RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Breaking Up Breaking up is hard Anyone agree?

Hi all I know that most of us on this forum topic has been in a break up and know it's hard.

The hard part is going day by day and really being yourself again.

I think one of the hardest part for me is not calling her every week or everyday or often. Because I was with mine for about 5 years and dated off and on before then and known her for 10 years or so. Now we split because I broke it off because she was unfaithful to me, well so she doesn't claim even though I didn't see it I just herd it from a good source and I had enough evidence before that she might of been before because of calls from guys her hiding things and doing stuff with them without me knowing.

Anyway have any advice or just ways to tell me so maybe i can not call her. Well I know it's, "dont' call her". But it's hard because you were with someone for so long knowing that they just dont' care anymore , how is this possible after all you both invested, hmmm weird...

IT's that feeling you get in your chest and stomach area and then you think about it and then you don't even have to think about it, feelings just come....But it's kind of one of those things where you go day by day and you don't want it to be like that, I just don't want to call her anymore, but it's not enough for me to just tell myself that and it's hard to just do it...

Any pointers? Thanks guys...

Find a way to distract yourself... something else to fill the void she once filled.

Hi NightJay0044
Welcome to the forum.

First, are you absolutely certain that you are right?

Next, if you are certain, and it is really over, then you need to come to terms with the fact that you are grieving ~ grieving for a relationship that lasted a long time and meant a lot to you.

You will have to deal with this as you would with grief of any kind ~ give it time.

Time heals, they say. Maybe so, maybe not, but it certainly does help.

Allow youself to grieve, but also find other things to occupy your mind and your time. Try to fill the void ~ as Sal said.

Maybe you could join a club, or a night-class, or take up a new hobby.

Hey Mate!

My firs wife Karey Ann and I were together for 6 years all totaled. I loved her with all of my soul. One day - ad for a reason I still don't know - she decided she was not happy and left me. I was totally devestated.

I was a real mess for quite a while because of that. I felt like I was dying at times. I had a period of time where I shut myself in. I stayed at home in my apartment (our apartment) and grieved. It was horrible!

After a while I realized that I had to be around people; around friends. So...I started to go out to clubs with my friends. I met some women and socialized. But, thinking back on it now, I probably talked more of Karey than anything.

Anyway, the more I saw my friends and the more I met other women...the better I felt about myself. This was important!

When someone dumps you...not only is your heart broken, but your ego takes a kicking too. Having other women show interest in you is the best medicine for a damaged ego from a break up!

Anyway, another thing I did was join a local Karate Dojo and signed up for a black belt membership (which I achieved). I turned all of my focus onto training, improving myself and learning.

What you are experiencing right now is part of life, my friend. Be selfish and turn your focus onto yourself right now. Grieve as long as you need to, but get out there and spend time with your friends. Meet some pretty girls and have a few drinks and kiss them untilyou can't kiss them anymore. And...find a good hobby to dive into. The point is to keep yourseld busy and to have fun with other people.

I advise you to not call this girl either. Keep your dignity in tact, hold your head high and keep walking brother!

Remember this: Everything is going to be okay!

Marko