatever reason, simply cannot have a straightforward relationship.

If I were the mother of such a person, I would be hoping and praying that s/he would find a nice decent sensible loving person to settle down with; but, if I were the mother of that nice sensible person, I would be really hoping that s/he did not get mixed up with a confused and unsettling partner.

This girl needs guidance & counselling.

My vote is to not contact her back... you need to move on an she is weighing you down. It is better that you be alone for your birthday than be tortured and conflicted with her. There is nothing wrong with being alone... you have to be strong to realize that.

sal--that was a little harsh. being a female yourself you should know that this isn't true. women aren't evil creatures who seek to rub salt into people's wounds. this woman is clearly way too immature to be in a descent relationship. whatever issues she has, she needs to work out in therapy--you neither deserve nor have the obligation to be her punching bag/firing board/ whatever the bleep she wants from you. she's trying to have it both ways--keep the abusive bad boy she wants, while still having the good guy to run back to. you deserve better. i'm behind you 100% with the changing the phone number idea. do not call her again (my advice, i don't mean to sound like your mother )

well this story has taken a complete twist. I'll make a long story short since we just got hit by a hurricane.

I stopped calling her.

She call me a day later over and over til I answered.

She was saying how she's been dreaming about me all night etc... and wanted to see me.... she cried about how she hurt me... buckets of tears etc... and that being around that guy again... she didn't feel anything... she said she cared about him but she basically vented on him for the first time for all the things he did to her in the past and being in his presence made her realize that she really loved me but she was scared that I wouldn't forgive her.

Anyway I forgave her and she stated that, that was the type of closure she needed. He wants her back but she chose me.

So we made up and got it on 2days straight (lol) now she adores the hell out of me. It's just surreal...

as for her ex... well I have a feeling he'll linger around for a bit because to him it's just competition... she was just his trophy... but she was finally strong enough to stand up to him and let out all her anger on him that she held back for so long.


Woman are wierd =)