Welcome Khortnii
Interestingly, someone else on here asked, recently, if they should class their relationship as 'boyfriend / girlfriend', or not ~ and it seems that different people have different views on this.
Some would say that if one has only dated a few times, then it's not really classed as anything, but others would say that, once someone agrees to go out with someone else ~ dating ~ then they simply
are boyfriend and girlfriend ~ automatically, without actually having to say or decide anything.
Of course, if it's just going out as 'friends', or if they go out once and decide it isn't for them, then that is different, but, to me, what you describe is a 'boyfriend / girlfriend' relationship in its early days ~ you went on more than one date, you kissed and, finally, you became involved in consensual sexual activity.
You say 'I really like him now and would love to be his girlfriend'. In my opinion, you already are his girlfriend.
But what you want to know is whether he would agree or, as your post asks, is he using you?
Is he one of the people who assume that a dating couple
are 'boyfriend and girlfriend'?
But these are just words ~ do they really make a huge difference?
Have you reason to think that he is using you?
Even if he called you his 'girlfriend', would that really make a difference?
If he really were using you, then whatever word he used would make no real difference.
You like him, and it sounds as if he likes you, but you now think that your feelings for him may be stronger than his are for you.
Why do you say that?
What makes you feel that way?
Why do you need to know how to label this relationship?
Does it need a label?
You seem to think that it does.
You say:
I did not mean to go that far (oral sex) with him on our last date, but we got carried away. I do not regret doing so
Why are you worried that he may be using you, if you are ok with what has happened between you.
The thing is, something is bothering you ~ otherwise you would not have posted on here.
You say:
we are both old enough to do whatever we want
When we had our first kiss, I asked him 'are we dating?', which he said yes to
I did not mean to go that far (oral sex) with him on our last date
I got to know this guy in class a month ago
This all happened over the last 3 weeks
I am curious whether or not we are considered a girlfriend/boyfriend to each other
Does he like me or is he using me?
It strikes me that, generally, you feel very comfortable with this boy, even though you have only known him for such a brief time, but you wonder whether you are right to feel that way. After all, you have known him only a month and have become involved in sexual activity after only three weeks of dating.
To me, there are no sex:date rules. No-one should have sex with anyone just because they feel that it is expected of them. Personally, I think that there should be love, trust and commitment. I was brought up to believe that there should be marriage, too, but I know that this idea is considered to be very old-fashioned, nowadays. However, I think that many girls still want trust and love ~ or, at least, genuine affection.
But love and trust come with time.
You know how you feel about this boy, but you don't know how he feels about you. You don't know if he is using you. You don't know whether he is telling his friends about your relationship. You don't know enough about him, because you have known him for only four weeks.
You want / need to know, but asking him will not give you the full answer ~ only knowing him better and longer will do that. I believe in communication, but, as MW1 says, many men see the world differently from girls and his responses may not fit with your expectations, so yes, communicate, but also just get to know each other ~ slowly and surely.
I feel that, in spite of your protestations that you are 'old enough to do whatever [you] want' and that you 'do not regret .. [going] .. that far ... on [your] last date', you actually do feel a little uncomfortable about it.
If he had said that he loved you, or even said that you were his 'girlfriend', you might be feeling more comfortable about it now, but it wouldn't really alter anything very much, because you still couldn't be sure whether or not he was telling you the truth, or whether he might be using you. This is because you do not know him very well, because you only met a month ago.
I don't know what is going on, but walks in the park holding hands, and cooking you a meal for two, sound really sweet and romantic, so he could well be a really nice, genuine young man.
However, you have a feeling that you are more interested than he is, and you worry that he might be using you. If you sense this, then be very careful. Wait to see how things develop. Find out what he is really like. Get to know him better.
You may think that you
were ready, and that you have no regrets, but you 'did not mean to go that far' and now, because you are concerned about whether you are actually in a relationship or not, you are concerned enough to post a request for advice on here.
Also, though you want to hear the truth from him, you 'don't want to bring [the subject] up again .. because it will make [you] look desperate'.
From your post I gather that you don't want to feel used; you don't want to appear desperate and you don't like feeling confused about the status of your relationship. Most girls would empathise with this, I think.
But worrying about what has already happened, or about how each of you define your relationship, isn't going to make you feel better, so, in these early stages, you would be better to stick to holding hands, talking, getting to know each other, spending time together and, yes, kissing ~ but not going further than that ~ not until you are really ready.
What do you think?
Good luck
