Best friends, been involved - it has to be his idea, his timing- he's making my head spin - help!
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I am a guy (he's a Virgo, I'm a Cancer) who we've been best friends since the day we met a year and a half ago. Very close up until his ex and he moved in with long time guy friend. We've been involved a few times off and on. Many people think we are a couple and sometimes we act like one. People think or tell him we should be. He's been through 2 girlfriends since me. I've been in love with him, he knows. I know he does care for me but hides it. Currently he is not with anyone (YEAH!) and has been hanging out with guy friends more lately :) I long to be a couple and for him to give me a real (fair) chance. He tends to contradict himself. He says I am an awesome, pretty gal but says he there is just one reason he doesn't know why he is unable to give me a real chance. He'll say and do things that are opposite of his "no", is sweet to me, some days jerkish and moody. A guy whom it seems it has to be HIS IDEA, his timing. So he has given us a thought and playing the opposites game is driving me batty. He doesn't want me to chase him (my mom says he really does, secretly), he wants me to give his guy time... I give him what he asks and its not it. He takes a lot of patience but so do I. He makes me feel sometimes I have to meet perfectionist standards to be qualified to be with him - he's not above me, he's right there with me. (In league) He's just as nutty. I'm not giving up on him, I just don't know what to do about him to handle him better. I want to strengthen things between us in all aspects and chances. What do I do?
Communications is the answer.
There seems to be some gap in understanding between you two. Work hard at getting him to express himself in a open, respectful way. He seems to have things his way right now -- just like he wants it. He needs to realize that you also have an equal right to a good relationship.
You seem to be doing a good job of riding with his emotions. Too bad that after all this time he is still uncertain. Keep talking with him, that's about the best you can do.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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