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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 2,466
val313 Offline OP
OP Offline
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 2,466
There is this woman that I know. When I first met her I thought she was a tad overbearing. Then I ditched that and we became friends of sort. As I got to know her, my first impression was more correct. I realize that you cannot like everyone that comes across your path in life but you can be civil. However, she drives me NUTS!
She sells this vitamin/all natural stuff and is very very pushy on it. She regularly condemns us in the book club (in a sneaky manner) for using bleach, candles, any kind of cleaner, store brand vitamins you name it. Most of us gals ignore her. She does not get the hint. She kept pushing me on the subject to buy her stuff. (It is very expensive) My husband and I cannot finacially afford what she wants us to buy. I kindly told her that it was not something that we could afford and that I appreciated her concern for my health. She retorted with "Well I have 2 kids and I am a stay at home Mom. I can afford it! That's not an excuse"

Not only is she pushy on that .. Her kids are nightmares. Mean spirited and ill behaved. Think Super nanny times 100. Its not just me. One of my other friends babysitted for her till her 5 year old asked her to not have them over anymore because he was tired of being hit and having his toys destroyed. Pretty bad if your 5 year old is asking that.

My problem.. How to tell her to bug off without looking like the bad one in the bunch. She comes to book club all the time and there are 3 of us that cannot stand her but play nice to save face. I am to the point of not going anymore because I leave aggrivated. But I really enjoy the time with the gals.
She has repeatedly asked me and my hubby (who cannot stand her or her family as well) to dinner. I have made all the excuses I can think of to bow out.

So should I continue to suck it up and be nice or just finally tell her to back off a bit??

RIP Peeps
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 22,697
PDM Offline
True Blue Soulmate
True Blue Soulmate
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 22,697
I reckon you should be civil and polite - otherwise you may feel bad - but do absolutely nothing to encourage her.

By explaining, you are giving her reasons to argue with you. Just say 'no thank you' if you don't want her vitamins. Of course she may want to convince you ~ I might, myself, if I were her, but she has tried and you have refused and that's that.

If she argues, just say; 'No. really. I have already said no. Thank you.' And walk away. There is no need to be unpleasant about it, as long as you make yourself clear. Start a completely new conversation with someone else.

Don't invite her to your home; don't go to her home (unless this is part of the book club.)

Once she realises that you mean what you say, and you are not willing to listen to her spiel, she will probably leave the subject alone ~ and probably not invite you to dinner. Aah What a shame!

I do understand how you feel. I have been helped myself in this area. There are ways of keeping people at arm's length if you are having difficulties. It's just a matter of being polite but firm. You don't have to give her reasons. You don't have to pretend to like her. Often, it's just a case of reminding yourself of this.

That's what I think ~ I hope that it will help.

Last edited by PDM; 05/24/08 01:07 AM.

"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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