How do I get back into the game?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
It's been six months since I broke up with my girlfriend of two years. She moved on and found somebody else and I decided to cut her out of my life so that I can move on. I tried the friendship thing, but it was just to painful to see her off with somebody else, and I just continued convincing myself she's come back if I stayed in touch with her.
I haven't been on a date since the breakup, nor have there been any girls that have showed interest in me. I have incredibly strong fears of rejection, and I tend to be extremely anti-social around girls, especially if I don't know them. The more time that goes by without meeting someone, the more anxiety builds up. Thoughts like being turned down, not being interesting enough, or just not viewing myself as somebody that a girl would want to be with have started to haunt me quite frequently.
I always see guys around me with girls and wonder why I have so much fear, or why I am still alone. I guess my question to you is, what should I do about this? I need to break out of this rut before it gets worse. I'm not a fling type of guy, and I want something meaninful. I am very confused and insecure right now, and I really need to break out of this before I start to lose hope.
You need to get out there and mix with women.
Join a local co-ed volleyball activity and you will meet plenty of girls. Look in the paper or call the recreation center and find out other co-ed activities like softball.
Or, try book reading clubs, churches, choirs, amateur plays, or self-improvement classes.
The only way to get over your anxiety is to get out there on the field and play. You are guaranteed of failure if you don't try. Expect rejection... it comes with dating. Practice in front of a mirror and pretend you are rejected and try to deal with the feelings. Also practice getting accepted.
You will have to take the bad with the good to make any progress.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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