RomanceClass Forum Logo

all ads on this forum support charities
Forum Areas
Non-Romance Relationships
Does He/She Like Me?
Dating
Long Term Partners
Breaking Up
Health and Exercise
Organizing and Cleaning
Stress Reduction

This Ad Supports Charity
Support Our Friends
The Child Health Site
Page 1 of 5 1 2 3 4 5 >
Topic Options
#337422 - 11/13/08 05:49 AM Which tempation do I give in to?
Ritsuka Tommy Offline
Companion

Registered: 02/27/08
Posts: 126
Ok, Raven is back everyone! Sorry that I've been gone for so long, but there are some things in my life that I had to deal with on my own.

Right, now getting to my thread. It's basically summed up in that question, "Which temptation do I give it to?"

For those who do not know, I'm a so called "Emo" person. Yes, emos that cut themselves and that kind of stuff. I've made progress by not hurting myself for a couple of months, but not too long ago I took a pin and created two scars across my wrists. They didn't bleed or sting, but the marks are there to remind me of what I did. Sometimes I feel so alone, pathetic and unloved that I just want to hurt myself so I can feel some kind of emotion. I fight the temptation, but I don't know how much longer it will be before I snap!

Now that that's said... So, my boyfriend and I will be nine months together tomorrow! I'm so excited! Our relationship was a bit rocky for the past two/three months, which ended up in him threatening to break up with me and me becoming emotionally scarred. But we've managed to sort things out between us and are quite happy together. Yesterday was the first time he said 'Goodbye' and 'Ilove you' in the same sentence. He usually doesn't tell me he loves me THAT upfront. But I'm glad for it.

The thing is, I tend to dream about him a lot. And not in a very good way either. Let me explain this one dream that I kept on having every night:

I wake up lying on cold ground. I sit up, cross-legged in my nightdress and reach out towards a vision, only for my fingers to collide with a rough, glass wall that makes me bleed. Looking through the glass, I see my love running from the shadowy form of evil beings. Whips and blades come from the shadow mass and strike him down, piercing him, making him pour his own life force. Then he lay motionless. I try to break the glass wall, but to no avail. I have failed to protect him, failed to help him when he needed me the most...

These dreams scare the life out of me. If I have these dreams, I'm nervous to see him the next day. When I do, I start panicking. I ask if he is alright and if he's hurt. The answer is always no, but this fear of not being able to be his 'guardian angel' is driving me insane. Do these dreams mean something, or is it just my fear of losing him that is taking over my mind?

Yesterday, he showed me his exam writing paper. In there, it stated many things that I was unaware of:
- His parents fight a lot
- He smoked marijuana in his grade 8 and 9 years of high school
- There is this other girl he likes more than a friend (thank God she's not in the same city of us)

This worries me quite a lot. The fact that his parents fight kills me, because he doesn't deserve to be in the middle of it and doesn't need to see it happening! Ok, so my parents of divorce. It took me almost three years to accept it. I don't want him to go through what I did. But if it does happen (and God say it won't) I am prepared to help him. The fact that he smoked marijuana doesn't bother me at all. Ok, so we all make mistakes. I don't judge him because he did it, but what kind of person he is now is almost like that drug was never in him (trust me, I know. I know far too many people that take drugs and stuff). And lastly, this girl really gets to me. I'm super-sensitive when it comes to 'sharing' him because of my fear of losing him and all the multiple times I came close to losing him. But... I don't know. What am I supposed to do? I can't tell him how to feel, but I don't want him to feel guilty because he feels my bad vibes.

Everything that happened in the past three months is really taking its toll on me: physically. If I get any scars, they take weeks to disappear. My body bruises easily and sometimes I'm covered in blue marks. I'm always tired and my legs give in under me a lot to the point where I can't walk and (to my dismay) need to be carried. I don't eat and sometimes need to be force-fed. I'm scared that I might go into a state that will bring my boyfriend down. He already tells me that I need to eat more and things like that. What am I to do? I'm on vitamin tablets, but I can't stay on it forver.

Sorry, it's quite a long post and a real twisting story.
_________________________
"My name is my law"

Top

Add Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Which tempation do I give in to? Add Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337429 - 11/13/08 08:43 AM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Ritsuka Tommy]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Hello again Raven. smile
It's good to hear from you, but I'm sorry that you have been going through some rough times.

I'll have to be brief because I have to go out, but I'll get back to you later.

For now ..

Re the dream. I think that they are more to do with the dreamers fears and worries than about anything that is really real. Worrying about them won't help. They are bound to be upsetting, but many of us have scary upsetting dreams. The best thing, I think, is to just accept that some dreams can be negative, but that they are just dreams. You are probably having them because you are feeling down and confused. Try not to let them get to you.

Now, the scratches you made on your arms. Again, try to look at the positive. You say that you are making progress. Be proud of that important fact, rather than worrying about this blip.

All relationships have ups and downs. Your boyfriend says he loves you. There is another girl he likes. Does he know that you saw this information? The thing is, many people like other boys / girls (or men / women) when they are in a relationship. People cannot help being attracted to others or to getting on well with others. It's what they do about it that counts. He says that he likes this girl more than a friend ~ so I can, indeed, see your concern. You are bound to feel sensitive aboiut it. Any girl would. However, he says that he loves you. It is you he spends his time with. Have you discussed this particular matter with him?

The best thing you can do for him is be there for him. You cannot sort out his parents' problems. You can only be there if he needs to talk about it. You know that it would help him to see you as healthy as you can be, so look after yourself.

It's good that you are taking vitamins. You know, though, that you need adequate nutrition. If you cannot stomach huge meals, then eat little snacks as often as you can. Try to make them healthy and easily-digestibe, like fruit and vegetables. Try to eat some fish every day. Build up gradually.

Take care smile
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337498 - 11/13/08 12:50 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: PDM]
Ritsuka Tommy Offline
Companion

Registered: 02/27/08
Posts: 126
Thanks for not jumping down my throat about me cutting/striking myself. Guess you understand me better than most people. If my boyfriend knew about it, he'd break up with me

I want to discuss the matter with him as soon as I can. You see, he like this girl before we met and he says he might even love her. I mean, how the heck am I supposed to feel? I've been betrayed by my own mother and now he's going to do the same?!

