RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Does He/She Like Me? He seems to like me, but still doesn’t ask my #

Ok I met this guy who works at a local buffet restaurant. I’ve been going there with my sister for quite a while but noticed him about half a year ago. He seems like a decent guy, he has this “deep” look in him that I find rather attractive & secretly have a crush on him About 5 months ago, while clearing off my table, he complemented about the sweater I was wearing that night. (There’s a flag logo I guess of his country – but I’m not from there). Anyways, we exchanged a brief talk, introduced each other’s names, etc. I go to this buffet restaurant about every other weekend. It’s a pretty big buffet, divided into different sections & you’re directed to wherever there’s an available table @ the time. I don’t see him every time, but if he works that night, he’ll somehow always find my table (there are a lot of tables) & come over to say hi – and I was never at the section where he’s assigned that night. He always surprises me by coming from behind, tap on my shoulder or my food tray. Of course, we could only exchange a few words like how I’m doing, or how my holiday was, etc. One night, he happens to be working at the section where me & my sis were @. He came & talked to us a little & then asked if we need to get any drinks. Since it’s a buffet & to be polite, I said no & got myself 1/2 a glass of juice. Not too long after, he passed by, placing a full glass of that juice I was drinking on my table & said, “oh just in case you need some more”. I was kinda surprised cuz the waiter/waitress here don’t bring you a second glass of drink. We either refill ourselves or ask them to refill for you. Fast forward to about 2 wks ago... we were talking about something & I jokingly said I’m about to reach 30. I’m 25 (but have been told as young as 18, most are usually shocked when they know my real age) & he’s about 32-34. Of course he seems surprised & said I look very young (I sense like teenage young) with my baby face, so I then showed him my driver license. My friend & I were saying good bye to him before we left, to my surprise – he gave me such a sweet hug. He NEVER did that before, he always just gives me a pat on the shoulder. I went there this past weekends - and again, he gave me a hug when he saw me coming. Then when I said goodbye to him - just as I was turning away, he walked toward me & gave me a goodbye hug....twice that night!!! :blush: Now I’m just wondering why he still hasn’t asked for my number? I'm quite certain that he's interested in me for a while. Is it because I look so young & he wasn’t sure? Or does it have something with him being working & he has to act professionally (his boss is usually around & the place is crazily busy)? Or is he (hope not) just trying to be friendly with me & that's all?? Honestly I feel a little sad & hopeless everytime I get back from the restaurant. I even have a thought that he's probably already married & he's just being nice to me...

Ask him what time he gets off and would he like to go have coffee, a drink, or something to eat. His response will tell you alot.

Then you can meet in a public place and have a conversation.

BW it doesn't sound like he is "just being nice to you."

There may be a rule at his work about asking customers for their number or asking them out.

Yes, I agree with BLR.

Of course, you can never tell if someone is genuinely nice, or single, etc, without getting to know them better, so I agree about meeting in a public place, too ~ if he agrees to go for a coffee / chat / something to eat with you.

Indeed, you might even say something about always eating at his restaurant, but not being able to enjoy a relaxed chat with him, as you would like, because he is working.
Take it from there.

Good luck!

I know asking him would be the most reasonable way to know...but could there be any other alternative? I grew up in a different culture, & though I've been in the states for a while I'm still very much influenced by it. It's very rare for a woman to ask a man she likes to go for a drink or something. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm super shy or anything, but I just don't feel very comfortable in initiating this sort of thing.

I hope this makes sense

Just to give you some ideas, when I told this to my friends from the same country, these are the things they said: "oh just forget about it," or "are you kidding me, you'll write your number on the tip?" or "I feel bad for you, this is pathetic"....so yeah, that's how it is

well then you may never know

Yes, I do understand ~ different cultures, upbringings, etc, can affect us a lot.

I would find it difficult to be too up front about something like this, too. I admit that.

But if neither of you makes a move, nothing will happen.

Does he belong to the same culture as you do?

How about if you had a little get-together for friends, and invited him? Could you do something like that?

