Just wanted to let you know I broke up with him this weekend. He had been bringing up the open relationship idea, and I am not comfortable with that. To me you date one person at a time and he already knew how I felt.
Also he has been bugging me about my weight, saying I should get the lap band, if we marry and have kids they might have health risks, a good gift for my birthday would be a scale...and he is trying to lose weight too and I've been learning about nutrition and health. Well after learning about eating healthier, and seeing how he ate this weekend, I was a little disgusted. Plus a guy doesn't tell a girl to go on a diet, then eat donuts and drink soda in front of her....so rude, right?
So once he brought up the open relationship I was ready to leave his place, even though I planned to stay the night. He said if I left the relationship was over...he didn't want me to leave.
Well I was going out the door when he asked me for my locket back, the 50$ golden heart locket he bought me as a gift! I just laughed and gave it back to him...I'm so worth better right?
But now I'm a little worried that at 22 I won't find someone else...everyone tells me I will, won't I?
Hi Dagny.
I'm sorry about your news.
Twenty-two is still very young.
And better to wait a while for Mr Right, than settle for Mr Wrong.
Good luck!
I agree with PDM and will add that your instincts and opinions about him are obviously right on.
Thanks PMD and Joandboys.
My mom got a kick out of how I dumped him and did not let him push me into the open relationship thing.
I don't think I'm really sad, but just worried about whether I will find someone again. However my mom told me a guy was checking me out at a restaurant yesterday...the sheriff actually! I'm not ready for another relationship but I'd just like to know that there is time left...lol
On the positive note, now that I don't have to meet him each week and pay for my meals at restaurants, I have more money for things I want. Oh and more time for me too! lol
I think this is for the better and 22 is extremely young. At first you will wonder how you meet someone else, but then you will realize that it isn't that difficult to meet someone new. Just be open.
After hearing more stories about how he treated you, this is definitely for the better. No one should make you feel inferior and unimportant. Having value for yourself is what matters.
Thanks for replying.
I was on AIM today and he messaged me. He is happy now that he is free and partying and single. He knows a girl he likes and wants to ask out (I know, weird conversation to strike up with your ex). I guess he will be another girl's nightmare now...
I think I can do better than him...(I'm enjoying being single too)
He also wanted to know if we could be friends someday...I said I don't know.
Do you tend to be friends with your ex? If I see him, I'd say hi and be nice...but I'm not going to be best friends with him...but I think that's what he wants...
It sounds as if you have definitely done the right thing!
I'm wondering if he was just saying all of that to make you jealous. From what you have said he sounds manipulative.
He is very manipulative, be very wary of the foot in the door. I am sure he thinks being friends will give him an advantage.
You've been there, done that, and saw the light.
I don't know...he's done that before. I broke up with him another time in January for a short time. He had called my house though and my mom answered the phone. He said how he liked a girl in one of his classes and was going to ask her out...a few days later it turned out she did not even like him!
He also told me his parents were happy that he made the right decision (breaking up with me I guess). I don't know why they don't like me...I'm a good student in college, get high grades, don't smoke or drink. He on the other hand loves to party and drink and he doesn't do very well in classes. In fact ever since we began dating his grades had gotten better, which he said he worked harder because he knew that was important to me.
Like I said, I really don't want to be good friends...but if I saw him on campus I wouldn't be mean, I'd say hi. But I wouldn't hang out with him or anything.
I think that you are doing the right thing.
Being polite and saying hello seems fine.
Maybe his parents just don't feel that he is mature enough to settle down.
You were talking about marrying him, yet he still wants to behave like a teenager.
Personally, I think that, at only 22, it's ok to behave like a teenager, but one can't do both ~ settle down and be single at the same time.
he was really the one who brought up marriage! he even asked me one day and then an hour later decided it might not be the right time, and didn't want to disappoint his parents. I was just like...ok but I really want to get to know you first so that can't happen for quite some time!
also he even had a long discussion with me on baby names, what he would name the girls and what he would name the boys. I told him some names I liked and he did not like them but I wasn't as into it as he was. then he got upset because he thought I didn't care what we'd name our kids...its not so much that I didn't care but I thought it was early to discuss that?
another time he wanted to know if I liked his last name and got a little upset when he thought I did not
again it was not that I was rejecting that...it just seemed too early to discuss the marriage issue in my opinion...
I mean, we are still in college, I'd like to have a steady job first. And I think he wanted a huge expensive wedding, which he also discussed but again I thought it was too early. Maybe in like a year when we are out of college we could have planned and dreamed up a wedding...but not this early!
He was the only one rushing things, but then he wanted freedom. Like in one day he would be thinking about baby names but the next he'd be wishing he was single. I know he can't have both at the same time...
Exactly.
He wants both and it's impossible.
He sounds a bit troubled. Be free and make yourself strong!! Don't let anyone toy with your emotions and bring you down.