RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Breaking Up Did I mess it up for good?

Ok, so me and my girlfriend where together for about a year. When we first got together there was some problems. I didnt really care for the fact she did drugs(pills...etc) So she tells me I mean so much she will quit for me. So everything seems fine. We move fast, we're spending everynight together. And soon we're telling each other we love each other.

Then about six months into the relationship she gets a new room mate. This girl is not the best influence to have around. I know she is a pill addict, drunk, and everything. Instead of being judgemental I dont say anything. I just deal with it because it is suppose to be temporary.

Well, I start noticing changes in my girlfriend about two months into it. I think she is back on the stuff so, but me loving her trust her. She still smoked pot so I just thought it was maybe that. Well the girl finally moves out after like 5 months.

Me, and my girlfriend are fighting more then usual, so we break up. Me still loving her wants her back. So I try to give her space and see all the wrong things I did. But I still let her know I do. We see each other a few times and she acts like nothing is wrong. Like she still loves me more then anything. Then things start coming further and further between. The talks on the phone the visits.

Well, after about a month she tells me that she has been back on drugs since around the time the one girl moved in, and she is really bad on them now, and needs help. So I'm feeling betrayed, but I still love her. So I offer to get her help. She says she needs time to think about it. Well her mom finds out about her problem and offers the same thing I did. So she starts the Suboxine treatment.

Everything is weird and akward, we fight more, and I dont really start anything. So she tells me she had been hanging out with some friends and her ex-boyfriend is there sometimes. So I get mad. But I dont make it a big fight. Im not really the jealous type. I mean at this time I really dont know what she is going through and dont want to be to pushy, but I just want her to need me. So I see her the next night we kiss, I hold her, she tells me she loves me, and she falls asleep in my arms.

So one night a mutual friend has a party,the next night, she calls and asks me if I will give her a ride home. And I say Im going to and she tells me if I drink she wont want to ride with me. Well, Im stupid and I drink. So she doesnt have a ride. She drinks some too and gets mad and wont talk to me. We dont fight there.

So she calls someone to pick her up and take her home. I dont know who it is, I dont see the person so I think the worst. I send her text like she is real classy, and she is pretty much a piece of xxxx. Well not in those words but something like that. The next morning she text me back and tells me she didnt do anything wrong. But she doesnt care how I feel, or what my opinion is. She doesnt want speak to me again. So I send her a text saying how she can give some of my stuff to my brother because they work together. I get back a bunch of hateful text. Just saying mean stuff, I mean it just seemed like she was trying to get under my skin.

So, now Im sitting here thinking did my drunk jealousy mess this up, or was it already over? What the heck should I do I havent talked to her in a few days, I havent tried. But Im thinking how could she fall out of love with me in one day? Is she just hurt? Was she just using me? Should I give up? Can anyone relate or help out please? Id walk to the end of the world for this girl. I mean I hate losing her as my girlfriend but I dont want to lose her completely.

Well, honestly, it was already over to her. I think she was just looking to get whatever she can have. And if your girl is hanging out with her X, that is an automatic tip off that something is going on. It was over ever since her friend moved in and she was just looking for a reason to break it off. You have the right to be mad at her for going back on her word but then she is trying to make you feel guilty for just drinking at the party when she should be the one feeling guilty. This is just my opinion and I could easily be wrong. But this is the way its sounding to me.

Hi Josh _ welcome

It seems to me that there are a few things going on here.

The 'romance':
Does she actually care for you and want to be with you?

The drugs:
Much more serious and definitely needing attention.
This will affect all aspects of her life.
You seemed to have been a good influence in this area, but someone else came along, enabling the weakness to take over again. She needs real help.

Drink driving:
Were you offering to drive her home while you were drunk?
This is what it sounds like.
This is very, very wrong and dangerous.

So important things first:
She needs help to get off the drugs.
You must never drink and drive.

Once you have both sorted out your lives you may find that you are right for each other ~ or you may not.
Things will sort themselves out.

Lovers' tiffs are commonplace ~ they can be overcome, as long as the important matters are sorted out.

Good luck

I wasnt drinking and driving, I went around 9, had around 2 beers and left around 12, Im not a careless person. In the 3 hours I was there, I did not allow myself to get intoxicated. So technically it wasnt drinking and driving. My bac. would have been way lower then the legal limit. I appreciate your concerns tho.

I mean should I give it some more time? I really dont know what she is going through or what her body feels like, how her emotions are,. But Ive had some former addict friends tell me you take alot of your aggression out on the people who care and mean the most. Im just lost guys, I mean yeah she lied to me, but she came to me crying for help. If she didnt want it I dont feel like she would have. Im probably the most positive thing in her life, well as like a friend/bf. I just feel like if I give up Im doing something wrong. I just need some good advice.

If this girl has a drug problem, then she will need expert help. You may be able to be a great support to her while she is getting the help that she needs, but she will still need expert help.

Perhaps you can help her to find it

She is going through out patient suboxone treatment.

All you can do, for now, I think, is be there for her.

Just see what happens at the end of the process.

Yeah, we're not currently speaking because of my xxxxxx attitude. I'd like to say sorry but Im scared of further rejection. Like I know she cant handle a relationship right now, because she has to build herself back up. Maybe I should do the same then try. I dont know what to do. I do know I love her. I do care. And I want some kind of future, she means something to me. But it just seems like she hates me right now. Even tho the timr brfore last we where together she loved me

Why don't you just send her a letter, saying that you care for her, you believe in her and that you are there for her if ever she needs someone to talk to ~ or something like that

Thanks for the advice, I think I will do that soon.