RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Breaking Up Getting them back...

I agree with Four Keets .

I'm trying the backing off right now. His little sister is one of my best friends and we went shopping yesterday. When we were 'done' it was pouring outside. His sister invited me in. I didn't see his car, so I went inside.

We were sitting in the kitchen and their kitchendoor is made of glass. He came home to get something and when he saw me through this door, he couldn't keep his eyes off me. We looked at each other for eight seconds or something, which I think is quite long. He didn't come in to talk though, his friends were waiting for him outside.

We ran into each other earlier, when I came to pick up his sister. He said 'hi' and looked me straight in the eye, which confused me a bit.

Normally I'm very rational, but I couldn't understand the staring part. Is it a good sign, you think?

While I could be completely wrong, the impression I get from what you say is that he still seems to care about you.

...I would guess that unless he has somebody to nudge him to talk to you again, he probably won't, so that then leaves it up to you. I'd try to make it in-person, though when.. I don't know. I'd probably wait until you guys ran into each other again and ask if he had a moment. And if/when you talk to him about maybe getting back together, I wouldn't try to rush him for an answer, but give him a couple days (at least.)

Hope everything works out okay.

I'm very confused right now. Today, there was a big party, where he, myself and my mother were too. My mother and him are good friends of each other and they talked about our former relationship. He told her about the letter and said that I apologized in it, but that I didn't have to apologize. He also said again that he thought our personalities didn't match and that he didn't have the time for a relationship. Then, my mother told him that every smile or conversation would give me hope. He said that he knew that and would keep distance.

After that, he was looking at me, smiling at me, saying 'hi' almost every time when I walked past him and even teased me a bit. I was trying to stay away from him too, I was even flirting with other guys. Still, like my mother said, I got some hope again.

Just now my mother told me about their conversation and it really confuses me. Should I still talk to him about getting back together? I really don't know what to do next. My friends said: 'I don't believe that he doesn't have feelings for you.' My mother says: 'He sees you as a good friend and tries to be distant.' But then there's the looks, the hi, the teasing and the smile?

At this moment I'm unable be wise. My fantasy and my never ending hope want everything to be okay. I'm starting to forget things about 'us' and don't feel sad when I see him anymore. I'm meeting lots of nice guys who are really trying to get my attention (don't mean to sound arrogant). Ofcourse this flatters me, but I just don't feel like I'm able to love anyone right now. I could like someone, but I couldn't start a new relationship because my heart wouldn't be with them.

So now I'm in doubt. Should I try talking to him or just let it be? He says one thing but then acts like another. Do you think he still likes/loves me and how should I act to it?

Man.. I don't know what to tell you. I don't know if you have or not, but if you could try to talk to him about why he says your personalities don't match, that might be best.

It also seems like you're confused about what you want for the future. Maybe talk to him so you can hear his side, and then both of you spend some time thinking about it?

Good luck.

I've asked him if I still had a chance with him. I said that I still felt a spark and said: 'What went wrong between us and is there something we could have done to fix it?' I asked him what he thought about my letter. He said:

"Honestly, your letter startled me. I made my decision, what makes it easier to live with us breaking up. I've moved on. There's no more spark from my point of view."

I answered: "Okay. I promise you now to stop trying and give up, enough is enough. I want to move on too. I'm sorry. I'll say this to you for the very last time: I love you and again: thank you for your mature reaction."

So I guess this is it then. No more text messages saying 'I'm thinking of you...' I was in love with him more then a year when we started our relationship. It lasted four months. We broke up the tenth of July, which means that I'm trying for almost two months now. That's almost half of our actual relationship.

I just don't know how to move on. How do you do such a thing? I still love him so much. I guess asking how to get him back is needless.

Thank you all so much for your support and advice.