I will always be there for him, no matter what happens between us. I will always be his protector and comforter, even if we may not be together one day.

You just read my mind. I CAN'T stomach huge meals. But even small ones make me nauseous. I get nauseous on just about everything as of late. Is something wrong with me?
_________________________
"My name is my law"

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337522 - 11/13/08 02:07 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Ritsuka Tommy]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Hi Raven smile

When you feel tense, it is hard to eat. It's pretty much the same for everyone.

You must be feeling tied in knots about this boy and his confused feelings for you and the other girl. This will affect your ability to eat. Try very small portions of fruits and vegetables that you like. Just a little, as often as you can. Juices, too.

It's good that you still feel so positive towards him. After all, he cannot help who he likes and connects with. This happens on a subconscious, not a conscious, level. He is obviously very fond of you.

What the future holds for your relationship, I cannot know. You are very young, and usually people do not stay with their first loves ~ but sometimes they do, and that is very special. Remember, though, that if you drift apart it is meant to be, and that forcing yourselves to stay together would make both of you unhappy long term. Just see how it goes and try not to let worry get in the way of enjoying your relationship.

If anyone tries hard not to do something, they very often will do it. That's how the brain works. If someone is on a weight loss diet, they will be more drawn to fattening food than if they just allow themselves to eat whatever they want. Worrying about those scratches will not make things better for you, so it's best to just accept that it happened, but be grateful and pleased that you have conquered this as well as you have. Your boyfriend would get upset because he cares.

What are your hobbies?
What are you good at?
Are you an artist?
Concentrate on the positives in your life. Acknowledge the negatives ~ otherwise they will just push into your mind anyway ~ but then go back to things that make you feel good. Positive music. Painting / drawing. Picking flowers and arranging them. Anything like that.

In fact, I would really recommend planting flowers and shrubs and tending them. Tending new life, like this, is therapeutic and the results are beautiful and positive. You could even try growing fruit and vegetables for yourself. (Protect them from pests, don't use anything poisonous on them, and only eat things that you recognise and are safe.)

Take care smile
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337526 - 11/13/08 02:35 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: PDM]
Ritsuka Tommy Offline
Companion

Registered: 02/27/08
Posts: 126
At this moment in time, I've been tied up, cut up and sewn loosely back together... so I don't really know how I feel. Sometimes I'm deeply in love, and then I break out crying. Then I'm totally calm, and the next minute I want to take my blade and hurt someone. The problem is that somtimes the most small thing can trigger a different response in me.

When I love someone, it's difficult for me NOT to feel positive towards them. The probelm is that I'm scared his love for her will outgrow mine. He said he had a dream about them getting married. And to put it straight, I got dam ticked off. I mean, how else am I ought to feel?

I try and concentrate on positive things. I love art and writing, and that's what I do when I feel emotionally frustrated or confused. At this moment I'm working on a card for him for our anniversary tomorrow. But I don't know if he will like it. On the card is an animated picture of me wearing a black and red dress (similar to what I will wear to my matric ball) and creating a heart with my hands. But... I don't know. He'll probably just laugh at it and throw it away... So should I give it to him?

Positive music doesn't work on me. I often drown myself in rock, all kinds of metal, punk and trance. Sometimes the aim of me listening to trance is to put me into a trance. It does at times and makes me feel a bit better.

As far as growing plants go, I can't do that. I don't have a garden with the riht soil and have no money to get the correct things.
_________________________
"My name is my law"

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337533 - 11/13/08 03:02 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Ritsuka Tommy]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Raven, I think you said that you had a counsellor or therapist?
If you feel that you have 'been tied up, cut up and sewn loosely back together' at the moment, then perhaps now would be a good time to get a little more support from them.

I understand how you feel regarding this boy's revelation about the other girl. I think that anyone would. It is going to be a difficult time for you. He probably feels confused too.
Does he see this girl often?
Do you know how she feels about him?

As for the dreams ~ whether yours or his ~ they are just that ~ dreams. I know that they can affect how one feels, really profoundly, but reality is more important.

Try to talk to your boyfriend as much a you can about this, so that there is no misunderstanding between you. smile
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337535 - 11/13/08 03:06 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Ritsuka Tommy]
Carl Offline
Silver Star Soulmate

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 5173
Loc: Gator Country, Florida - USA
I'm glad that PDM is establishing rapport with you, Dark Raven. I wouldn't want to jump down your throat about your cutting/striking yourself, or taking your blade to hurt someone.

And yet, I am concerned about YOU.

I don't want to get in the way of your conversation with PDM, but I didn't want you to think that others of us on here were not caring about you, also.

I am hopeful that you will consider talking with a professional counselor - someone who will not judge, but care enough to help.
_________________________
Marge is the love of my life.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337555 - 11/13/08 04:30 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Carl]
Ritsuka Tommy Offline
Companion

Registered: 02/27/08
Posts: 126
To ma'am PDM:

I can't visit my social worker at the moment because I'm in the middle of exams. I can't afford to spill my guts to her right now because I'm scared of going into a breakdown again. And at the moment I can't fall into a breakdown because it's going to affect my studying.

Well, she lives in a different city. To be honest, I DON'T want to know how she feels about him. And I really don't care either. If she dares to try and take him away from me... my ugly side is going to come out. And trust me, you don't want to see me like that because I end up hurting a lot of people... physically. I almost strnagled my best friend once. That was the last time I became so violent.

I'm going to try and talk to him face-to-face as soon as I can. But with both of us writing exams, it's kind of difficult.


To Carl:

You're not getting in the way. I'll accept any kind of helpful advice/support from anyone. So don't feel like you're barging in, because you aren't.

Like I told ma'am PDM, I'm unable to see my social worker right now. But I promise to talk to her as soon as I can.
_________________________
"My name is my law"

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337561 - 11/13/08 04:55 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Carl]
Amaggiepie Offline
Great Friend

Registered: 12/23/07
Posts: 468
Loc: Baltimore, MD
I agree with Carl about having someone to talk to, and just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone. I started SI-ing (self injuring) when I was 10 years old, and I still do. Its not that I want to kill myself, because I never cut deep or want to die when I cut, but for me its an emotional release. I went through a very abusive marriage, and even though its over with now, and I have a daughter and wonderful boyfriend, the scars are still there. When my boyfriend and I get in an argument, its like my emotions and even physical sensations shut down; I disassociate. Its a defense I learned from being abused I guess, because when this happens, I really can't feel anything. I go numb. When Im like this and I SI, I don't feel the pain of the cuts, but it helps to bring back my senses. Its a way to ground myself again.

