He broke up with no explanationWe often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female my name is Ashley this is my question its been one year since me and my ex have been broken up he never gave me a exact reason he just said it wasnt working out this hurt me deeply and i couldnt understand why just out of the clear blue sky he would end our perfect ongoing 5 month relationship! we never argued, we gave eachother enough space, i was so Happy i finally met prince charming. when he broke it off i was shocked! i couldnt understand why i even asked his "boyz" if they knew what was up with him? all they said was they didnt know and maybe he just had feelings for his ex or he just lost interest in me. This made me sad why would he loose interest in me? was he just sexually attracted to me and then he got bored so he moves on to the next beauty queen? I mean it just sucks not knowing why i tried to ask him so many times and all he said was nothing like we werent evn togther for 5 months. DOnt i deserve an answer! I spent alot of time and emotions on him. I really felt so much passion for him im so in love with him still amd im afraid my feelings for him wont ever go away. I am so scared I pray to God sometimes to help me in this situation. I hate not being with my ex he made me feel so comfortable and loved now he is gone. hes out of my life maybe even with another girl i dont wisha anything bad on him but i want him 2 know if he ever wants to try again i will i will.Please i need SOMEBODY"S advice. i would be so Grateful u User Submitted Advice from a 41-50 year old Female Find out answer No, No, No! Relationships just "Don't end"! It is only natural to want to know why he broke it off and you do have a right to know and to understand. You don't need therapy! You need to be supported by those who understand and will stand behind you in your cause (so to speak?)as to why your boyrfriend broke-it off. By suggesting you are having a hard time coping and need therapy is not only unsupportive, uncaring, and shallow, but a total disregard for your feelings and needs. You need to be acknowledged for knowing in your heart what is right and wrong and respected for that, not put in the blame and shame chair, and told therapy would help you. Sounds to me like you are coping with your hurt feelings by seeking advice and talking with others about it, and this is exactly what you will do with a therapist. Word of advice? If you have not leanrned by this experience, know never to discuss your relationship with his friends. They are his friends, and you are seen as their rival,(No, they don't dislike you), but they will make you look bad, don't worry though, you can still do damage control, but wait until the two of you have spoken. Keep it bwtween you and your ex-boyfriend. As for your ex-boyfriend he sounds immature and scared, and you are absolutely 100% right, he should tell you why he broke it off, because you have the right to know. As I said, guys will resort to this callous behavior, and it is deceitful, and hurtful, but really it's out of their own fears. Maybe he feared you breaking-up with him, or he was overwhelmed by his emotions, or he had to look like he was in control to his friends. Either way, his emotional insecurties are his problems, not yours! If anyone should benefit from therapy that poor guy would! Let some time pass, let the heat cool down. You will know when is the right time to approach him again, to get your answers. When you call, ask his permission for a few minutes of his time to talk, if he says no, wait a couple or few weeks and approach him again. I have found morning phone calls around 9AM or so to be a good time to call, people are generally relaxed and more approachable than say afternoon or evening. Just remember to thank him for taking the time to talk with you, and how you appreciate his honesty. Remember, after that, "Ball is in your court". Establish a friendship with honesty, trust, and respect, and whatever you do, have patience for a romance to take place, don't push him, and be cordial to his friends. Good-Luck Suzie Q The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
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