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#258852 02/20/08 01:10 AM
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ok, this is the thing, there is this girl at my school that i like, i think she likes me too because she always look at me and when i look at her she looks away but glimpse back a little. anyway, i was talkin to her online and i asked her, "if i said that i really like you, what will you say?" she got all nervous and started to not answer for like 5 mins. then she asked, "do i have to answer this?" and i said yes you do, then she said she likes me as a friend only. the next day, school, we usually hang out together but not alot, but we talk to each other alot in class and she stares at me, but today, she stopped completely! she don't talk to me, don't even look in my direction, when i said hi to her she just say hi back without saying anything else. i dont know whats goin on cuz i dont want to end our friendship just because i told her that i like her. please help!

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ps: i like her MORE THAN a friend, and i dont know if she like me the same way that i like her, but i still wanna be normal friends with her.

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Hi remedymy & welcome smile

I don't know if you have noticed, but there are a lot of posts similar to yours on the forum.
Young girls & boys seem to find it very hard to understand each other.

Let's try to unravel this ...

You like her and you are attracted to her.

She seemed to like you, and looked at you ways that you thought might have meant that she was attracted to you, too.

Usually shyness causes things to stop at this stage, for a while, but you asked her, in a round-about way, if she was attracted to you. This was online.

She didn't want to answer; you forced the issue; she said that she only likes you as a friend.

Now she barely acknowledges you ~ but still says 'hi'.

So what is going on?

Possibilities:

1. She isn't quite sure about her feelings for you; when you see her looking, she is trying to decide how she sees you ~ boyfriend material, or boy friend material? She hasn't yet made up her mind.

2. She really does like you, but is too shy to say at present ~ possibly because of friends knowing. (There are variations on this ~ egs; her friend likes you, so she doesn't want to upset her; her friends don't like you and she wants to fit in with them; etc)

3. She just wants to be friends. When you see her looking, it's because she likes you and feels a connection and is maybe looking out for you. She feels no attraction in a romantic sense and she now feels awkward and embarrassed.

4. She didn't want to do anything online ~ too impersonal; too many unknown possibilities, etc.
After all, you couldn't see her, so her friends might have been there & talked her into playing 'hard to get'.
She couldn't see you, either, so she might have wondered if you were with friends and if someone was playing a trick on her.

What to do?

Send her a note of explanation, indicating that, even if she doesn't ever see you as boyfriend material, you would still value her friendship and respect how she feels.

Or, tell her this in person, in private, and see how she responds then.

What do you think? It has to be your decision in the end!

Good luck!


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
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Well today, i walked up to her and said "hi" but this time she starts walking towards her girl friend, a couple of seconds later, her girl friend walks up to me and said, "i know you like her". so....?

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PDM hit the nail on the head. It doesn't matter what the friend knows, she is only repeating what was said to your friend by you. Talking to her in private is the way to go. It frees her to be just friends until and if,things change. If you are friends it allows you to get to know her even better. Remember "a lasting house of love is built on a strong foundation of friendship".



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ok, thanks

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Originally Posted By: joandboys
..."a lasting house of love is built on a strong foundation of friendship".

That's very good & very true ~ I hadn't heard it before. smile


"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.

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