Hi omgimroxie ~ welcome to the forum. :)
And of course your problem isn’t annoying ~ or too long!
It must be hard for you to see so few people, and you are right ~ this will have its effects.
I home schooled my two sons for part of their education, but they had plenty of friends.
My friend home-schools and takes her boy to regular home-school meetings, so that he can mix with other kids his age.
I am assuming that the boy from the parsonage is really good-looking ~ and perhaps a nice person too!
If that’s the case, and he’s around your age, and he’s pretty much the only boy you know, then I’m not surprised that you were immediately attracted to him.
[quote]I like at once knew that I wanted/needed him. … Though I kinda thought it was kinda by default since he was the only person around my age that I saw. [/quote]
Yes, you need friends & you are presumably a teenager, so boys will be attractive.
You are sensible enough to realise that your isolation makes this boy even more attractive to you,.
Now, you mention that you do have a best friend, so that’s good. And it sounds like this lad has now become your friend, too, but if he has issues that he is dealing with, and a girlfriend that he has told you about, then maybe friendship is all it can be. And, like a good friend, you just want him to be happy. As you say, maybe you are ‘not in love with him [you] just love him as a person‘.
Who knows what the future may bring? Maybe you’ll get together or maybe you will find someone else.
I think that you need friendship and companionship of people around you age. Is there a youth group at the church? Could you find a sports centre or youth club or young cinema club or anywhere safe where you could make friends? Ask your parent(s) or guardians(s) to help you to find somewhere suitable, where you can get to know people.
Good luck :)
By the way, I don’t understand what you mean by “the 'bad kids' school ”???