hi. Im kind of new to this. So i will just give the quick rundown.

I like this guy. The problem with it is that my ex is his cousin. Me and my ex left on good terms. However we have multiple of the same friends. So i am good friends with my ex's brother and most of his cousins as well as with some of his other friends. This guy i like, doesnt care that people will be mad and disapprove. My Ex still has feelings for me. So if i were to lets say date him, then we would both lose alot of friends and hurt someone in the process. I dont want to hurt anyone but it cant really be avoided if you like someone that much?? I do not know what to do. The guy i like says he doesnt care about the consequences and hes willing to throw it away. His parents would also be mad because they dont like me. So what am i to do? what should i do? Should i just forget what everyone thinks and do what i want?

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Hello Brokenkitty ~ welcome

I can certainly understand why this is a problem for you. The boy you like should be able to see this too. He may not mind upsetting people, but, clearly, you would.

You currently get on well with your ex, but, as he still has feelings for you, that may go wrong, if you dated his cousin ~ or even if he discovered that you like him.

The thing is, he and the rest of the family are likely to find out, anyway, because his cousin doesn't mind them knowing.

In the circumstances, it might be best if you spoke to him about it first ~ before he hears it from others.

Once you have discussed the matter with him, it may become clearer to you what you should do about this.

If he is comfortable with it, then there shouldn't be a problem, and even if he isn't, but if you have been honest with him, he may, at least, be able to come to terms with it.


It might help, if you left it a while, before pursuing the new relationship. What do you think?

Good luck.

Thanks so much for the insight on this problem. I do agree with most of the things you have said. I broke up with my ex about 8 months ago. But we still have minor communication. Not much though. So sometime has passed. But i do not know if it is enough to try and express to my ex my interest in someone else especially a member of his family. is 8 months long enough or should i try waiting a bit longer?

Hi

Eight months is quite a long time ~ longer than I expected you to say.

If you like his cousin and his cousin likes you ~ and the cousin could tell your ex about your and his feelings ~ then I think that it is only fair that you warn him ~ difficult as that may be.

Do you agree?

Good luck