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Love must be as much a light as a flame. --Henry David Thoreau

I'm afraid i might hurt her

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
My girlfriend and i have been talking about sex for awhile now and we both feel like we want to have it. however, there is one problem that worrys me and, im sure, her also. I'm afraid that i'm going to hurt her.

We are both virgins, so we haven't had any previous experience, but when i use my fingers (however gently)it hurts her so much that she makes me stop when i only use two. My penis is much bigger than my two fingers. we have discussed lube and ways of lessening the friction, but no matter what i know i'm going to hurt her.

Furthermore, i feel like this apprehensiveness will detract from the overall memorable experience that I feel she deserves for her first time and I donít want her to remember it as ackward and painful.

About a month ago she talked to her sister and she said that it will hurt for the first few times and it is natural, but somehow i think that our case is slightly worse than normal. I really donít want to mess this up because I love her so much. Any suggestions on how to keep this special?

RomanceClass.com Advice
You have two options.

First is the old fashioned way... lots of pain and blood and mixed memories.

Second is for her to go to her gynecologist and ask for advice. Maybe her hymen is so thick that a quick in-office operation will be necessary. The downside to this is that her parents will probably have to be involved.

Sorry you are in this situation. BTW, if you choose the first way, be sure to use lots of lubricants plus a lubricated condom. That should solve the problem if it is friction and you may be successful with minor pain. If there is too much pain, the doctor is the next step.

Good luck! George

-- from George
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