How to Give a Hickey - Hickey Facts and Information

Everybody always talks about hickeys in junior high and high school, but how do these mysterious red welts on peoples necks appear?

What Is a Hickey?
A hickey is actually broken blood vessels beneath the skin. It's sort of like a bruise, if you got hit with a baseball and the impact broke the blood vessels. But instead of being caused by a foul ball, it's caused by the other person's mouth.

How Do You Give a Hickey?
What you do is put your mouth against the side of their neck, in a kissing shape. You leave your mouth slightly open in the middle, like you're saying the letter "O". Now you suck in! You suck the skin into your mouth, in essence hurting it, and causing the blood vessels to break. This turns that circular area bright red. It doesn't take long, maybe 30 seconds.

If you really aren't good at suction, you can nibble with your teeth. But that is really a last resort, because now you're not giving them a hickey. Now you're just gnawing their skin to make it red.

Yes, giving a hickey hurts the person you're doing it to. You're breaking their blood vessels! But to some, a hickey is a temporary mark of love. Sort of like a red tattoo that fades naturally after a few days. It says "This girl (or guy) trusted me enough to let me damage their throat, one of the most sensitive parts of the human body".

Who Gives a hickey, the Boy or the Girl?
That's like asking who kisses who! Hickeys aren't a male or female thing. They're an "I was Here!" thing, sort of like a mark of pride. So either the girl or the guy can give it to each other. It's sort of a primitive way of saying "This boy is mine!" or "This girl belongs to me!"

Where does the Hickey Go?
Hickeys are marks of possession, so most people put them on the neck where they're nice and visible. Also, a hickey is caused by lips breaking blood vessels and that's easy to do on the sensitive neck. It's less easy to do, say, on the sole of someone's foot. Plus, nobody would see it there. Sure, you could put a hickey on someone's upper inner thigh, but unless they were wearing a swimsuit, nobody would see it. You might as well draw a smily face with magic marker :)

How Long does a Hickey Last?
A hickey is a bruise. Just like any other bruise you get on your body, it will fade when your body heals. There's no set rate. Some people heal quickly, some people heal slowly. It all depends on your own body. You must have been bruised before in your life! So you know how long bruises tend to last ...

How do I Hide my Hickey?
A hickey is put there to show up! It's a mark of I-Was-Here. Why else did you get a hickey on your neck? But let's assume that some wild hickey attacker got to you and now you have to hide the evidence. Again, it's a bruise. It won't just vanish with warm water or cold water or lukewarm water. You can get make-up concealer and try that, to cover it while it fades away naturally. Wear turtlenecks or scarves. If you tend to be a really slow healer, take vitamins and eat healthy food so your body has half a chance of healing up well. Stand in dark corners :)

It will NOT work to put water, ice, eye drops, or aspirin on your hickey. This is a bruise. Blood vessels are broken, they need to mend.

What if I Don't Want a Hickey on Me / Don't Want to Give a Hickey?
In fact I know MANY people who hate hickeys and would never want to give or receive one. To them, it is deliberately causing a partner pain and anguish, and physically harming them. Why would you ever want to do that to someone you cared about? It's just as bad as hitting them with your open palm and then admiring the welt you left. If you personally do NOT want to give or receive a hickey, that is your right. Never let anybody pressure you into doing something you feel uncomfortable with. A true partner would always value your feelings, and would not try to push you into something you didn't want to do.

How To ... in Love