I have been through therapy and the medications but everyone has good times and bad ones. Really, in the end, it is up to you to control your life. I have a normal happy life now with a good job and family, my own place, and my daughter, even though I have depression and SI problems.

It doesn't mean you are crazy or that people will judge you. And my boyfriend knows I SI and has seen me do it, and although he hates to see me hurt myself, he still loves me for me.

I hope everything works out for you.
_________________________
~ Maggie
Mama to Juliana Elise (03/07), Wesley Dominick (06/10) and four feathered 'tielbabies!

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337567 - 11/13/08 05:20 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Amaggiepie]
Carl Offline
Silver Star Soulmate

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 5173
Loc: Gator Country, Florida - USA
Are there self-help groups for SI?

I have gone through periods of time where my self-destruction was taking the route of heavy drinking. And I have caused myself and others a lot of pain.

So I do not judge nor look at others as so very different just because the outward signs are different.

But bottom line is still: how much do you have to hurt yourself and others that you love before you say: "Enough! I cannot break free of this by myself. I need help."

The fact that you are posting is a good sign. It is a step toward finding a better way.
_________________________
Marge is the love of my life.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337573 - 11/13/08 06:02 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Ritsuka Tommy]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Originally Posted By: Dark Raven
To ma'am PDM:
I can't visit my social worker at the moment because I'm in the middle of exams. I can't afford to spill my guts to her right now because I'm scared of going into a breakdown again. And at the moment I can't fall into a breakdown because it's going to affect my studying....

Yes, I do understand that. You have to hold yourself together until you can give yourself permission to talk about it and allow yourself to feel all the emotion.
But don't let yourself get too stressed.
Try doing relaxation exercises and deep breathing.
Lavender oil can be very soothing in many ways.
I'm pleased that you intend to talk to someone. A problem shared is a problem halved. smile
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337574 - 11/13/08 06:04 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Carl]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Originally Posted By: Carl
... But bottom line is still: how much do you have to hurt yourself and others that you love before you say: "Enough! I cannot break free of this by myself. I need help."...

Yes, it's important to know when the time has arrived to really get help.
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337631 - 11/14/08 08:57 AM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Carl]
Amaggiepie Offline
Great Friend

Registered: 12/23/07
Posts: 468
Loc: Baltimore, MD
I think that the only kind of help for SI, at least where I am, is counseling. And unfortunatley, the last time I was in counseling, when my therapist found out that I SIed, she wanted to put me in some kind of mental hospital for suicidial behavior. She compeltely misunderstood my behavior for suidial behavior. Since, I have never gone back to therapy.

It would most liekly be helpful, but I can't get over the fear that the one person I am supposed to be able to talk to freely will judge as soon as they hear that I SI.

I definately think I am a lot better than when I was younger, because the occurrances now are rare, and when it does happen it is less severe. I know that might sound odd, but really it is. The cuts are much smaller, not at all deep, and usually I don't use anything to cut, but I will just scratch at myself with my fingernail. I have definately improved, but I feel like this is just a part of how I deal with things. There is also a forum for SI, and frankly, when I looked at some of the posts, especially those about how and why people SI, i made me feel a lot more normal because some of the things there people were saying seemed way off for me.

I hope that one day I will have a better way to deal with stress, or hopefully less stress to deal with.

I don't usually advertise this about myself, but I just wanted Raven to know that she's not alone in having these feelings.
_________________________
~ Maggie
Mama to Juliana Elise (03/07), Wesley Dominick (06/10) and four feathered 'tielbabies!

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337636 - 11/14/08 09:15 AM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Amaggiepie]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Originally Posted By: Amaggiepie
.... I don't usually advertise this about myself, but I just wanted Raven to know that she's not alone in having these feelings.
I think that this is very brave and supportive of you. I'm sure that it will be appreciated.

As for counsellors, etc. ~ yes, I do understand. I have found that some are brilliant and others do more harm than good, unfortunately.
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337641 - 11/14/08 09:33 AM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: PDM]
Carl Offline
Silver Star Soulmate

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 5173
Loc: Gator Country, Florida - USA
I am currently reading Richard Paul Evans' The Gift. The protagonist has Tourette's Disease, tics, and in addition, has urges to cut himself. He carries in his pocket paper money that he has removed from his wallet and folded so there are sharp creases and points. So, when he feels the urge, he presses his hand or finger to a point.

I, also, understand that some counselors might overreact.

Learning to cope is a good thing, I'm thinking. Yet, only the person can know if he or she is really coping, or losing hope.

Sometimes we resist change not just from fear of rejection or of mockery but simply because we dislike the inconvenience. Change just seems hard.

But once change, that one knows in one's gut needs to be done, is started, you feel better almost immediately.

And beginning to talk about it is the beginning of change.

So good for you!
_________________________
Marge is the love of my life.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337687 - 11/14/08 01:22 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Carl]
Ritsuka Tommy Offline
Companion

Registered: 02/27/08
Posts: 126
Thanks to all three of you for you advice, loving auras and support.

Well, my social worker called me into her office today, just to check up on me. Ok, so I told a little white lie and said I was fine because I didn't want her to worry and I didn't want to work myself up. Not now of all times. Surely that can be understood?

Good news. My scars are almost completely gone! The sooner they go, the better.

It's a shame the two of us couldn't celebrate our 9 month anniversary together today. Both of us were bogged down by exams. I might be able to drag him away from his studies for a bit on Sunday. I'm going to a real peaceful garden and I'd like it if he would join me. Well, I gotta ask my dad first and then ask him. Hopefully I'll be able to see him.

Things between us were great today, even though we only saw each other for a few minutes. I really enjoy his aura, good and bad. I can see something is bothering him, but I don't want to force it out of him. Today he asked me if I was still angry at him when I heard he liked another girl. I was honest and said that I was still a bit angry. He didn't take it harshly though.
_________________________
"My name is my law"

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337698 - 11/14/08 02:08 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Ritsuka Tommy]
Carl Offline
Silver Star Soulmate

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 5173
Loc: Gator Country, Florida - USA
Celebrations should fit your circumstances anyway. If y'all talked, then that was celebrating the moment, you know.

