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A Love Quote
We don't love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities. --Jacques Maritain

She had said that she stopped seeing her best friend and that she wanted me back in her life.

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Person
Me and the girl that I'm with now dated for 2 1/2 years then in september 2003 she broke up with me cause she fell out of love with me and said that she needed to grow. During the break we had both agreed that we would not date or hook up with certain people. I kept my part, but she ended up hooking up with one of her best friends. When I found out, I had to stop talking to her. It just hurt so much to see her with another guy when I couldn't be with her. I didn't talk to her for about a month, but during the second half of that month she had started writing me letters saying that she missed me and that she loved me. I had wrote back and told her that I couldn't talk to her while she was seeing her best friend.
About the beginning of March I bumped into her at a bar, and we both walked and talked together. It was very emotional for both of us. We started crying and telling each other how much we missed each other. She had said that she stopped seeing her best friend and that she wanted me back in her life. It's about a month and a half later and we are seeing each other. Things couldn't be better, we are in-love with each other, and hold and kiss each other all the time. But I'm having so much trouble getting past the best friend that she saw while we were broken up. I've actually been going to a therapist during the break to try and help me through this and I told him that I can't see past the best friend. He told me that she left him for you, and she is here with you now and that should prove to me that I mean more to her then he does.
I thought about it, and it does make a lot of sense what my therapist said, but I'm still so jealous. I'm jealous of the fact that they dated and liked each other, jealous that they have the same group of friends, and EXTREMELY jealous over the fact that they have had sex. He was also a really romantic guy and I feel like I couldn't do for her what he did for her.
This is the girl that I want to spend the rest of my life with and I don't want something like this to mess us up. I'm trying so hard but it's really bothering me

RomanceClass.com Advice

First off, you're doing the right thing by seeing a therapist. The problem, it seems, is that you have some issues with jealousy that you haven't discussed with your therapist. Maybe you have, but you didn't say so here.

Best I can suggest is to think about what your therapist said, to talk about your jealousy with you therapist and to check out this link: http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/LoveCat/23682.

Best wishes,

-- from Marc
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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