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Love is the poetry of the senses. --Honoré de Balzac

Abusing my Boyfriend

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My live in boyfriend of three years just recently kicked me out of our apartment. The thing is that it was my fault. He's a great guy, he treated me good and was very patient with me up until four days ago. I know he loves me, but he is so angry he doesn't even want to see or talk to me.

what happen was that we had an agrument he told me he doesn't want to be with me anymore so then I got depressed and got drunk off my butt. I got physical with him, I was beating on him and yelling at him.

to make long story short police got involved. So, he is extremely mad, but I love him so much. I want him back and I want him to know that I am sorry.

RomanceClass.com Advice
Partner abuse is an EXTREMELY serious issue and it doesn't matter if it's the guy abusing the girl or the girl abusing the guy. Both happen and both are really really serious. So your boyfriend has every right to react strongly to the situation and not want to face future abuse. You proved your lack of respect and trust for him, and your ability to lose control. I really don't know anybody at all that would want to live with a partner that they could not trust like that.

The only way you can work with him now is to take very serious steps to show him that you really are going to get yourself some help. Talk to a therapist and ask him to come along with you. Tell him that you are committed to working on the issue until it is fully resolved. He isn't just going to "trust you" until the next time you blow up and maybe cause him serious injury. You have to show him that you are working with professionals to ensure that you CHANGE how you deal with anger.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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