For anyone contemplating cheating – this maybe long but if anyone is having a thought about entering the cheating world read on……
I have cheated on the person I love and there are so many consequences as a result that I could put into this. Although my actual status in the relationship was confusing at times, ultimately by cheating it got me no where and I cant hide from the fact that what I was doing was cheating. Confused I may have been but even that I lay the blame now firmly with myself as I cannot and will not place the blame elsewhere. I have hurt the woman I truly love, I hurt her son, her family, my family and in the end myself be it that the hurt is different Im sure in all cases. I want everyone to know that they must think long and hard about what they are doing if considering entering the cheat stage. In future I will try and educate any man or woman that may enter the cheat stage and use myself as example of the dreadful and horrendous result that I left behind. I am repentant of my cheating but unfortunately this will remain with me for the rest of my life as a jack hammer in my head every day, every hour, every minute and every second. Don't cheat because of rejection, not being treated right, or whatever you think the reason maybe as there is no excuse as simple as that. Just leave or be upfront about your feelings in the first place as maybe things can be worked out one way or the other. I’ve learnt that cheating is never the answer, never was and never will be. I have to deal with myself for what I have done for the rest of my life and believe me that is not easy at all when I beat myself up over it constantly. I ask myself why? The answer is easy – I was a coward – the cheat. I cannot just bury what happened and move on as it punches a hole through my heart with every beat. I’ve found these words after trying to find some level of comfort or what to do “Please respect yourself and your loved ones feelings, for I did not and now I suffer, we suffer” this is so true. I wish I read those words months ago before I became the cheat. I have lost my self respect let alone whatever else I have caused and now hang my head in shame.
Right now, I fight with every ounce of breath in my body for the one I love. I want her back. I want a future with her. Everything I say I will give her which is what she wants from the man in her life. She knows I mean this and really wants to believe what im saying. However……..To her, reality hits home as I cheated on her and I may now not be that man to give her what she wants and that is my hurt. Someone else is going to take my place.
At first, through my eyes it would have been so easy to get back together and just move forward because that’s where I wanted to be and what I wanted to do – but that’s just selfish. I love her and she loves me but beneath that lays the fact that I cheated. I wear the cheat label and it sticks like mud in her head and those around her. I know that I would never ever cheat again. I can make promises, I can swear on things and want to prove to her Im her man but reality is I have the cheat label now and have lost any trust I built. Again, I know for sure and I keep repeating myself, I would not cheat again because quite simply I love only her and only ever her and would never hurt her ever again, the hurt I have caused, the realisation that I achieved nothing, gained nothing at all from doing it for myself, the list goes on. Im in the wrong and I have to respect the way she feels which also hurts but I have to and will.
It makes it hard to type this when the tears block my view of the keyboard. Im sure that if she read this it may be thrown back in my face and maybe even ridiculed for what I have done. Yes I cheated, the remorse and regret of my actions are true and I believe everything that I have stated. I’ve learnt a very hard lesson in life. Don’t ever do it as ‘cheat’ is the worst ever label to carry.
