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#425046 07/02/13 01:54 AM
Joined: Jul 2013
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Sindy Offline OP
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Joined: Jul 2013
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I have a crush on my doctor and I think he is into me too. Unfortunately we're both married with adult children. My marriage turned out to be a good friendship over the last few years but it was fine for me. Until some months ago when I met my doc because of a severe illness - but it will be fine again. So I had and have to see him every week for blood checks and so on. I was chatting with two nurses and both told me that he is not happy with his marriage too.

During the last month I felt a strong connection with him. We are flirting with each other, he smiles at me a lot, never turns his back at me, stares deep into my eyes - 4 to 5 seconds. He teases me a lot and complimented me for example for my new haircut and my tan. Every time he leaves the room he turns around and looks into my eyes. He often touches my back, rubs my arm or once even playfully touched my knee and my cheeks.

He has a male colleague which is kind of his best friend too. He has been teasing me several times about my crush. I didn't know why as I never spoke to him about my crush. For example he asked me if my heart starts racing when I am looking at my crush. I always said no but next time I made a joke and said that I am not able to eat when my crush is next to me. He grinned and said that he knew and felt the chemistry between the two of us. He also told me - my crush was standing next to me - that he finds it extremely cute.

I am now not really sure what I should think about it. Are they just teasing my - knowing I have a crush on one of them?! Or does my crush like me too and told his colleague??

Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,019
Platinum Star Soulmate
Platinum Star Soulmate
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,019
Sindy -

Unfortunately it is beyond unethical for a doctor to ever have a relationship with their patient. I'm not sure if you're in the US, but AMA guidelines are extremely strict about that. There are many reasons for that, and part of it falls along the same lines of why a teacher cannot date a student and a boss should never date a subordinate. There is a "power relationship" there. It influences the relationship between the two people.

Especially with doctors and nurses, it is a well known and well studied phenomenon that the patient often falls for the "caregiver". The caregiver is focused on the patient. The caregiver is listening to the patient. The caregiver is helping the patient feel better. All of these create a romantic atmosphere. That is why it is absolutely forbidden.

If your doctor is allowing this to escalate, that is just as bad as a high school teacher encouraging or prodding along a student who has a crush on him. I'm not saying that you're a kid - but that he as a doctor has been trained in this very situation and KNOWS it's unethical. For him to lure you along is just wrong, wrong, wrong.

I would steer far clear of him. If he's willing to cross these kinds of ethical boundaries, that's a giant warning sign.

Lisa Shea, Owner

Moderated by  Lisa Shea 

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