RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Does He/She Like Me? Does my cousin's fiance like me?

Hi I'm new here and I was wondering if I am reading too much into this or not but here it goes....

My cousin is engaged to a guy that is 20yrs older then she is. (she's 1 year older than me). He's a really nice guy so I can't tell if he is just being friendly or not but he always asks me for hugs every time that I see him. He always says "give me a hug.... I haven't gotten my hug from you" The hugs usually last an uncomfortably long time and other family members stare at us. He is always complimenting me, saying things like you are so smart, you smell really good, you are very beautiful ect. Last summer he was drunk and he kinda hiot on me. He followed me upstairs, backed me up against a wall and said "you know I give really good backrubs....." Thn he was like, "your cousin doesn't really love me" I got away from him and went downstairs. I started avoiding him. Then he always asks me "how come you never come over and visit us (meaning him and my cousin) anymore? You always used to come over." I told him I didn't want to impose on them and he said "you never impose. we just sit around and argue every night anyways..." Whenever he catches my eye, he always gives me a big smile. Sometimes he just smiles at me for an uncomfortably long time. He also asks me to dance with him sometimes when we are at family parties and once when we were talking about how long it takes to get through security at the airports and stuff, he started ticklig me and said "i'd frisk you!" Is this normal? I don't think so but maybe I'm reading too much into it.

Pooky

Hi Pooky.

I would feel as awkward as you do in this situation.
Doesn't your cousin notice what he is doing?

You mention family members staring ~ does anyone say anything to him or to your cousin?

Giving someone a friendly hug is one thing, making it last uncomfortably long, is another. Backing you up against a wall is way out of line.

He says that your cousin doesn't love him and that they argue. It may be that he is either trying to make her jealous, or that he is using that old married man's chat up line of 'she doesn't understand me'.

It sounds as if this makes you uncomfortable, yet you are allowing it to happen. That's not fair on you.

I'm guessing that, as you aren't sure if it is appropriate, you don't want to offend, or stir up trouble ~ and yes, this sort of thing could cause a fall-out with your cousin.

Maybe he is just a harmless flirt, or maybe he enjoys teasing young girls, but, personally, I think that you need to put him straight. You can be firm but friendly.

If he asks for a hug, say that you don't hug other girls' fiances. If he tickles you, say something like: 'Do you mind ~ I don't think that this is appropriate'. If he backs you into a corner ~ tell someone you trust. If he frightens you, scream! If he compliments you, be polite and say thank you, but don't be effusive.

You mention family, can you talk to your Mum, or a sister, or aunt?

Do you mind me asking how old you are? Some men just like tormenting young girls ~ and he is a lot older than you ~ but then, he's engaged to your cousin. When are they getting married?

Be careful ~ just in case.
Tell someone your concerns.