RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Dating Found out my boyfriends been cheating on me

I know this might be a bit long but please read.Thanks in advance for any replies, need some advice, because I dond really have anyone to talk to about this.I met my boyfriend last summer on holidays.He was working there, so we stayed in contact and when he came home in October we met up again but didn't start going out until december. Things were going well until my birthday this year in june. We went on holiday together and one of the nights he got drunk and hit me. He said hewas so sorry and that he'd never hit a girl before and was ashamed of himself and that it would never happen again and hasn't since and I forgave him.but last week I was a bit suspicious, I know his password for his emails and I checked them. I know I was wrong for doing that but I'm glad I did. I found hundreds of emails from girls he was with while he was working abroad last summer, he had stayed in contact with them the whole time we've been together. in the emails he kept talkn about meeting up with them again and how much he missed them and wanted to kiss them and f*** them again.I I was in complete shock.Hes been emailng these girls every day but he just sais it was flirting and he was never going to see any of them again. But I went back to april in his emails and realized he'd been texting and emailing a girl here organising dates and stuff he said it was a one night stand and he was sorry but I rang the girl and she said they had met up 3 or 4 times and I found out he'd cheated on me with another girl back in jan/feb.Im gutted. e said he didn't realize how much he loved me until may and he wasn't with anyone since but he still emailed the other girls hemet while he was abroad nearly every day. when I confronted him he said he was so sorry and begged me to forgive him. wats making this work is that I've just moved in with him and I have a a 3 year old daughter from a previous relationship that gets on extremely well with him and sees him as her daddy.he's done everything he can to try and make this up to me but I don't know if I can ever trust him again knowing he has never been faithful to me while we have been together. Is it possible for me to forgive him for this and for him to change? he proposed to me yesterday and I don't know what to say, id appreciate any advice thanks

My mother in law was reading this and had me pass along her advice to you. She is very wise:

"He hit you and you're wondering if you should stay with him??? A man never hits just once. There's more battering in store for you if you stay with him. Another fact is that if he hit you ,he'll hit your child. This danger is very real. She's not his flesh and blood and typically men don't bond well with another man's child. Plus, what sort of example are you sitting for your daughter? The man has lied to you, cheated on you and hit you. What else will it take for you to see what a low-life he is...beat your daughter to a bloody pulp????? Get out now, you can do so much better."

I so agree with Jilly! Very wise wisdom. Honey, never take this abuse and be aware that abusers love to cheat on women! They need to beat more than one!!! Pleae, I beg you, take care of yourself and your baby. Move out and get out as soon as possible. I can not stress this enough!!!!!

This guy is a predator. He is depending on your insecurity and your willingness to allow him to treat you poorly as a result of said insecurity. Get away from him. I'm sure there are aspects of him that seem wonderful. But if he's abusive in any way, the bad outweighs the good, period. I know because I've been there (however, I didn't have children, though he certainly did). You have a young daughter who is going to learn everything about relationships through watching you. So just think: would you want your daughter, when she grows up, to maintain a relationship with a man who has hit her and is cheating on her? I don't think you would. Please, get out of this relationship and get away from this man. If you do not, I can guarantee you that he will keep doing the same things to you over and over again, and, as much as I hate repeating cliches, you really do deserve SO much better.

RUN RUN RUN as fast as you can!!! Away from this jerk. You already knew what the answers were going to be, think you just needed confirmation you were headed in the right direction and you are. DO NOT LOOK BACK! This guy is serious trouble and will ruin you and your daughter's lives. Get out while you still can and look for someone who is not a liar, a cheater, an abuser. There are many men out there who are kind, loving, and if you don't happen to find one, at least you and your daughter are both alive and well and not feeling sad and broken, which guarantee from your post, you will have a lifetime of if you fall for his recent line of crap. I would rather be alone forever than to have to deal with this type of life draining stress. Believe everyone; you will be miserable if you stay!

1. He lied to you about keeping in contact with girls he was with last summer.
2. He drinks in sufficient quantity to get drunk.
3. He is an abusive drunk.
4. He has cheated on you.

I don't understand why you're even living with him in the first place, much less be confused as to what to say to a marriage proposal under these circumstances.

Pack your and your daughter's things, get the heck out of there and don't think twice about it even if he makes contact afterward and tries to apologize.

A guy like that changes his behavior about as often as a leopard changes its spots for stripes.

Hi Steph87

He has lied, cheated and hit you. I agree with the others.

I do understand, though, why you may feel confused.
He has apologised, said that he loves you, wants to marry you, won't hurt you again, etc, etc. And he probably seems believable ~ so you are not sure whether you should believe him, or not.

I imagine that there really are some men who behave very badly and then turn over a new leaf, but is it worth risking your future and that of your daughter?

Because he has already hit you and lied to you.

I have read about this sort of pattern ~ bullying men preying on vulnerable women, getting them to forgive their indiscretions, making them more and more dependent ~ and more likely to suffer violence.

He is already getting you to question yourself. Personally, I don't think that this is a good direction to go in.

Take care!