Take it one day at a time.

Gotta tell you what I think, though. There may never be a time when you don't want to worry your social worker and are not concerned about working yourself up.

That is, unless you decide that maybe you might be conning yourself a little. Despite what they say, love doesn't make everything better. Sometimes we have to make choices that are not easy.

You will do what you think is right and what you want for yourself. I urge you, however, to consider that your thinking might be skewed by not wanting to look too closely at yourself.

I hope you're not feeling attacked. That is not my intention. But I don't want you to wonder at some point in the future - why didn't people tell me the truth?
_________________________
Marge is the love of my life.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337700 - 11/14/08 02:28 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Carl]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Yes, Raven, though I completely understand why you don't want to get into deep discussions with your social worker, until your exams are over, Carl is right, too, that sometimes, because we don't want to face our problems, we may keep finding reasons to put off dealing with them.

If you are feeling negative, then you may need support, and you need it when you need it, not when the invigilators decide that the exams are finished. I know that you know this, but Carl is right that 'There may never be a time when you don't want to worry your social worker and are not concerned about working yourself up.' So be careful and get help when you need it. That is what she is there for. You might even do better in your exams with her support ~ had you thought of that?

You could have told her that there actually is something you need to discuss with her, but that you don't want to get involved in deep discussions while the exams are on, because you need to concentrate on them for the time-being and not risk getting over-emotional.
In fact, you could still tell her this.

I'm not usually in favour of lies ~ even white ones ~ they often come back to bite you. smile But you must do what you think is right. Just take all the concern and advice on board and do take care of yourself.

I'm glad that your scars are healing, and hopefully they will be the last, since you are doing so well smile Well done!

Congratulations on your 9 months with your boyfriend. I hope that you can go from strength to strength. You obviously have a strong bond between you, in spite of your concerns.

And good luck with the exams! I hope that they are going well.
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337713 - 11/14/08 03:08 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: PDM]
Ritsuka Tommy Offline
Companion

Registered: 02/27/08
Posts: 126
To Carl:

Don't worry. I didn't take this as an attack. I'm quite open-minded.

I just didn't want to tell my social worker today otherwise it would bug me the whole weekend. I just really need to concentrate and shut all my emtional levels down, just so that I can study. This exam... it's really important for me. This is my chance to prove my worth to me father, so you can imagine why I don't want anything to get in the way.

Sometimes I look a bit too closely at myself that it scares me. It's then that I back away a bit too far and not see myself at all. You see what I mean? It's confusing.


To ma'am PDM:

I have thought about that speaking to her might make me concentrate better, but I don't want to risk it that it might not make me feel better. I will, however, let her know that I would like to see her for an indepth discussion sometime soon.

I hate lies and white lies too, but sometimes I need to use them just so that I can heal myself a bit.

Thanks for the positive reinforcements ^^ They really do help.
_________________________
"My name is my law"

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337716 - 11/14/08 03:30 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Ritsuka Tommy]
Ritsuka Tommy Offline
Companion

Registered: 02/27/08
Posts: 126
Just another thing. Lol, you can sue me for double-posting later XD.

My boyfriend told me that the people at the clinic suggest he go to boarding school because he fights too much with his parents. He says they can't make him go, but i asked he he had other options. He said I has nowhere else to stay if that happens. And then a crazy suggestion came from me... Why doesn't he come and stay with me for a while?!

Ok, that was really crazy, but I don't want him to go away. I don't know how my dad would feel about it, but I would really like it if he came to live with us for a bit.
_________________________
"My name is my law"

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337722 - 11/14/08 04:37 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Ritsuka Tommy]
Carl Offline
Silver Star Soulmate

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 5173
Loc: Gator Country, Florida - USA
I don't know enough to truly understand. I don't know your boyfriend, his parents, your dad - even you. But I think it is too soon for major changes.

You are not wanting to open up to the social worker because of your need to study for exams, which is to make your Dad proud of you.

And you are not talking to your boyfriend or your Dad (I'm guessing) about all that is going on with you.

The feeling that I'm getting is that the talking - with all of them, at varying levels - is going to be the way that you get to a happy medium.

By that, I mean at a coping level - where you can look at yourself without cringing but not forget you are there, either.

It might be that the worries you sense with your boyfriend might be more about concerns for you than you know.

Take your exams, and then take the step which will start to make you happier with yourself.
_________________________
Marge is the love of my life.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337755 - 11/14/08 07:03 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Carl]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Would your boyfriend prefer to stay with his parents, in spite of the arguments?
Or would he be happy to go to boarding school?
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337871 - 11/15/08 03:45 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: PDM]
Ritsuka Tommy Offline
Companion

Registered: 02/27/08
Posts: 126
Thanks for the advice Carl. It's much appreciated.

Ma'am PDM, I'm no sure how he feels about it.

But... what my boyfriend told me today tore me up inside. He said in a SMS: "Sometimes I dream, sometimes I wish and sometimes I pray to be with [insert girl's name]." How is this supposed to make me feel?! To be honest, I don't know how I feel. Confused might be the proper word. My emotions are mixed: love, depressed, rage. Like I pointed out before: I'm really sensitive when it comes to him. But I mean... this make me feel kinda worthless... I don't know what to do or what to say!!!

Everyone, I really need your help. I... I feel like slitting my wrists! I WANT to do it... I want to see my own blood run.

Am I really that worthless? I don't feel as though I am worth anything. I just want to die so that everyone can live happier lives. My boyfriend wouldn't have to put up with me: It's obvious that I'm burdening him and putting too much pressure on him. My dad wouldn't have to worry about me and paying school fees and such. My mother would have me completely out of her life.

I don't know... I want to give up. I've been fighting for too long now. I can't do this alone... but no one is willing to fight alongside me. I was tempted to take my craft knife and cut myself.

I want to cry... but I can't cry now...
_________________________
"My name is my law"

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337893 - 11/15/08 07:11 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Ritsuka Tommy]
Carl Offline
Silver Star Soulmate

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 5173
Loc: Gator Country, Florida - USA
You don't know me, and have no reason to trust me. Nonetheless, I am talking straight to you, and I hope you will listen now. Things are NOT as obvious as you think. When we are down emotionally, everything we see seems to be taking us down.

