RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Does He/She Like Me? I need some advice.

Though you've probably heard this a thousand times, but I need some help. If this wasn't me I could probably see it for what it is and not what I would like it to be, but whatever.

Theres a girl I've been friends with for over 6 months and I had known her before because I worked with her. Well I didn't really think about her as anything but a friend till a few months ago because she had just got out of a relationship and I knew she still liked her ex. So I just stayed friends with her until about 4 months ago I asked her out. The first thing that she said was that she loved me as a friend and really didn' t want to lose me as one because like her last relationship it ended up being bitter. She said that she wanted to say yes, but she couldn't because though she knew she wasn't going to get back together she still couldn't give me her whole heart.

So I said I ain't going anywhere and if sometime she got over him and was still single to let me take her out. Well we kept hanging out as friends and about a month and a half later she said that she couldn't go out with me because I smoked and drove really bad (Not like a maniac with people but Ive nearly died a few times drifing and such) so I promised her I'd quit smoking and I'd work on my driving and I did both. Then a week or so later she was wondering on my religon and I really don't have one and she said that she wanted to know because if she did go out with me that was the first thing that her parents would want to know and they weren't going to like me as a Catholic. Well I could go to church, but I didn't see the point of going because that isn't much an issue with me and she agreed.
And thru this entire time we were really good friends she is really easy to make laugh and just fun to be with. Well I really didn't bring up going out or anything for the past month or so, but she did get me a birthday card and she said she loved me, but I can't tell if its like a friend love or more. Like when I text her or something now she usually ends it with, ttyl buddy.

Now I still talk to her about every other day but we both work at different places and I put in a lot of hours so I don't get to see her much. But like recently she doesn't really call me a lot or seem like she wants to hang out. Honestly all I want is an honest answer if she likes me or not. But she always does something that at least I would think she likes me more than a friend and then something to make me think thats all were gonna be. Im just kinda lost and was wondering on someone else's point of view.

You could ask her again then at least you'd know for sure well sort of. She seems kinda flirty I'd becareful if she hasn't said yes or no yet. I wouldn't say changing yourself for somebody is something you should have to do, but what you did was for the better. I'd wait a bit to see if she will talk to you, but not to long because if she does like your not going to want her to move on. But its ur call.

I guess she went out with somebody else for like a week but she never told me, I don't really know why I thought we were friends. But does anybody know a good way to get over someone. I honestly don't know cuz this happens to me all the time and I just get stuck dwelling on [censored] I know in my heart will never happen, but what else is new.

While I may be the least experienced person here for "breaking up" I have gone long periods of time away from my man (for instance, he's in Afghanistan right now.)

Best advice I can say is focus on other things in your life--distract yourself.

Thanks its just really hard to be around her because I don't know I can just see that she looks at me differently then anybody else I don't know what it means and the things shes said I don't know I give up.

I am probably the expert here on breaking up LOL, I am 45 female, married for 18 years divorced, married for 4 years now. Dated probably 50+ different guys in my life.... that may be a bad thing.

BUT, I can tell you that the "you smoke and drive bad" thing is a crock. Thats is what she told you but not the real reason she didnt want to go out. The religion thing is strange because catholics are more open these days to others. Sounds like another excuse kinda blame the parents. She sounds immature for making up excuses. I would move on and find someone not so judgmental of you.

Hi Bilco

I think it could be that she just likes you as a friend ~ as she says ~ but that it feels good to have you there, anyway, if she doesn't have a current boyfriend.


So why can't she go out with you?

She's still a bit in love with someone else.

You don't/didn't drive safely.

You smoke/d.

You aren't the right religion.

Her parents may not approve.


Well, maybe; maybe not.


I'd feel worried about going out with someone who didn't drive carefully and I'd have a real problem with someone who smoked. Coming from an RC family, I know that religious differences can still be mega-important ~ especially for parents ~ so she may be speaking truthfully.

On the other hand, she's hardly been excited to discover that you have given up cigarettes and hasn't encouraged you to go to church with her, so I'm guessing that they are all excuses. Or am I wrong?

If you want to know what she wants and thinks ask her ~ and tell her that you want the truth.

Otherwise, look for someone who might care a bit more for what you want, as well as what she wants.