RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Long Term Partners Ready to have children?

I was wondering people's opinions here concerning when is it the right time to have children in a marriage.

I've seen sooo many opinions about this. I know in my case, I/we are probably not ready yet. But, as I'm hoping other women here can sympathize with, that mother's instinct in hormones kick in extremely hard sometimes! It can be pretty scary how bad I, as a woman can want children!

So I'm wondering opinions. Is finances a factor? Length of marriage/relationship? Having a house? Finishing college/grad school? Just love? What do ya'll think?

First of all, I think you should enjoy each other for a while. Do things together, travel, just have fun being with each other.
To be honest, if you wait till you're financially secure, YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO HAVE KIDS. But, I think you need to have a place to live, some money put aside, someone to watch the child if you're going back to school/work and love and respect for each other. Raising a child is no easy task and it's nice to know that your spouse/partner will be there for you.
I hope i'm making some sense.

Diane

hehe I have something to share. When I saw the title to this thread this came to my mind right away. It was sent to me a while back. [u][b]Just for fun: Are You Ready To Have Children?[/b][/u] [u]Mess Test[/u]: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the TV and leave it there all summer. [u]Toy Test[/u]: Buy a 55-gallon drum of Lego’s. (If Lego's are not available you may substitute roofing tacks.) Have a friend spread them all over the house and stairways. Put on a blindfold and remove your shoes and socks. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream, as this could wake the child at night. [u]Grocery Store Test[/u]: Borrow one or two small animals. (Goats will do nicely.) Take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage. [u]Dressing Test[/u]: Obtain one large live octopus or giant squid. Stuff into a small mesh bag, making sure that all arms stay inside. [u]Feeding Test[/u]: Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord and start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy breakfast cereal into the mouth of the jug as it swings by while you pretend to be an airplane. Then dump the contents of the jug on the floor. [u]Physical Test for Women[/u]: Obtain a large beanbag and sew it to the front of your clothes. Add two pounds of beans per month for nine months. Then remove the beans, but do not remove the bag. [u]Night Test[/u]: Obtain a canvas bag, similar to those used to prepare for floods. Fill with ten pounds of sand, and soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 pm begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 pm. Put down the bag and lie down, setting your alarm for 10:00 pm. Pick up the bag and sing every song you know. Make up more if necessary and continue singing, waltzing, and humming until 4:00 am. Set down the bag and set your alarm for 5:00 am. Get up and make breakfast. Look pretty. Do this every night for five years. [u]Physical Test for Men[/u]: Go to the drugstore. Set your wallet on the counter and tell the clerk to help himself. Then proceed to the nearest food store. Arrange for your paychecks to be deposited directly to the food store's bank account. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time. [u]Final Assignment[/u]: Find a couple with a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and the child's table manners. You may eventually make new friends to replace these. hehehe... :D Hope you got a giggle.

OMG!!!! I LOVE THIS!!!!!!
I used to say that my daughter was so bad, that all teens should spend time with her. She was a walking advertisemnt for birth control.

haha that is funny! How old is your daughter now? does she have kids?

OMG! iLuvNature that is just sooo perfect! Love it!!
And Niki, I completely agree with luv my bird. Kids are a 24hr 7days a week lifetime commitment. I say lifetime because NO it doesn't end when they turn 18. If anything it gets more..IDK worrisome/difficult as they get older. Once they become teenagers> Let the fun begin!! LOL
Anyway having kids definitely puts a tremendous strain on any relationship no matter how strong it is. So you have to be prepared to endure the pressure and stick together. And I'm not just talking newborns and midnight feedings.
Kids are great though..I love kids and they are soo worth all they put you through. Even when you're ready to strangle them LOL

My daughter is 26, single but in a committed relationship. Engagement in the near future.
I only hope that she has a daughter JUST LIKE HER. She needs a dose of her own medicine.

ya mean it really doesnt end when they turn 18!! LOL...haha I know it doesnt...although I cant wait until my oldest daughter who now is 17 turns 18 at the end of this year, I know it really wont be the end of the worries. She now has a BF (that is actually more decent, thank goodness, than other guys she was kinda interested in the past) and I also have a 14 year old boy and an almost 13 year old daughter...eek...yes, feel sorry for me...lol!


I love my kids though. Sometimes I wish they were Fids so I could put them in a cage though and keep them out of trouble that way. So much easier to control and then just take them out when I want to play with them..lol. I am only kidding! I think...hahhahaha!!

Ok, my kids must be hungry..its time to unlock the closet door and let my kids out for the day..only KIDDING!!!!!

So your daughter is probably a senior and graduating highschool this year? What does she plan on doing? Kind of a confusing, scary, and great time for them at that age I think. Prepare for the ride! LOL
I have 2 boys 14 and 19,well 15/20 in March!Where did the time go!? And they've been complete opposites right from the get go.I always wished they came with an on/off switch lol
And yeah, My mom always wished the same for me and I've definitley wished the same for my 2. "Hope you have one just like you" Or "You'll see when you have kids"

This will be her last year. She actually just turned 17 near the end of december 2008 (wow its 2009!)
She has been giving us a bit of trouble..thinks she knows EVERYTHING, you know how that goes! She thinks we are too strict and will not understand it until she is out there on her own and has kids or her own.

I get you about the "on and off switch" LOL..wouldnt that be great! My kids have grown up sooo fast. I sometimes catch myself just staring at them and my youngest has caught me doing it and say ..WHAT?!.. I just tell her...your growing up too fast, and I tear up. MOM! she says..lol!

All of them are so different..the oldest so stubborn, my middle one, the boy (just turned 14 beginning of Dec)..sensative and shy, my youngest girl 12 outgoing, rambunctious.

Boy do I feel old. Not really though...just seeing them grow up makes me realize how old I really am. My oldest daughter is the age I was when I met my hubby!


boy, we really hijacked this thread didnt we?!! Sorry!! *hides*