RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Does He/She Like Me? Confused and in need of advice.

Hi

I dont usually post in forums like this but I am very confused.

When I see this guy who I've been seeing for a month, he says he likes me and he acts like he does.

Then we are both on a certain networking site and he added me as a friend on that and I can see that he has added applications that are for single people and he is actively clicking on people like he is on the lookout.

We arent a couple totally but we are going out to get to know each other and he has not mentioned anyone else or liking anyone else. But then he knows all I have to do is look at his page and I can see what he is getting up to. Not that I know what he is doing but he has added another girl he met on a singles application as a friend. He may be just looking for more friends.

I dont want to ask him and accuse him as its not like we are a total couple or anything but I dont know I just feel like he is with me but looking for better and then when he gets better he will go to someone else. Ive been cheated on before and its not nice but hes been cheated on to or so he says so I dont know whether he is being cheater. He is so nice and funny otherwise.

What do youse lot think?

from Jen

Hi Jen & welcome.

If you have been going out with someone for a month, even though you may not yet be serious, I would say that it was a bit iffy for your boyfriend to be looking into singles and adding new girls he doesn't know to his list.

Why do this?

Yet he isn't doing it behiond your back! He knows that you know.

Maybe he's looking for a reaction.
How much does she care?
Does she like me enough to be jealous??

A month isn't long, but it's long enough to be able to talk to each other a bit.

Why not just ask him.
You could say that you have seen him looking out for other girls and were wondering about it.

Good luck.

Hi,

Thank you so much for your reply. I really appreciate it.

It turns out he was being a player. He doesn't know I know, but I kept seeing all the things he was doing, so when we met up, I wasn't being like a girlfriend to him, just a friend. He then said it wasn't working out between us as he had so much on that he doesn't have time for a relationship.......then he went straight ahead and upped his 'looking'. Nice huh?! So he obviously just wasn't that into me, but like I said, was with me till someone better came along.

Doesn't give me a confidence boost and makes me feel worthless. He used the things I hate most about myself as the reasons not to be with me.

Worst thing? I still care for him. Still hope. Still dream. He still flirts.

I just need to cut him out of my life, but I can't seem to bring myself to do that.

Thanks for listening to me though. It has been a lot of help.

Hi Jen

You are not the only person that this has happened to. Others on the site have said similar things. It can happen to both boys and girls.

The sad thing is, you can't help who you care about, but you know, deep down, that he is not right for you and that you would never really be happy with him.



Think about it this way ~

Why should the opinions, criticisms, etc, of someone who behaves as badly as he does count for anything?

Why should someone like that make you feel worthless?

How can the words of someone who treats girls like trophies make you feel so bad?

Do you see that there is no logic in this?
His opinions are not valid.

Now, onto something more serious:

You should not be feeling 'worthless' anyway.
I am concerned that you should feel this way and that you talk about 'the things I hate most about myself'.

I don't know what these 'things' are, and you may not wish to discuss them on an open forum, but I can tell you that no-one is perfect and most people are aware of their own shortcomings.

Some let all this get to them more than others, and get into a cycle of guilt and depression ~ especially if they are upset after being badly-treated by an ex-boyfriend (or girlfriend).

Don't let this happen to you. If there is something seriously bothering you, then talk to someone you trust ~ your Mum or a school counsellor, perhaps.

Rather than worrying about whether you can cut him out of your life, find something else to take your mind off him ~ a new hobby, or sport, or read a good book, or go to the cinema, or go swimming, or bowling, etc, with friends, or have a lovely family time.

Give your mind something else to think about, so that you don't let him ~ and your own supposed shortcomings ~ take over your thoughts.

I think that, perhaps, you are a teenager?
Remember, hormones, etc, are affecting you as well ~ so try not to let things get to you. When the hormones settle down , you will probably be fairer and easier on yourself.

Take care!