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We don't love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities. --Jacques Maritain



We were engaged, then she just ran off



Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My girlfriend and I had been going out for 2 1/2 years and recently got engaged. Then a week and a half ago she left and didn't come back until last night. She said she had sex with someone else and she moved her stuff out of the apartment. During this whole time she has totally ignoring me and won't communicate at all besides yelling and throwing things and pushing me when she was moving out.

We never even had a fight before she left. We spent all our time together and almost always got along. In the time she's been gone she hasn't contacting any of her family or old friends. I know I can do better than having a cheating girlfriend, but I'm so confused what to do. Everything seemed to be going perfectly up until she left.

The things that changed up to that point were she met some friends from high school and she hung out with them. That's when she started to act a little strange. I also got laid off a week before she left.

What should I do? I just want to talk, but she won't return any of my calls. I'm not even sure why she left. I'm so confused and I can't eat or sleep.




RomanceClass.com Advice
Wow, I have to say that sounds like one of the most bizarre things I've ever heard of! She just vanished without telling her *finace* for over a week? And then comes back, moves out and refuses to talk about why? She sounds incredibly, incredibly immature. If she was adult enough to be able to commit the entire rest of her life to you, she better be adult enough to break up with you maturely and explain to you why she is doing what she is doing.

I can try to think up all sorts of strange reasons she'd do this, from drugs to alcohol to someone lying to her about awful things you'd done. But no matter what the reason, she should have TOLD you why she was leaving and given you a chance to state your side. That's what being in a relationship is about, it's about being worthy of trust and respect. Instead, she's acting like a 3 year old, running off on a whim and thinking only about herself.

I would definitely talk to her friends and family and try to figure out what has happened to her. Maybe she's been indoctrinated into some strange cult. Maybe she had to sell all her stuff to pay off a blackmailer. I don't think I would ever recommend getting back with someone who was so incredibly callous, but you *deserve* to get a better explanation of what happened here.

Good luck!!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





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