He Treats me Poorly - I Want to LeaveWe often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female Hi. OK, well I'm "seeing" a guy right now and to make a long story short, he treats me very badly, ignores me, hides our relationship, and I'm not sure if he's using me. I have left him time and time before and then tried finding a better one, but I can't seem to get over him. I could never find anyone that made me feel the way the guy I'm currently with made me feel. No one seemed right for me. Everything reminded me of him, all I did was think about him, and so I keep going back to him everytime. Please help me. How do I get over him, I'm so ready to move one to someone else, but I just can't let him go. Thanks. User Submitted Advice from a 41-50 year old Female Take time you are suffering from insecurity not love. you're not in love with this man clearly, but in love with love. Or possibly knowing that your future is settled with someone. that is why my friend... you can't replace that drug immediately. he probably is using you or certainly using the situation to his advantage. i try to ask myself "what is in this for me"? when the truthful answer becomes NOTHING... then my pride forces me to let go and move away from that thought as a possibility. you see i am also insecure enough at times to take more that my fare share of someones leftovers and ask for seconds too! 1. take care of you- be gentle with you- be patient with you 2. don't expect an immediate replacement for him. trust me you don't want it or it will be this bizarre again. you are vulnerable right now to meet the same type of jerk. just look for honesty in some friends and breathe a little bit. you'll get stronger in the process. 3. replace fantasy with reality....if you are around him take notes...pick out the things you hate about him and write it down- don't discuss it at all. next time it blows up -pull out your post it notes and stick all over the bathroom, kitchen, bedroom, by the phone and in the car to remind yourself to compare any good thoughts you have about him to how he's made you feel. do not compare him to anyone else because you are not in love with them and you will not be able to fall in love until you rid him from your heart. it will only make you fail again. very best wishes The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
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