Thank you for the warm welcome and the response! I'm enjoying the forum so far
Yes to your first paragraph and yes about a year almost exactly to the time I made my confession.
Let me see if this makes sense anywhere except in my own head. When I met him, I wasn't really looking to do a whole relationship thing....10 year marriage ended in divorce, needed some serious recovery time. I also started school again and have pretty much made that my priority.
I thought it would be fine to have a friendship with him, particularly since he wasn't going to actually BE here...just wasn't wanting to get involved like that. Still not really that keen on it. I at the time was perfectly content to have a crush to think about and daydream about.
The reason that I finally told him, was because the more I talked to him the more I sort of figured out that it was not just a crush. I'm really into him and it was just too heavy to keep inside. It took me a month to decide to do it. Afterwards, it wasn't awkward or anything and at some point (I forgot to mention this) I told him the crush was over (major lie) because I didn't want it to be like the elephant in the room kinda thing yanno?
I absolutely have been on a few dates, had some fun and i'm still also feeling very strongly about this guy. I think that if he were here now, and had been for the whole time, we wouldn't have gotten close like we have since he's been away, due to me just not wanting to make that investment. I honestly first thought it was just going to be a pleasant distraction kind of thing.
No, its not the 'idea' of him that I like, its actually him. We worked together side by side for 5 months about 12 hours a day, talked on the phone all the time pretty much.
He doesn't mention other women, I don't mention other men. I'm sure that he's dating, he's healthy and attractive and that doesn't bother me a bit.
No he emailed the mutual friend the one time only. This was over the holidays, and i'd told him already that she'd spent the holidays with me and my family......he asked her how the holidays were and what she did and with whom. This wouldn't be weird except again, he hasn't said a word to her since the day he left. She was another member of our team...if we were paid, he'd have been my boss and I would have been hers.
Right now, I just want the question answered, he's acting just a little too something and i'm not sure what it is. I can't open up that can of worms again particularly since I told him that the crush was gone. I figure it has to come from him otherwise, I presume he's feeling platonic.
The phone call thing, that was bizarre. The topic at hand wasn't anything more or less serious than any other that we'd discussed via email in the past so it was just like why NOW do you need to talk to me on the phone?
He's due home in a few months, i'm prepared to wait until then and peep the new body language...but as you've no doubt gathered, i'm pretty patient.
