How Tos @ RomanceClass:
How to Overcome Jealousy
Some of the most-asked questions here at RomanceClass are about dealing with jealousy, dealing with a jealous partner, healing from an argument brought on by jealousy. Jealousy is an entire Category of Advice Questions
If you or someone you love is suffering from jealousy, take it seriously. Jealousy in a relationship can DESTROY that relationship even if it is nearly perfect in every other way. That's the harm of Jealousy, that's why it is one of the Seven Deadly Sins. Jealousy is about seeing a normal situation and fearing it because of imaginary potential harm. So there is no way to "fix" the problem other than addressing the actual Jealousy.
This on line course in handling jealousy is being added to each week. Be sure to come back each week to take the next step, and address your own jealousy before it harms those who love you and who you love.
Build your Jealousy Understanding
This first stage of dealing with Jealousy involves becoming more familiar with the issue. Take these 3 steps to understand Jealousy better - what causes it, how it harms a relationship, how you are currently handling jealousy.
Please bookmark this page so you can easily come back to it once you finish each step.
Step 1: Read the Advice on Jealousy
Read through the Jealousy Advice Questions and Answers
. See just how much harm a jealous person can cause to a relationship. Hear from both jealous people and those who love them. Yes, some people may seem wildly silly. Can you imagine screaming at a car dealer because the dealer LOOKED at your partner in life? But remember, to a jealous person, every threat is very real. And since a jealous person sees threats everywhere
, it can ruin a relationship no matter how much the partner tries to keep things quiet.
Step 2: Take the Jealousy Quiz
Where do you fall in the scale of jealousy? Take the Jealousy Quiz
and find out. You might be surprised at how you answer some questions. You may have patterns built up in your life based on how people in soap operas or movies act - not how real, best friends would treat each other.
Step 3: Read Tips on Fighting Jealousy
We have many tips on Understanding and Dealing with Jealousy
. Read through them. Read about ways to deal with jealousy, and ways that jealousy harms a healthy relationship. Give yourself the background and understanding to start dealing with the issue.
Overcoming your Jealousy
Now that you have a better understanding of Jealousy, it's time to start taking action against the jealousy in your own relationships. Fighting jealousy isn't easy. It's been around since the days of the Egyptians and the Bible. Jealousy has existed for thousands of years. But others have wrestled with jealousy and won. So can you.
Step 1: Isolate the Cause of the Jealousy
You may think that the jealousy is caused by your partner looking sexy ... or by a certain person at work. But that isn't the real cause. That is just a symptom. Fill out the Jealousy Cause Worksheet
to fully understand just what the REAL cause is, so that you can then work on finding a resolution.
Step 2: Focus on Eliminating One Jealousy Trigger
You need to realize that the jealousy is able to be overcome. So start out with a Jealousy Focus Activity
where you work through one of the main triggers for your jealousy. This will help you see that the jealousy CAN be overcome.
Step 3: Build Up your Self Esteem
To generalize, just about every jealous situation is caused by the jealous person feeling that they are not good enough for their partner. They feel inadequate ... they feel that "of course" their partner would leave them for someone else, if given half a chance. So one key thing to work on is to Build Up your Self Esteem
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