Some of them are, true. But not all. And whether the things around us are negative or not, YOU are worth more than this.

You are not worthless. And we are on your side. And so you are not alone. As far as fighting alonside you, first you have to fight. By fighting, I mean you have to decide to seek professional help.

That, in my opinion, has to come first before anything else - school, exams, boy friend, parents, anything.

We care!
_________________________
Marge is the love of my life.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337904 - 11/15/08 09:53 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Carl]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Hello Raven. smile
Yes. The time has come.
Exams are not as important as you are.
You must speak to someone who can help and support you through this.
You need your social worker / counsellor now.
Can your father help, too?
You cannot concentrate on exams properly, anyway, feeling like this.
You are not worthless. You are a decent caring girl who needs to be loved and appreciated ~ not just by others, but by you, yourself.

People care about you. You need to be positive and you need support so that you can become more positive.
You are not alone.

You are not the only teenager feeling as you do.

I'll let you into a secret now (I may have told you some of it before smile ). When I was a teenager, I suffered a lot with depression. I never cut myself. However, I used to make my mother remove all sharp objects from my bedroom at night, because night-time was the worst time for my depression and I was scared of what I might do.

When I suffered depression as an adult, I used to think that I couldn't bear it if life continued to be like that ~ teetering on the edge of a black hole.

But I also knew that life would not continue like that ~ and I was determined to see the light at the end of that tunnel.

I still get depressed at times ~ and it is extremely scary, but it passes.

I am guessing that 'cutting' is somehow related to depression.
It could be related to the things that have happened in your past.
It could be related, also, to teenage hormones / teenage depression / teenage angst.
You are not going to be the only person going through such things, but you may be more sensitive & vulnerable than most.

But the light is there at the end of that tunnel for you too.
With the help that you need, you can sort yourself out and have a very happy and successful life.

I am sorry about what your boyfriend has said.
It is possible that he has almost 'invented' a dream girl, because real life is so complicated for him.
But if this is a genuine friendship, that they have, then he could be becoming very fond of her, even though he cares a lot for you.
This sort of thing happens in teenage relationships.
Hopefully yours can take the strain, but, if not, you must not think that this is anything specifically negative about you; it is just the way of the world with young love.

Take care of yourself, Raven. smile
Does your social worker help you in the way that you would wish?
If not, then please make sure that you tell her everything.
She cannot help you with things that she does not know about.

We care about you.
We want to hear that you are doing well and getting help. smile
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337950 - 11/16/08 12:24 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: PDM]
Ritsuka Tommy Offline
Companion

Registered: 02/27/08
Posts: 126
I can't ask my father for support. He'll get mad at me if he knew everything that was going on and he would take my boyfriend away from me.

The reason I cut myself is because I can handle physical pain better than emotional pain. I've been hit and thrown many times, so I've become quite immune to physical hurt.

Dream girl or not, just thinking about it ticks me off to the point of me trashing my room.

I'll tell SOMEONE everything as soon as I can. My best bet is Tuesday.
_________________________
"My name is my law"

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337954 - 11/16/08 01:25 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Ritsuka Tommy]
Carl Offline
Silver Star Soulmate

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 5173
Loc: Gator Country, Florida - USA
Whom has hit and thrown you? Your father?

Tuesday, then. Good. Keep to your plan.
_________________________
Marge is the love of my life.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337955 - 11/16/08 02:16 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Carl]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
A problem shared is a problem halved, Raven.
There are people who can help you.
You don't have to keep bottling things up, until you feel like exploding.
Take care smile
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337956 - 11/16/08 02:35 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: PDM]
Ritsuka Tommy Offline
Companion

Registered: 02/27/08
Posts: 126
I'd rather keep the information of the person who hit and threw me too myself, if you don't mind. I'm not ready to tell just yet.

I will let you guys know what happens after my chat. It's time for me to tell my boyfriend that I've cut myself. He'll find out sooner or later so I better tell him now.
_________________________
"My name is my law"

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337960 - 11/16/08 04:08 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Ritsuka Tommy]
Carl Offline
Silver Star Soulmate

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 5173
Loc: Gator Country, Florida - USA
I wasn't trying to trick you. I'm just concerned about you, and want you to be safe. Whatever you've been told, or think, please think about this: nobody has a right to abuse another person. And we're not helping them, or ourselves, if we allow it to continue.

If you are going to wait until Tuesday to talk to the social worker, can I have your promise that you'll not harm yourself? Whether you talk to your boy friend, or not? And whether he says the right thing,or not?

I care about what happens to you. You should, also. And you will someday. Do it for the future you. Give yourself time to get through this.

_________________________
Marge is the love of my life.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#337971 - 11/16/08 05:12 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Carl]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Originally Posted By: Carl
... Do it for the future you....

I'll second that.
Look after yourself Raven smile
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#338315 - 11/18/08 01:09 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: PDM]
Ritsuka Tommy Offline
Companion

Registered: 02/27/08
Posts: 126
Thanks for the support everyone.

Well, I spoke to my boyfriend today and... I took a risk and showed him where I had harmed myself. Unfortunately, that part didn't go as planned. When I showed it to him, he first asked me with what did I do it. I told him it was a pin. In an instant, he smacked me through the face. I guess I deserved it for cutting myself. Afterwards he pulled me into an embrace and told me how I had once promised him that I would never do it again. But... I think that hit was more out of 'what-the-****-did-you-think-you-were-doing!'. And I understand that. He forever worries about me.
_________________________
"My name is my law"

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#338329 - 11/18/08 02:39 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Ritsuka Tommy]
Carl Offline
Silver Star Soulmate

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 5173
Loc: Gator Country, Florida - USA
It is your life. There may be genetic factors and environment factors that have been beyond your control. And there may be things around you that you have limited control over.

Yet, in my opinion, understanding someone else's hitting you - for any reason - is akin to rationalizing cutting or harming yourself.

I think you are worth more than that.

Wanting your boy friend's love and attention is human and normal. We all want to be loved.

But a love which keeps us in a inferior state (awaiting an embrace or a hit) is not what helps us grow stronger and more secure in our lives, in my opinion.

I urge you to seek counseling. I urge you to tell your social worker all that has been going on.

