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All love that has not friendship for its base, Is like a mansion built upon the sand. --Ella Wheeler Wilcox



Long Distance Love



Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
ok so my brother's best friend lives in California (we live in Florida and we moved) so i hadn't seen him for awhile. Then he came out to vist for Christmas. He changed ALOT. He was really handsome and polite. He wasnt what I thought he was gonna be like.

I fell in love with him. I lived with him for two weeks and we didn't kiss or anything. But he cuddled me in his own way. He would sleep on my shoulder and stuff. So i fell in love with my brothers best friend and things i think can't get intimate if my family is always in the way.

Plus he flirts with me, and we like each other but the liking between us isn't out in the open and i think it may hurt our friendship if we started to be "lovers" so I'm stuck.

I love him more than friends and i want him to know more than my flirting, hence how do i tell him i love him? How do i get him to see me in a different light? How will i get to get alone with he and to intimte things that normal coupes do? Please help me out. I love him! But he's my BROTHERS best friend.





RomanceClass.com Advice
You keep saying he's your brother's best friend as if this is some sort of taboo. LOTS of people end up dating their brothers friends or their sisters friends! That is a normal part of life. These are the people in your social crowd, they are the people you get to know so of course they are the people you fall in love with. This is the way life works. If you DIDN'T ever fall for any of your brother's friends I'd be surprised. So don't obsess about that being a bad thing. It's a normal thing.

It's also normal for you to fall for someone that is around a lot, like this guy visiting you all for 2 weeks. You get to know them, see their good and bad sides, see them when they are comfortable and have their guard down. Lots of people fall in love on cruise lines or on camping trips or so on. So that, also is normal.

So really the question is, you have a person who you are great friends with but who you are not yet intimate with, and how do you move from one to the other. That is again a normal, natural way that relationships progress and is the way most great relationships begin. People don't just leap into bed and then have things work most of the time. People who build up the caring and love and friendship and then slowly add in the intimacy are the ones who create strong relationships that last. So so far you are doing a good job.

I have advice here on how to build up your relationship -

http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/howto/friendlover.asp

you will have it rougher because you are long distance. So also read up all my tips on long distance relationships. I assume that you're not of college age yet if you still live with your parents. So work on the long distance relationship for now. Then maybe when you go to college you can go near where he chooses to go and you can be together at that point. But for now you have to make the relationship strong. That way you guys can still be together when you have that opportunity.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





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