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Break a vase, and the love that reassembles the fragments is stronger than that love which took its symmetry for granted when it was whole. -- Derek Walcott



Missing Having a Girlfriend



Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Hi I am a 17 yr old teenager. In my sophmore year I had my first and only girl friend. During that time I was pretty happy. Then I found out she was using me and cheating on me, so I cut her off immiediatly.

It's been 2 years since then and I havn't had a girl friend since. I stress about not having one everyday, all the time. I have problems enjoying things I used to love to do. I have had depression before and it kind of feels the same. Could my current mood be just because I really miss that intimacy or is it because I am just not content with myself. Thank you for you time.




RomanceClass.com Advice
Society really hammers down the message that to be successful as a teenager, you have to have a girlfriend or boyfriend. So it can be really really depressing if you don't have one. But in reality, tons of teenagers don't have girlfriends or boyfriends - and for a very good reason. Your pool of available matches is very small!! Normally you can really only choose from your school, and a lot of people in your school are already taken. So if your own interests don't happen to match up with someone that is free at your school, you're out of luck.

I know it's hard, but it really means that nobody there is deserving of you and appreciates you. College is HUGELY different because there is a whole new group of people, plus you tend to get out more and have an even wider collection of friends and people you meet. So lots of people who never found a match in high school find tons of matches in college.

Another choice you have is to deliberately widen your base of operations. That is, start doing more things that get you in contact with more people. If you have hobbies you love, get out to clubs and organizations for that hobby that aren't in your immediate area. You might be amazed at the wonderful people who were the next town over this entire time, and you just never ran into them.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





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