PDM, we’re from totally different cultures - I’m Asian & he’s Hispanic I hardly have any close friends now, everyone drifted away with our extremely busy life so I don’t even remember the last time we hung out (probably close to a year ago). And there are some other casual friends that we only meet once in a great while for dinner or something. So my best friend now is mainly just my sister - who's not outgoing at all. The only place she likes to go is the....restaurant where he works because she loves the food there the most. Besides, she's the quite one & usually doesn't know what to say much around men outside our ethnicity also.

So what are you going to do?

How will you ever know whether he is just a very pleasant and friendly young man, or someone who is a potential boyfriend?

It may be that he sees you as a friend, since you are such a regular customer ~ or he may really 'like' you.

Is your sister younger or older than you & does she have a boyfriend?
It's great to be close to your sister, but if the two of you become exclusive companions, then you may find it difficult to expand your social network.

Whether it is this young man, or friends in general, it would be better for you, I think, to get to know more people.

Perhaps, next time you go to the restaurant, you could just ask him to join you, when he gets off duty. At least, then, you may get an idea of how he feels.

After all, if he says that he can't, because he has to get home to his wife and kids, then you will have an answer

It seems pretty obvious that he is interested or at least likes you. If you only have a few moments to exchange comments then you could create an opportunity for you both to meet by co-incidence.

Simply pick a place that has intertainment like a band and arrange to go there with your friend that likes to eat at the restaurant. Make sure your friend has a male friend that can accompany her and you. Before you go, stop by for food and mention that you and your friends are going to this "spot" and ask his opinion about the type of music the band plays. Mention when you and your friend are planning on attending the performance. If he is interested he will probably try to show up after work knowing you will be there.

If he doesn't then you can tell him what a wonderful performance they gave the next time you see him and tell him he should really go see them.

Then you will learn why he didn't stop by the first time. Family obligations, night school, work, girfriend, wife, etc.

Your not inviting him out you are only letting him know where you will be. "chaparoned by your friend of course".

PDM, my sister is 2 years older than me. She just recently broke up with her LDR boyfriend. We never had much social life since we came to the states (more than 10 yrs ago). I’m more sociable & easy going than she is, but still - finding close friends seem to be getting harder & harder for both of us as we’re gettig older. We feel like our expectations, personalities, perspectives in life, etc. are just very different from those of our age in general. I guess I can say that we just don’t feel fit in that well...Maybe it’s partly due to how we’re being brought up by our family (my Mom was extremely strict up to about 2 years ago), or maybe that’s just how we are. Honestly, now I don’t even know where to start to have a more social life. Well, so get back to the dilemma with my secret crush. Last night my sis & I were at the restaurant again, and you know the same routine where he comes over to say hi & give me a hug. He wasn’t serving at our section, but he stopped by my table, withdrew 2 coupons (restaurant’s special deal) from his pocket handed to me & said “oh I got you these coupons for you next time”. I was like “that’s great, ty, where are these coming from?” cuz I don’t see any other waiter/waitress handling them out. So he just smiled & said “they’re from *** (the restaurant’s name) & from...me”. That’s probably nothing to most people, but I swear my heart must skip a beat when he walked away. :blush: I know some restaurants don’t let employee ask customers out & stuff – but could he just leave his number on the coupons when he gave them to me? I mean that’s like the perfect opportunity to me. I was so close to give him my number last night before I left, but that made me think twice whether he really likes me or not...Oh, he gets off duty when the restaurant is closed @ around 10 PM, so I don’t think I can ask him to join with us :( I’ll wait & see how things progress in the next couple weeks. If it’s still optimistic then I might be able to arrange something like you said Joanboys. Couple of my previous co-workers & I try to make plans together once in a while. We’re already thinking during my Spring Break (mid April), we don’t really listen to bands - but maybe a night out at one of the friend’s house & movies later – but it’s like 30 miles away. Do you think such environment would make him feel uncomfortable (my friend’s house)? We’re all Asians (from diff. Asian countries), and 2 of them have a Hispanic bf’s which comes over sometimes also.