I Wanted Her to Grow Up so we Broke UpWe often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male My ex-girlfriend and I had dated for about 2 years. We had a great relationship but had our bumps too. I broke up with her once during our relationship (which lasted 3 weeks) and one last time about 3 months ago. My reasons for both break ups were the same. She was very dependent on me and therefore it made others things difficult. I love her very much even when I broke up with her, it was one of the hardest things I've done. I never lost track of the idea of us ultimately being together, I just felt that she needed to find herself and throughout our relationship it didn't seem that it was going to happen when we were together. We kept in touch throughout both break ups. We always have awesome conversations and always talked about how we can only see us together in the future. During both break ups she always wanted to get back together with me, but I didn't feel we had enough time apart to grow. After 3 months she started showing great signs of her discovered independence I was instantly reminded of whom I first fell in love with. So I asked her if we could get back together and work things out, she thought we needed more time. She gets sad and nervous when she talks to me because she still loves me a lot but she tells me that she has to move on. I know that a lot of her decision is based on fear that we may fall back into the same routine and that I'll break up with her again. I don't blame her I hurt her pretty bad from the last break ups. I'm at a point now, which, I was missing before, that I want to work through any problems we might have. I know deep in my heart that she needs more time maybe I do too. But I also feel that we could work these things out and I've told her this. Rejection pays a heavy toll on anyone and I'm in the dumps now. I really want her back and I can't sleep or eat. We have now stopped talking and it kills me. I feel like I need to put up a fight, I need to win her back or I'll loss her. I just don't know if I should wait some time (How much time?) or go for it now. We are having Thanksgiving together, just her and I. My friends tell me that this might not be a good idea. I understand what there saying but I know we will have a good time together. It will be our last time together before we REALLY say goodbye. I'm not expecting sparks to fly and everything will be great from that point on, but I'm hoping to make a lasting impression that will fill both of our hearts full of hope for our futures. User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Male Be yourself tell her what you feel of all those days that shes not around..let her know what is your life to be with her and she will realize how really meant is she for you...be yourself -m* j* The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
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