Battered females the world over live with the punishments, the apologies, and the expressions of love. Their whole world becomes pleasing the one who is controlling them.

Don't let this be you! You can break free.
_________________________
Marge is the love of my life.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#338351 - 11/18/08 05:55 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Ritsuka Tommy]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Originally Posted By: Dark Raven
.... In an instant, he smacked me through the face. I guess I deserved it for cutting myself. Afterwards he pulled me into an embrace and told me how I had once promised him that I would never do it again. But... I think that hit was more out of 'what-the-****-did-you-think-you-were-doing!'. And I understand that. ....

I can understand him feeling upset, angry, confused, let down, etc.
I suppose that when people feel like that, they may lash out.
But really, Raven, he has no right to slap you.
You are obviously a very understanding person, but you cannot forever be worrying that he might hit you again.
It's just not on ~ not even if he did do it because he feels let down & he worries.

You have been worrying about him.
You have felt let-down by his talk of the other girl.
Did you lash out at him?

Yes, you promised you wouldn't do it again & it frightens him, but you have been doing very well. No-one is perfect.
This was a blip ~ and it was triggered by his telling you of his feelings for another girl. Any girl would become upset at that.
Maybe he feels guilty about that.
Whatever ~ whether you have annoyed him, or he is feeling guilty, lashing out and slapping your face is unacceptable behaviour.

You are very young Raven. Everyone needs a bit of support at one time or another.
Don't wait until you feel ready to explode.
You don't want to break down; it could make you ill.
Sometimes the strong thing to do is to accept that you need help.


_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#338371 - 11/18/08 06:59 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: PDM]
Pudgie's mom
Unregistered


Originally Posted By: Carl
It is your life.
I urge you to seek counseling. I urge you to tell your social worker all that has been going on.
You can break free.


I think these are very wise words and worth thinking about, Raven, as well as these words too:
Originally Posted By: PDM

You are very young Raven. Everyone needs a bit of support at one time or another.
Don't wait until you feel ready to explode.
You don't want to break down; it could make you ill.
Sometimes the strong thing to do is to accept that you need help.



You do have a future, and it will be better if you are with people who are gentle and supportive and who will help you reach your goals...

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#338519 - 11/19/08 01:51 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: PDM]
Ritsuka Tommy Offline
Companion

Registered: 02/27/08
Posts: 126
Originally Posted By: Carl

But a love which keeps us in a inferior state (awaiting an embrace or a hit) is not what helps us grow stronger and more secure in our lives, in my opinion.

I urge you to seek counseling. I urge you to tell your social worker all that has been going on.

Battered females the world over live with the punishments, the apologies, and the expressions of love. Their whole world becomes pleasing the one who is controlling them.

Don't let this be you! You can break free.


He does NOT keep me in an inferior state of being! I refuse to tell my social worker about this. Why the hell should be so clued up in my personal life?! I am not weak and I am NOT being controlled! Don't make me sound weaker than I am! mad

Originally Posted By: PDM

But really, Raven, he has no right to slap you.

You have been worrying about him.
You have felt let-down by his talk of the other girl.
Did you lash out at him?

Whatever ~ whether you have annoyed him, or he is feeling guilty, lashing out and slapping your face is unacceptable behaviour.


I know he had no right, but no one here understands him the way I do. The reason I don't lash out is because I don't believe hitting someone will make a difference... ok, unless I'm in a real rage, which doesn't happen often (thank God). He was just really angry and I understand because I can relate.
_________________________
"My name is my law"

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#338520 - 11/19/08 02:03 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Ritsuka Tommy]
Amaggiepie Offline
Great Friend

Registered: 12/23/07
Posts: 468
Loc: Baltimore, MD
Ok Raven, I know Im not in your situation and I don't know exactly whats going on...

But I was in an abusive marriage for 2 years. I got married very young because I had a baby and I didn't want my daughter not to have ehr daddy. It was the wrong reason. My husband became depressed and then an alcoholic and struck/abused me 5 times before I filed for divorce. The first time, it was a slap and a kick. I was 4 mo. preganant. The last time, he threw 7 full beer bottles at me from across the room, punched me in the chest three times and almost killed my daughter (one of the bottles almost hit her...like it missed by a 1/4 inch). He also hit my mom and friend when they tried to defend me and went to jail for 3 months.

I stayed so long becuas eI loved him, because I understood him and made excuses for his behavior, and becuas eI felt like I had no choice. I am lucky to be alive. I didn't realize that this was abuse and that he was controlling me until he wasn't there anymore.

Being abused inst a sign on weakness. It isn't your fault and it isnt something you should be ashamed of.

If it was okay for him to hit you, you wouldnt have any problem telling your therapist.

And if he thinks its okay for him to hit you, he will do it again and it will get worse...

Just my take on things.
_________________________
~ Maggie
Mama to Juliana Elise (03/07), Wesley Dominick (06/10) and four feathered 'tielbabies!

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#338522 - 11/19/08 02:09 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Amaggiepie]
Ritsuka Tommy Offline
Companion

Registered: 02/27/08
Posts: 126
Originally Posted By: Amaggiepie

Being abused inst a sign on weakness. It isn't your fault and it isnt something you should be ashamed of.

If it was okay for him to hit you, you wouldnt have any problem telling your therapist.

And if he thinks its okay for him to hit you, he will do it again and it will get worse...


I'm NOT being abused! Why the [censored] should I be ashamed of it if it doesn't happen to me?! Do I have to have a damn reason for not wanting to tell my social worker? NO! I just don't wanna tell her, Simple as that! Stop trying to make my boyfriend sound like the bad guy here! If that's all you're gonna do, get off my thread and don't bother coming back! mad
_________________________
"My name is my law"

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#338526 - 11/19/08 02:14 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Ritsuka Tommy]
Amaggiepie Offline
Great Friend

Registered: 12/23/07
Posts: 468
Loc: Baltimore, MD
Im not saying your bf is a bad guy...my husband wasnt a bad guy, still isnt. And btw, not your thread. Free forum here.

IMO, if someone hits you, and you didn't hit them first, especially a boyfriend, it is abuse.

We're all just trying to help..its the been there, done that theory for me.
_________________________
~ Maggie
Mama to Juliana Elise (03/07), Wesley Dominick (06/10) and four feathered 'tielbabies!

