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i have a problem with my fiancee, in brief she started to feel that i don't love her, or i want to break up.
of course thats not true, i really love her and i can't imagin living without her.
she started to feel that 3 weeks ago (we were engaged 5 weeks ago) she started to feel that since first [censored] thing i have done.
the problem now is she think that i don't love her, but to be true i have 3 main problems, first i lack every kind of experience, 2nd my feeling never shown in any situition or even on my face, and the third is that most of time i feel like i'm lacking concentration and saying unforgivable words.
please i need help, i don't wanna lose her.

Hello, and welcome.



Without knowing what this is, do you think she's justified in her thoughts? Why would you act differently now that you're engaged? I know that some people expect different behavior and may tend to take their partner more foregranted because, as an engagement feels more permanent, some people feel that they don't have to worry as much about stepping on the other person's toes, figuratively speaking.



Experience comes with time and a willingness on the part of both people to learn and bare with mistakes.

If your feelings never show on your face, shouldn't she have known this before agreeing to marry you? Maybe if your face won't say it for you, you could show you that you love in other ways.

By "lacking concentration and saying unforgivable words" I would guess you mean in arguments. For both, I would recommend taking lots of time before saying anything and think about how it sounds to her, the effect it might have, and do you really mean it. Sometimes phrases like "you're stupid," "You can't do anything right," "I was better off before I met you," etc. can come out in arguments, and as much as you may not mean them, they will NEVER be forgotten. If you have said "unforgivable" things, the only thing I can think of do to is to SHOW HER that you didn't mean them--it will take time. No amount of apologizing can take some words back.


Hope this helps.

Hi kimzzz
I'll just add some of my thoughts to Sala's.
Maybe, between us, we can help a bit.
So really you both have problems.
Right, let's think what might be going on here ..
Maybe being engaged is such a big deal ~ and it certainly should be ~ that she's is getting nervous about it, or wondering if she has made the right decision. A commitment for life to one person is, indeed, a hige commitment.
Are you certain?
Are you sure about this life-long commitment to one woman?
If you are both certain, then that is a good start.
Now why, after just getting engaged to you, would she suddenly start to doubt you?
What on earth is this one and only bad thing that you have done, which is causing her uncertainty?
Are you sure that she thinks that you don't love her?
Has she said that?
If that is what she thinks, then she will certainly be having doubts about marriage.
No woman would really want to marry a man who doesn't love her.
But why would she think this, if you have only recently proposed to her?
How long have you known her?
Surely, if she knows you well enough to agree to marry you, then she must know about these "3 main problems"!?
Not sure what you mean and why this might cause a problem.
Perhaps you are very young and/or not very worldly-wise.
But this shouldn't really cause a 'pre-marital tiff, I wouldn't have thought. Couples learn together.
Well, I suppose some people are just like this, but, if she knows you and loves you enough to get engaged to you, she must already know this???
So, do you ignore her or something like that?
If you aren't taking much notice of her already, that might cause her some concern.
You say 'unforgivable words'? To her?
Why would you be saying 'unforgivable words' to the girl you love and want to spend the rest of your life with?
'Unforgivable words', by their very nature are 'unforgivable'.
What have you done about this?
Have you apologised and asked for forgiveness?
Have you asked yourself why you said such things?
I am wondering if she contributed to this discussion at all?
Did you argue?
Did she utter any 'unforgivable words'?
I'm a bit confused as to why you are saying horrible, unforgivable things to the girl you love, who has just agreed to marry you? ~ Why you have done this 'first [censored] thing' that has upset her.

If I were her, I think that I, too, might be having doubts.
On the other hand, everying makes mistakes and loved-ones tend to forgive, if the mistake is not too big.

Can she be sure that you will not make her future miserable? That you will not hurt her?

If you believe that she is the one for you and that she will be a happy wife in your care ~ that you can be a good, caring, loving husband to her and you will not cause her pain, but will take care of her and show her that you love her, then you need to promise her that.

If you feel that you can say this to her and make her believe it, fine, but if you cannot show your true feelings easily, then maybe you should write it to her in a letter. People like love-letters. But writing it down does not excuse you from showing it too. It must be truthful.