RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Long Term Partners Ready to have children?

Hey, spoiling is under job description for being a Grandma isn't it???? And then you can give them back to their parents and let THEM deal with it. HA HA take that kids, and here's the loudest, noisiest toy I could find to go home with them! hehehe Can't wait!

The one thing that would annoy the heck of of my daughter-in-law is her kids playing video games all day. My son is a video game addict and she hate it!!!! hahahaha I know the first thing i will buy them <evil grin>

We keep some of the toys here for when the little ones visit, but the loud ones definitely go home with them.

Now, I've gotta say that the one who would just as soon not share my attention is my little Princess - our calico cat, Trippi. Both she and our youngest grandson, Ben, think that my entire day should be spent with just the one.

But of course your little Princess should get the most atttention Carl..she is a Princess afterall! How old is Ben? Maybe he can play with Princess..you know drag a toy around or whatever and that would appease her for a while?
And Diane, my youngest is a total video game freak too. His older brother just can't get how he can play those "stupid" games allll day LOL Especially now with Xbox live and all where he can play them with others from just about anywhere and of course now he has a certain few peeps he plays with all the time.
I can say one thing for his love of gaming though..he started playing video games when he was 2 and certain RPG games had a lot of reading involved to know what to do next or whatever. So he was constantly yelling MOM! read it! And of course I would. Don't ask me how he understood it because I didn't and he was only 2-3 yrs old! Anyway he must have been following along with my reading because by the time he was 3 he was able to read on his own. Not just the stuff in the games but actually reading at first grade level or higher. Even the newspaper! Amazing!When he hit first grade he tested at 6th grade level(the highest he was tested at)and by 2nd grade he tested at post highschool level! Yes..I was and still am very proud of my youngest gamer brat. So anyway gaming can't be all bad. As long as they have a firm grip on reality that is
I know-I went totally off topic yet again-sorry

I find it very hard to believe that my friends are grandparents ~ especially the ones who are younger than me & who have been grandparents for about 10 years!

Well I did say I do know we're not ready yet. x_x I was really just looking for opinions in a non-personal way, but I guess it still works. =P I had a long enough lecture from my best friend about not being ready, that was enough to shut me down until we are! She has the most gorgeous baby boy I've ever seen, and always says how I'll have a football team someday, but her wisdom when serious was pretty humbling.

I still wonder what qualifies a couple though. As already stated "financially secure" can sometimes be a thing so evasive. No one really knows what it really means, and certainly husbands never think they're there yet! Emotionally ready? Who knows until it happens, some people are never really emotionally stable, it's just in their personality. Should they never have kids? Or the people who go into long educational processes where it can take 7 years to finish their PhD program, should they wait until that's finished?

I mean in the end, most of the time I'd think babies come quite unplanned. You can do everything right and perfect and not "slip up" and one can still come.

Of course the traditional Catholics and other of the major religions would say "if you're not ready to have kids, you're not ready to be married."

I actually was flamed by some crazy Catholic person about that. He seriously believes the only purpose for sex and marriage is children. I was flabbergasted. He thought if I didn't think I was ready for children, then I wasn't ready for marriage. I disagreed, but that was interesting.

EDIT: Addition:

And you know.. then there's the issue of health. My mother had/has Lupus, and when she was my age they didn't really know as much about the disease as they do now. They were convinced children could kill the mother. They were also convinced she wouldn't live past 35. She had me against their advise, then had my brother. They tried to convince her the whole time to abort him, they said he'd certainly die and if not, kill her. Well, he made it out fine, and so did my mother. But then they successfully convinced her to get a hysterectomy. Now of course she regrets it.

I'm not the healthiest of women myself. At this point I'm not sure if I will be better or get worse. But should women be so strongly advised against having children because of that?

As far as not being the healthiest woman, talking to your doctor would be the best way to go. He can ADVISE you on how to proceed.
I suppose it depends on the type of health issues you're dealing with. Not all health issues should prevent you from having children.

It all depends on the people & the circumstances.

I know a social worker, who had to remove a child from her mother, because the mother was a single-parent drug-addict, with no support, and no food for the child.

I know a woman, who said that it wasn't right to have a child, until you had a house kitted out with all mod cons, including a dishwasher. She had her children before her dishwasher!

I know a woman, who claims to dislike children, but who has two of her own & is a child-minder!

I know women, whose husbands became very ill and had to work, and look after their children & spouses.

I know men, whose children are the centre of their lives, but who didn't even realise that they wanted children, until their wives became 'broody' and they came along.

I know women, who became broody, only after miscarrying a child that wasn't even planned in the first place.

I have ulcerative colitis. It flared up for the first time, after I had my second son. Because it wasn't diagnosed, I became very, very ill and thought that I would never be able to have the daughter I wanted. But she came along, anyway, and the pregnancy actually helped my illness.

I think that ~ officially ~ RCs believe that sex is a sin and the only reason for it is to conceive. That's why you only marry for babies, you never use contraceptives, and sex before marriage is sinful.

I think it would depend on the illness. And yes if there is a definite health risk to mom and or baby then of course a doctor has an obligation to point out the risks and strongly advice against it accordingly. Strongly advice doesn't mean forbid. It's still your choice whether or not you take their advice
All I can say is that if you do want kids in the future-near or far-do every thing you can do to make yourself healthier in the meantime.

I figured that the best place to put this would be here. I'm having some serious baby fever right about now. It started a few months ago, but after a serious talk with my boyfriend in September, we decided we could try to have a baby September 2009 if we are lined up to buy a house (our lease is up in December). I think it is because Juliana is getting so big now, she is looking less and less like a baby and more like a child, and I miss that. Also, I had a horrible time with my ex-husband when I was pregnant with J and I was not able to enjoy the experience at all. My ex didnt want kids, and his way of dealing with the pregnancy was to ignore it.

My boyfriend Carlos is a great guy, we have been together for over 1 year and I feel so much more comfortable with him than my ex. We had some problems in December when he was laid off his job because we both started to get depressed, but after some talking we were able to work everything out and I really feel like that made us much stronger as a couple. Since then, we have been doing great and I have never been happier. Im not concerned about not being married to him, because we live together and are basically married, we just dont have the piece of paper that says so. I definately think that we will get married eventually, but we cant do that right now. He is a great dad to J and wants to have a large family.

Back in Sept, like I said, he and I discussed having a baby and we decided to wait until Sept 09, but lately if I mention it to him, half the time he will tell me to get my birth control (I have the Mirena)removed and we will try to have a baby now. Sometimes he even brings it up himself. Other times, he just says no, no, no, we're not ready, etc etc, wait until Sept. So now Im starting to think that he's catching the baby fever too.

I just want to make sure we can do this financially, and really Sept would (in theory) be the best time to do this. I will have been at my job for 1 year in Sept (so I get a raise) and we will most likely have saved up money for a down payment and will be looking at houses. I really really want us to move before I have another baby so that we can have enough space, etc. I also want to be able to decorate J's andnew baby's rooms.

Please give me some advise to curb this baby fever. Or your opinions. I'm driving myself nutso here.