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#338529 - 11/19/08 02:47 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Amaggiepie]
Ritsuka Tommy Offline
Companion

Registered: 02/27/08
Posts: 126
Whatever.

Stop using the word 'abuse'! That might be your theory, but it's not mine!
_________________________
"My name is my law"

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#338540 - 11/19/08 03:18 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Ritsuka Tommy]
Carl Offline
Silver Star Soulmate

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 5173
Loc: Gator Country, Florida - USA
I've got some news for you, Dark Raven. While people on here are as caring, if not more so, than people anywhere, we are just people. And none of us "own" the threads we start.

You posted - which on this board puts your post and/or topic up for discussion. I think we've been kind and caring.

You think otherwise? If we use the word abuse, then that angers you and allows you then to abuse us?

If abuse from others and abusing yourself is what you choose, then I am so very sorry.

There are people who feel that they deserve to hurt and be hurt. And I am angry at the situations and the people who caused them to be this way.

I don't blame you. You've known no other way, and you want to hold on to any chance for love that you can.

I can see that you won't believe me, but I KNOW that if you decide you don't want to hurt any more, and begin to live for yourself and nobody else, you will begin to see that love that hurts you is not really love. And when you love yourself, you open yourself up to a whole new vista of opportunities.

You can love yourself even now. You've done the very best that you could. Think of all the energy and determination you've put into being what others wanted of you. You are a good person. Be good to yourself.

Being angry at us, and what we say, doesn't help you. It is probably even a cop out. But it is still your choice to take the cop out, if you want.
_________________________
Marge is the love of my life.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#338551 - 11/19/08 04:11 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Carl]
Carl Offline
Silver Star Soulmate

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 5173
Loc: Gator Country, Florida - USA
I see you've changed your name. I guess I can see a statement in that.

Thanks for being straight with us. I wish for you a life of your own choosing.
_________________________
Marge is the love of my life.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#338571 - 11/19/08 07:16 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Carl]
guesswhokatysue Offline
Friend

Registered: 11/02/08
Posts: 241
Loc: Maine, United States
I just read your post, and most of the posts after the fact. Being a teenager really sucks, especially one under 18.

I was in a relationship from 14-17 (it lasted for a couple months short of 3 years). As a teenager that was pretty much an ugly duckling, finally getting a boyfriend was like winning the lottery for me. I can't relate to the extent of abuse it sounds like you have recieved in the past from people you trusted. I am terribly sorry that happened. Anyway, I understand why it makes you angry when people say things like "abuse" when it comes to your boyfriend. I am not going to say that though. The reason is, while I was with this guy ( I loved him more than life itself ) EVERYBODY, and I mean my whole xxxxxxx school and parents were all saying the same xxxxxx stupid thing that this guy was abusing me. Let me tell you, I wanted to physically hurt every single person that ever said that to me because it made me SO mad that they were all trying to paint MY love as some evil person. To me, he wasn't. So I understand your rage. At some point (on one thread I tell the longer version of my story but I am hoping to shorten it up for you =D) my parents said "no more talking, hanging out, no more relationship". Yeah, real smart mom and dad, now, I am just going to lie to you about what I do, good choice. I hated it, I lied, I snuck out, snuck him in, I didn't much care. I lost their trust, anand they lost mine. I lost my friends too. I had nobody left but him and myself. Now, my guy was an abuser, and he loved this game of lets break her heart and watch her fall so I can pick her up again. It was great for him, but sucked for me.

I always felt like I had nobody to talk to, not even my own mother, because whenever I mentioned his name, nobody wanted to hear anymore. It made me feel so alone. i remember nights when I would fashion razors out of old used razors I would shave with. I would sit in my room, usually in the dark with my door shut, just crying endlessly, holding the blade to my arm, questioning, whether or not I wanted to do it. Usually I would. It felt better to do that than to cry all the time over a broken heart and soul. I know the feeling of wanting to hurt yourself, it helps me, like others, deal with pain. I haven't done it in quite some time, but let me tell you, there are times when I scare the xxxx out of myself because I want to SO bad.

As others have said before, he did have no right to slap you, but you know that.

I know you don't see the reason to pour yourself out to your social worker, and I never wanted to with anyone either because everyone stopped caring at some point anyways. Do what makes you feel better and leave it at that. As a teenager it is impossible to understand what you are feeling, i know when I was only a couple years younger, I could fly into a rage over some stupid little thing and other times, I just didn't care.

I promise, things get better, eventually. Luckily for me, that guy is out of my life. I know you don't want your boyfriend out of yours, I remember the feeling. My old boyfriend had family troubles too, I mean his family was CRAZY. His stepdad sexually harrassed me the first time I ever went to his house for dinner, and his mom, she just has a lot of life issues that for the sake of her younger kids, I pray she can somehow work out.

Try to stay away from the self harm things, it's hard, I actually got into a fight with my current boyfriend about letting me keep my razors. He saw that one night after a fight I had taken them out, and I carelessly had left them laying out. He wanted to take them, he didn't see why I needed them. I told him that even though I don't use them it makes me feel better to have them in that one place. He hid them on me. I WAS SO STEAMED! he eventually gave them back to me, and since, I haven't moved them. But try to not think about it. (yeah right, i know).

I hope something I said somehow made enough sense to help you a little bit. I know you love your boyfriend. I hope things work out. You're not alone. I'm only 18, and here, you will always have people that care about you, just be careful not to burn bridges with those who try to help you.

Nothing said here is an attack on you, I hope you see it that way.


Edited by PDM (11/22/08 06:56 PM)

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#338581 - 11/19/08 08:16 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: guesswhokatysue]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
To everyone:

The thing about this situation is that, while people are trying to be helpful and supportive of Raven, it may come over as us ganging up on her and acting as if we don't trust her judgement.

When one is stressed, it doesn't help if those 'helping' make us feel worse.

I remember when I used to get stressed over my weekend homework. I had to do it. It stressed me out. My Dad would sympathise, and complain that the school shouldn't set so much, and ruin every weekend for me, etc. He was trying to help me and be supportive of me. He was being a kind and caring parent, worried for my health, but it just stressed me more.

