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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1
New Member
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New Member
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1
hi everyone, please help me out.
Many people have developed feelings for a friend in the past and i am no exception but this is more complicated.

I have loved my best friend for over a year and finally got the courage to ask her for a date in october after dropping hints. She seemed a bit shocked, i was suprised. She seemed to panic and said we were better as friends. I was devestated but tried not to show it.

3 weeks later i met someone else. I told her this so she didnt hear it as gossip. She said she was pleased for me. Following this she seemed to back away from me. I didnt know whether she was jealous about it or trying to give me some space. I liked my new girl, enjoyed my time with her but still missed my friend. I only saw her for 5 weeks then she ended with me. I never told her about my friend.

On new years eve i sent my friend a happy new year text. Later she replied saying she wished the best for me in my new relationship. I told her it was finished but we were still friends and i was visiting her. I think she took this to mean we were trying again. After a few weeks of nothing from her i saw my friend last weekend by chance. She looked amazing and all my old feelings returned for her. She seemed pleased to see me, we talked and it really felt like something was there. i havent seen her since, we talk online and im sure she still thinks i visit the new girl whom ive only seen once since we split up.

is it worth my while developing my friendship with my old friend again and perhaps if i can get her to see i have no feelings for this other girl (which i dont). ive only seen my friend once since we became distant but im sure she seems more open to the possibility of trying a relationship with me. the chemistry was there was weekend, so where my feelings but i just dont know about hers.

Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 22,697
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True Blue Soulmate
True Blue Soulmate
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 22,697
Hello Summerbreeze and welcome smile

It is very difficult to guess what your friend may be thinking.

Perhaps she is relieved that you found someone else ~ but maybe she is a little surprised that you found someone else so quickly after telling her how you felt about her.

It is sad that you may lose your best friend over this. Would you be happy to just be friends again?

The only thing I might suggest is that you have a heart-to-heart with her, and ask how she feels about the situation, after what you told her. Would she feel comfortable being friends again? Could she ever envisage a relationship with you, etc?

Would she agree to meet up for a chat?
What do you think?

"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

Moderated by  Lisa Shea 

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