Hello coolboz2009
When I read your first posts, I wanted to know how old you were, too, because I assumed that you might be a minor. However, at 29, you are a mature adult. Unless you have some health problems, for example, which result in you needing parental help, then
you should be sorting out your own life,
not your mother.
I think we need to try to understand your mother's viewpoint ~ though I find it alarming.
I have two sons; aged 18 & 22 and I would be very concerned if either of them started dating someone really unpleasant or someone who could cause them problems. I would not encourage such a relationship and would explain my concerns ~ probably loudly & at length!!!
However, my sons are adults, so I would have to be very careful, as I do not have the right to interfere in their personal lives. I believe that I can & should respect them & their decisions. I certainly would not threaten to hurt any girlfriend they chose.
If your girlfriend is likely to cause you problems, for some reason known to your mother, then I can understand her being upset, but she should not ruin your relationship and she certainly shouldn't be threatening this girl.
Does your mother have any reason to fear for your health & happiness with this girl, that could have made her respond like this? Is she a violent person?
If she knows something about her that is causing this excessive reaction, then you need to sort it out.
However, your mother should not be threatening to hit her. In some places this is illegal. Where are you?
I am not surprised that your girlfriend wants to break up. Your mother is threatening her and you seem unable or unwilling to do anything about it.
My mother is over-protective too, but she wouldn't have threatened to hit my boyfriend. It's just not acceptable behaviour.
Can't you simply tell your mother that, at 29, you are old enough to make your own decisions and that she has absolutely no right to threaten your girlfriend, and you will not tolerate such behaviour?
When things settle down, maybe your mother could meet this girl ~ having promised to be welcoming & kind ~ so that you can prove to her how pleasant she is & why you care for her. A family rift is probably not something you would want.
If you can't sort things out, then you will have to let the girl go, for her own benefit. It's not fair on her otherwise.