Of course, if a husband or boyfriend hits his partner, then he might be an abuser, but I have smacked my kids ~ when they were much smaller than Raven ~ it used to just be 'the done thing'.
I feel guilty, but I don't think that I am an abuser, and neither do my children. I smacked if they were in danger ~ as a deterrant. I smacked when they were naughty ~ as a punishment. I smacked more when I felt frightened or at the end of my tether than at other times.

I am guessing that Raven's boyfriend hit out because he felt stressed, frightened and at the end of his tether, over something he hates and doesn't understand. I cannot condone it, but I may understand it.

If he continues to lash out, whenever his loved ones don't do as he wishes, then, yes, he might be turning into an abuser, but once, in an emotional state, may not constitute this.

Raven is intelligent & used to looking out for herself. Hopefully she can judge when things go too far. If our comments cause her to ignore our advice, then this may do more harm than good.


To Raven:

The people on here are just trying to help.
You brought some worries to the board and people responded according to their experience and their views.
You may be intelligent and strong and mature, but you are still young and vulnerable. You have your own experiences of life, but others have different experiences, which they can bring to the conversation.

Your boyfriend hit you and you feel that you understand why and that this was a product of a specific situation and not evidence that he is turning into an abuser. I hope that you are right. You may well be, but you should be wary.

I am actually more concerned that you said that you deserved to be hit, than that he hit you. You did not deserve it.

Now, Raven, you can take from here the advice and experiences of others, or you can reject it.
You know yourself and your situation better than anyone.
But if you appear to be feeling stressed and upset, then I would have thought that the social worker would be able to help you.
No-one can force you to speak to her, but she is there to support you.
She is supposed to be on your side ~ do you not see it that way?

You have been doing very well, being positive, so that cutting is becoming a thing of the past.

But read back what you wrote:

'Sometimes I feel so alone, pathetic and unloved that I just want to hurt myself so I can feel some kind of emotion. I fight the temptation, but I don't know how much longer it will be before I snap!'
'Everything that happened in the past three months is really taking its toll on me: physically.'
'I'm always tired and my legs give in under me a lot to the point where I can't walk and (to my dismay) need to be carried. I don't eat and sometimes need to be force-fed.'
'If she dares to try and take him away from me... my ugly side is going to come out. And trust me, you don't want to see me like that because I end up hurting a lot of people... physically.'
'My boyfriend told me that the people at the clinic suggest he go to boarding school ... I don't want him to go away'
'what my boyfriend told me today tore me up inside. He said in a SMS: "Sometimes I dream, sometimes I wish and sometimes I pray to be with [insert girl's name]." How is this supposed to make me feel?! To be honest, I don't know how I feel. Confused might be the proper word. My emotions are mixed: love, depressed, rage.'


Raven, if you had a friend, who told you such things, wouldn't you advise her to get help and support from her social worker?

No-one is attacking you or trying to make you feel bad, we are just concerned for your health and welfare.
Of course, I do understand that the thoughts you are reading here might add to your stress levels.
Sometimes it's good to share and discuss, but no-one can make you do anything. You know that.

Just take care of yourself ~ please smile


Edited by PDM (11/19/08 09:38 PM)
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#338583 - 11/19/08 08:25 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: PDM]
Carl Offline
Silver Star Soulmate

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 5173
Loc: Gator Country, Florida - USA
Sorry if I seemed to be ganging up on her.

I hurt myself for years - and those around me, because of things that happened to me as a kid. My hurting was through drinking and in other ways. Slow ways, but still destructive.

And in self-help programs I've been in, one can only be helped if one admits one has a problem. For that matter, even counseling is only as good as the desire for help.

I care enough to speak straight. She may not agree, and you may not agree. But I won't lie so that what is heard is what she wants to hear.

Too many times I think we enable people to continue to hurt.

But I'll bow out of the advice department. Again, sorry.
_________________________
Marge is the love of my life.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#338587 - 11/19/08 08:39 PM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Carl]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Not 'you', Carl, 'we'.

I think that Raven is just finding the contents of the thread a bit too stressful at the moment.
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#338610 - 11/20/08 06:38 AM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: PDM]
Anonymous
Unregistered


To everyone,

I just can't deal with all this as the content of a thread, I really can't.

The changing of my username was for obvious reasons. I felt like lashing out at everyone that had posted here, wanting to swear and curse until I ran out of insults. But I'm not that kind of person. Yes, I am feeling angry, and it has ben noticed in my posts. Instead of having a go at someone, I changed my name from Dark Raven to Bloodlust Raven, just as a warning for everyone to back off.

I'll be leaving this forum for a while until I feel free enough to come back. I can't get myself so worked up over the messages in this thread.

Ma'am PDM, I'll keep you updated on how things are going.

So until I return, this is goodbye.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#338615 - 11/20/08 06:58 AM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Anonymous]
Ritsuka Tommy Offline
Companion

Registered: 02/27/08
Posts: 126
The anon post was by me. Dumb forum didn't wanna log me in.
_________________________
"My name is my law"

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
#338620 - 11/20/08 09:16 AM Re: Which tempation do I give in to? [Re: Ritsuka Tommy]
PDM Offline

True Blue Soulmate

Registered: 12/16/04
Posts: 22697
Loc: UK
Take care of yourself, Raven smile
_________________________
"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

Top

Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Twitter Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Facebook Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to MySpace Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Del.icio.us Digg Re: Which tempation do I give in to? Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Yahoo My Web Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Google Bookmarks Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Stumbleupon Add Re: Which tempation do I give in to? to Reddit
Page 1 of 5 1 2 3 4 5 >


Moderator:  Lisa Shea 

Want to reply? Register as a Forum Member - it's quick, free and fun!
Latest Posts
Daily Meditation - 10pm EST
by Lisa Shea
Yesterday at 05:54 PM
Forgiveness
by Tracy3
10/22/14 02:42 AM
Into the Wasteland - A Dystopian Journey
by Lisa Shea
10/03/14 04:32 PM
Getting my ex back
by Dmegown97
10/02/14 08:02 PM
The Lucky Cat - Black Cat Vol. 1
by Lisa Shea
10/01/14 12:06 PM
BellaOnline Ebook Award
by Lisa Shea
09/28/14 04:19 AM
Forum Guidelines
This forum takes web safety issues very seriously. Please make sure you have read and understood our Forum Guidelines before posting.
Support Charity
Support Our Friends
The Animal Rescue Site

origami wedding favors