Thank you Joandboys, you pointed out a great point there that I sometimes tend to forget to realize...
I literally grew up with some sort of depression so it’s been having a great impact on my life. As I get older, it’s getting a lot harder – and the more depressed I am, the more I yearn for someone who could understand me and share my feelings with. I realize that happiness lies within oneself, and it is impossible to find it from someone/something else other than yourself. Unfortunately, this is the one thing that I have not been able to achieve. Therefore, I tend to end up being in one relationship after another (non-casual), but that always disappointed me more in the end because no one could measure up to my standards. I guess this is a good time for me to have some quite time alone, contemplate more realistically what I really want in life and what is important to me.
