Hello mysterious girl
You seem to be confused and to need help sorting everything out.
You feel that this all began when you 'met' a man on the telephone, who proposed to you but married someone else.
But nothing really happened, did it?
Then you 'met' another man on the telephone and you proposed to him.
He told you that he had been married before and had a child.
You say that you never told him about your first affair and you felt guilty about it.
However, since nothing really happened, there was nothing much to tell and nothing really to feel guilty about, was there?
Now. because of your husband's job, he lives with his family and you live with your parents.
Or are you living together now?
Do your parents know that you are married yet?
Why does it have to be a secret?
You lost your virginity to your husband ~ which is the traditional way.
But then you could only see him very occasionally for two years and, for whatever reason, you had two brief affairs.
I am guessing that this happens quite often when couples live apart for so long ~ especially if either or both parties feels ignored.
But you feel very guilty.
That is not surprising.
It is difficult to know whether honesty is best or not in such circumstances.
Some experts say it is; some say that it is not.
The thing now is that you both seem to love each other and to want the marriage to work.
A new start is what you need.
Does that mean confessing everything?
I don't know.
But what if your husband finds out about your affairs from someone else?
That would be worse, I think.
Is there a counsellor whom you could speak to about this?
Have you considered relationship counselling?
I wish you luck whatever you do.
It had been a difficult time for you and I hope that things now start to go on a happy and steady course